I hate myself. I wish I didn't have to be me.

[ggetout33]

Where to even begin. I hate my fat body, I hate being so big and masculine. I hate my body image. I sometimes hate being male, I wish I could be small and beautiful the way women are. I hate the social role we all have to take as men. I hate having to do all the work reaching out and socializing with others, cause I'm an autistic male. I almost constantly feel unwanted and undesirable as a man.

I hate my deep singing voice. I wanted to sing when I was younger but my voice being so deep I just kinda don't wanna sing. I do like metal and I could scream though.

I hate being autistic and missing so many social cues and seeming weird to almost everyone on the planet. At best they know I'm weird and accept me anyways, but I want to be normal.

I hate being ADHD because my lazy, broken brain constantly holds me back from achieving success. It just wants to sit on the internet eating chips all day every day. When I want more, but my useless brain holds me back from getting what I, as in getout33, want. No medication has successfully worked to remove this mental barrier.

I hate not being that good at guitar. It's something I love but the ADHD mental barrier holds me back once more. Just fuckin' stomps on all my dreams, really.

I wish I died and was reincarnated with a new body and mind. Being born into the same family as like my dead previous self's sibling. I wish I could escape my identity. I wish I could escape being so severely bullied in the past and having any sense of self-confidence ruined as a result. I want no one to be like me. I don't wanna be like me either.

Am I a trans woman? Well shit I may be. I know the average man can't hate their body (or body image) this much. But I don't have access to HRT, even if I knew for sure that was what I wanted. Living in a conservative state would mean me putting a glowing neon target on myself.

 

[The anhedonic one]

So sorry you are going through this.
The human body is a flesh prison.
It torments us relentlessly with its constant shitfuckery.
The human brain is an asshole too.
It is our own abuser.

 

[FuneralCry]

Feeling trapped in an existence you hate really is something so awful, it's certainly such a horrible existence where people suffer all through no fault of their own. But I would personally always see reincarnation as being something so undesirable especially as we exist in this world where there's unlimited potential to suffer, I could never understand the appeal of existing in the first place. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[ggetout33]

So sorry you are going through this.
The human body is a flesh prison.
It torments us relentlessly with its constant shitfuckery.
The human brain is an asshole too.
It is our own abuser.

Yet we're expected to have kids and make them suffer.