Venting I hate living

[princexhhn]

I never asked to be born. I don't want to do any of this anymore. Pro-lifers preach life everywhere and tell me all is not over but they don't fucking get it, I'm exhausted, I'm fucking tired. There's nothing substantial in this life I just don't want to do this anymore. If I had a method, I'd be dead already. Why does everybody insist on KEEPING ME ALIVE?! I can't do it anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. Why are they keeping me here? I've given up, please let go. I don't wanna do this anymore. They took away my rope, my razors, they don't even let me out of the house alone. I'm 21 and treated this way because of my depression. I'm basically on constant suicide watch by my family. I just don't wanna be here. I wish I was never born at all. I should have been the one to die, not my sister. She deserves to live, she would have loved to live. My sister deserves life more than I do. At least she actually wanted to live. The reaper takes the wrong fucking people.

 

[bipolar22]

I hear you. Nobody should have the right to decide over another adult in an ideal world. In these people's eyes its the depression, "the demons in your head" as they often like to frame it, causing it, rather than you making the decision that life is not worth it for you. They dont wanna deal with that possibility because it might induce negative feelings for them. I have been in this situation many times and while a can't give you advice i just wanna let you know that many here understand or even live with the same feeling.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I hate living, life, existence and this evil world

 

[LetMeOut67]

I don't see it as a big deal if people wish to discontinue this state of being they didn't ask for , cannot cope with and don't want.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand, I also hate suffering in this dreadful, torturous existence, all I want is to be gone, I just wish to never suffer ever again, I'd just never wish for this cruel existence that just causes so much suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for and I see so much cruelty in how the option to cease existing painlessly is denied, I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.

 

[qsocdu]

Me too, friend. Me too. Sometimes I wonder about existence and it all seems so pointless. Even when I decide to just try to enjoy it since I'm already here, seems like I'm never satisfied, or it doesn't last much. Most of the time I just feel the dread and life feels like a fever dream. I just want to stop thinking.

 

[anonymous2025]

Others who may have somebody close to them who is suicidal, and it feels like all they think about is themselves, the pain of losing a loved one is extremely raw and I can relate as I was so upset with my sister when she ctb in 2019 the night after I slept over her house.( I had to plan her burial) I felt like she didn't care enough to keep living a life with her younger brother (me) involved even though our parents and grandparents have already passed. I realized I was being selfish when thinking about how the tables could have been turned when I've made a few failed ctb attempts in my past and never said a word about it to anybody including my sister,
if only I would have succeeded , she would have been in my shoes as the bereaved sibling.

 

[_Gollum_]

I should have been the one to die, not my sister. She deserves to live, she would have loved to live. My sister deserves life more than I do. At least she actually wanted to live. The reaper takes the wrong fucking people.

I get this. My first failed attempt was via drowning, and just a few weeks ago I saw a news story about someone who accidentally fell into that same river and drowned. And these kinds of accidental drownings happen all the time in this specific river. It felt so unfair to me. I wanted to die, and had gone to great lengths to plan my death, and yet I survived, while this person who probably wanted to live succumbed. I wish I could give this life that I despise so deeply, this existence that is so burdensome to me, to someone who actually wants it.

Btw love your profile pic, Loki is one of my favourite fictional characters of all time <3

 

[Off_Switch]

The most annoying people are the one's that say "You just need to find God."

 

[princexhhn]

I get this. My first failed attempt was via drowning, and just a few weeks ago I saw a news story about someone who accidentally fell into that same river and drowned. And these kinds of accidental drownings happen all the time in this specific river. It felt so unfair to me. I wanted to die, and had gone to great lengths to plan my death, and yet I survived, while this person who probably wanted to live succumbed. I wish I could give this life that I despise so deeply, this existence that is so burdensome to me, to someone who actually wants it.

We're all in this together, mate

Btw love your profile pic, Loki is one of my favourite fictional characters of all time <3

He's one of mine too! :D