disabledlife
Arcanist
- Jun 5, 2020
- 436
I hate my country! My country that hates autists! My country with a rotten mentality!
Sorry in advance if I am vulgar, rude, extremely pissed off.
If I am so angry with my country, it is because I had the opportunity, even if it was extremely difficult, with my health, to travel abroad, and to have known other mentalities, more open, more inclusive, more human.
It's the drop too many, which makes me explode with anger.
I have Asperger's autism, a fucking mental illness (at least that's what people in my country make me understand!), I have a high IQ, again a poisonous gift.
I very often ask very in-depth questions, out of curiosity, in various fields. Transport, town planning, geology, astronomy, gastronomy, history, politics, finance, etc. I ask questions, spontaneously, to everyone, no matter who the people are, as long as I have answers.
I took a bus earlier to go home, this bus made a detour to drop off two colleagues at a depot. And, out of curiosity, I just wanted to know which service provider this deposit belonged to, so I asked these two people this question. But, instead of expecting a smile and a response, these people just made fun of me and didn't respond.
Finally, it was another driver, from another bus, once I arrived at my house, who answered me, he apologized on behalf of his colleagues, for what I suffered, and was also sorry that my country does not satisfy me, because I am sprinkled.
In my country, a shitty country it must be said, I can't hold back any longer, I have to break out, I sometimes complain, to let off steam, or just to get support, because I almost have no friends.
I told, everywhere in SaSu, (threads and posts) my story of life, birth, childhood, my desire for CTB, a permanent desire.
This desire for CTB is permanent, as nothing reassures me, nothing relieves me, nothing pleases me, I have nightmares all the time, traumatized from my childhood, beaten by my father, harassed at school, I have nightmares (post-thraumatic stress) even in broad daylight!
3 months ago, I posted a message in SaSu, because I was rejected from my high IQ shit association, because I complained about my life, from time to time (only 10 times in two years ), because the cup was full, thinking to be reassured, listened to. Instead they ended up creating competing groups to my groups, on facebook and many of them blocked me. It seems that it is the antenna of my country which is rotten, in association High IQ, not the antennas of other country, because foreigners warned me to have been disappointed members of my country. There is corruption, malicious agreements in the antenna of my country of association High IQ!
Since then, I haven't given any sign of life to this shitty association, I played dead, I abandoned Facebook, taking care to block, reciprocally all the people who blocked me (there is a way, even if this damn Facebook, a social network that should never have existed, given the harm it caused for everyone, all over the world)!
My association loves Facebook, I understand better, given the shitty mentality they have, especially in my country! They weren't happy that I was going to create groups on Discord.
Since then, I am very alone, I think much more often of an extremely violent CTB, to punish my country, to teach them a good lesson, but without hurting others, to the point of shocking public opinion, that it is mediated. I would like my death to serve as a lesson, to make people understand that we must not procreate to transmit diseases, weaknesses, handicaps... because, in any case, society will never include people who are different!
Society will reject anyone who is not up to society's standards, shitty standards, like being tall, beautiful, healthy, rich, (thank you capitalism, a permanent contest to who will be the strongest, the richest ...)!
If nobody wants birth control, I repeat, for the good of the people who are going to be created and then born, so that they never again suffer what I suffered, for example, never again suffer disabilities, autism, to be ugly, small... that at least we can have the right, at any time, to demand, from society, for the fact of not having asked to be born, assistance in dying, some be the reasons, peaceful or not (according to the desires of each), and according to the chosen way, and to be surrounded, for people who want to leave life surrounded rather than dying alone, isolated.
I can't stand waking up, every day, in pain and suffering, after nightmares, only to finally come out and see that mean people, with a closed mind, who reject you, but who hold you back by force, alive, because they know you want CTB!
It would have been a long time ago, if I was sure that all my mess, in my house, would be tidied up (if my health is capable of it, of course) and that I would be sure of my method for CTB, unless I had the right to euthanasia, given the incurable and progressive disease from which I suffer, I would have left! Without regrets!
Of course, my country will never legalize euthanasia or assisted suicide, given the shitty mentality of politics, corruption, lobbies.
Two years ago, there was a coup d'etat, to prevent the passage of a law going in this direction, with eccentric amendments, on the part of some corrupt deputies who prevented the majority of the other deputies from pass the law!
My country is a prison, and its guards are executioners!
I'm tired of living, extremely tired, if only one event could kill me in my sleep!
I honestly hope that I haven't hurt anyone here in SaSu with my stories, it's not my intention, but I had to let off steam, I'm sorry, it's impossible to hold back so much anger without it exploding one day. It's like an earthquake, after the rupture of a tectonic fault.
Sorry in advance if I am vulgar, rude, extremely pissed off.
If I am so angry with my country, it is because I had the opportunity, even if it was extremely difficult, with my health, to travel abroad, and to have known other mentalities, more open, more inclusive, more human.
It's the drop too many, which makes me explode with anger.
I have Asperger's autism, a fucking mental illness (at least that's what people in my country make me understand!), I have a high IQ, again a poisonous gift.
I very often ask very in-depth questions, out of curiosity, in various fields. Transport, town planning, geology, astronomy, gastronomy, history, politics, finance, etc. I ask questions, spontaneously, to everyone, no matter who the people are, as long as I have answers.
I took a bus earlier to go home, this bus made a detour to drop off two colleagues at a depot. And, out of curiosity, I just wanted to know which service provider this deposit belonged to, so I asked these two people this question. But, instead of expecting a smile and a response, these people just made fun of me and didn't respond.
Finally, it was another driver, from another bus, once I arrived at my house, who answered me, he apologized on behalf of his colleagues, for what I suffered, and was also sorry that my country does not satisfy me, because I am sprinkled.
In my country, a shitty country it must be said, I can't hold back any longer, I have to break out, I sometimes complain, to let off steam, or just to get support, because I almost have no friends.
I told, everywhere in SaSu, (threads and posts) my story of life, birth, childhood, my desire for CTB, a permanent desire.
This desire for CTB is permanent, as nothing reassures me, nothing relieves me, nothing pleases me, I have nightmares all the time, traumatized from my childhood, beaten by my father, harassed at school, I have nightmares (post-thraumatic stress) even in broad daylight!
3 months ago, I posted a message in SaSu, because I was rejected from my high IQ shit association, because I complained about my life, from time to time (only 10 times in two years ), because the cup was full, thinking to be reassured, listened to. Instead they ended up creating competing groups to my groups, on facebook and many of them blocked me. It seems that it is the antenna of my country which is rotten, in association High IQ, not the antennas of other country, because foreigners warned me to have been disappointed members of my country. There is corruption, malicious agreements in the antenna of my country of association High IQ!
Since then, I haven't given any sign of life to this shitty association, I played dead, I abandoned Facebook, taking care to block, reciprocally all the people who blocked me (there is a way, even if this damn Facebook, a social network that should never have existed, given the harm it caused for everyone, all over the world)!
My association loves Facebook, I understand better, given the shitty mentality they have, especially in my country! They weren't happy that I was going to create groups on Discord.
Since then, I am very alone, I think much more often of an extremely violent CTB, to punish my country, to teach them a good lesson, but without hurting others, to the point of shocking public opinion, that it is mediated. I would like my death to serve as a lesson, to make people understand that we must not procreate to transmit diseases, weaknesses, handicaps... because, in any case, society will never include people who are different!
Society will reject anyone who is not up to society's standards, shitty standards, like being tall, beautiful, healthy, rich, (thank you capitalism, a permanent contest to who will be the strongest, the richest ...)!
If nobody wants birth control, I repeat, for the good of the people who are going to be created and then born, so that they never again suffer what I suffered, for example, never again suffer disabilities, autism, to be ugly, small... that at least we can have the right, at any time, to demand, from society, for the fact of not having asked to be born, assistance in dying, some be the reasons, peaceful or not (according to the desires of each), and according to the chosen way, and to be surrounded, for people who want to leave life surrounded rather than dying alone, isolated.
I can't stand waking up, every day, in pain and suffering, after nightmares, only to finally come out and see that mean people, with a closed mind, who reject you, but who hold you back by force, alive, because they know you want CTB!
It would have been a long time ago, if I was sure that all my mess, in my house, would be tidied up (if my health is capable of it, of course) and that I would be sure of my method for CTB, unless I had the right to euthanasia, given the incurable and progressive disease from which I suffer, I would have left! Without regrets!
Of course, my country will never legalize euthanasia or assisted suicide, given the shitty mentality of politics, corruption, lobbies.
Two years ago, there was a coup d'etat, to prevent the passage of a law going in this direction, with eccentric amendments, on the part of some corrupt deputies who prevented the majority of the other deputies from pass the law!
My country is a prison, and its guards are executioners!
I'm tired of living, extremely tired, if only one event could kill me in my sleep!
I honestly hope that I haven't hurt anyone here in SaSu with my stories, it's not my intention, but I had to let off steam, I'm sorry, it's impossible to hold back so much anger without it exploding one day. It's like an earthquake, after the rupture of a tectonic fault.
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