Venting I hate it when people say “you are so young” to invalidate the wish to die of suicidal adults

[FuneralCry]

I cannot stand it how suicidal adults who aren't elderly often get their wish to die invalidated in such a patronising way. I'm close to 23 and I hate how that would be viewed as too "young" by many. I don't understand the people who think that one must reach an elderly age to have earned their right to die and I don't understand how the personal decision to die is other people's business, they cannot experience existence in the same way anyway.

Just because some people worship life so much doesn't mean that everyone is them, and for me 23 years is really such a long time. I just think that some people don't wish to accept that death is the most desirable solution for many other people. To me the more time spent trapped here just means more opportunity to suffer, and just because some people aren't elderly doesn't mean they can't suffer, there is no limit as to how much one can be tormented in this existence.

And I just don't see any value in prolonging this existence as much as possible, for me it only feels rational wishing for death to escape all future unnecessary suffering. I'd prefer for this existence to be forgotten about, I don't get how death could ever be supposedly bad as one cannot be harmed by not existing, all that humans are doing is waiting to die anyway.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I began wanting to die from the age of 9 and my feelings haven't changed at all to this day.
I've never liked this world because it's an evil place filled with a multitude of stupidity and pointless suffering.
I've also felt very out of place in this world as though being here is some kind of terrible accident.
I see no reason to be here at all because human existence is just one problem after another .
Being here is like a waking nightmare to me, and the sooner the dream ends the better.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Me being young (18) makes me want to be dead even *more*. The younger I successfully ctb, the less total amount of time I'd have to suffer when looking at this counterfactually (i.e. compared to when I'd have to live)

 

[Immensevoid]

Even though society considers me young I feel already old due to the misadventures I had and have to go through since decades and above all due to my health and living conditions . I'll be 27 next year but it all seems like a nightmare to me for too long now. Sometimes it's not your age that matters but how you can spend this life. Knowing that you have the freedom to decide whether to continue or not could help many hopeless people not to feel the full weight of this existence on them and lighten it.

 

[tiger b]

...then you get old and noone takes you seriously anyway if you're not making much coin, so don't worry, they'll always be a set of patronising bastards ready to pre-judge and invalidate you, whatever age you are.

 

[Kit1]

To be honest, people are always questioning people who want to end their lives- too young, you have a family, how dare you with having young children, you have to think of your parents, you have a job and a house.., The list is endless. I have always wondered if this is because people are scared of the unknown and death - hence all the comments..,

 

[kilowatt]

I'm not even 20 yet and I already feel like I've been here for too long. I sometimes wish the attempts in my teen years succeeded. I plan to CTB this month.

 

[Specific_Milk]

They assume that all young people are naive and haven't 'suffered enough' to know what it's like. They disregard other extremely important factors like upbringing and socio-economic circumstances (individual and collective). There are far too many horrible parents that have permanently scarred their children emotionally and physically, the sufferings of which can NOT be undermined. They don't consider the economic circumstances of young people like us, the fact that the labour market is absurdly tight (where several years of higher education wont even guarantee success anymore)* or the fact that simply owning a house is a pipe dream for the majority of young people. We as young people are forced to adapt again and again to this exponentially fast paced society with technologies that threaten the demise of all. We are expected to navigate this ultra materialistic, narcissistic and morally deprived society of today, in addition to the fuck ups of the previous generations as manifested in climate change.

Each generation faces their own set of challenges but arguably, the current one was born into a world that's so fucked it's not even worth saving. The pressure that society puts on young people is unbearable and not worth it. Why is it that being a corporate slave is considered the epitome of success? When you apply for jobs what do employers want? they do not simply want your labour but your absolute mental subservience. It is not enough to say 'I want this job because I need the money. I am willing to exchange my labour for a wage'. Employers NOW want 'I've been dreaming of flipping burgers since my conception. I have ALWAYS been passionate about putting ketchup on patties'

So called 'adults' have NO say when it comes to the struggles of being young in today's world. They can piss off. Rant done

*there is a nice video of the economist Yanis Varoufakis talking about the absurdity of platforms like linkedin. How we young people are forced to care ALL the time about how we look and what we do on social media. We are commodifying ourselves to the extreme for some future employer.

 

[Neogoloid]

I think even minors should be allowed access to a quick and painless death. I've wanted to die since 13 years old. It doesn't always get better.

 

[meioalguem]

I began wanting to die from the age of 9 and my feelings haven't changed at all to this day.
I've never liked this world because it's an evil place filled with a multitude of stupidity and pointless suffering.
I've also felt very out of place in this world as though being here is some kind of terrible accident.
I see no reason to be here at all because human existence is just one problem after another .
Being here is like a waking nightmare to me, and the sooner the dream ends the better.

how old are you? i have the same feeling.

 

[sad_rock]

I'm not even 20 yet and I already feel like I've been here for too long. I sometimes wish the attempts in my teen years succeeded. I plan to CTB this month.

turning 20 the end of this year yet i feel so old. i cant imagine being here any longer.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

how old are you? i have the same feeling.

42.
The older you get, the worse it gets.

 

[passivethought121]

Started feeling suicidal around 13. Every year I wish I had CTB already. As I get older I get more responsibility and obligation. It would've been easier if I did it then.

 

[Scattered-Soul]

I completely agree. The other commenters are right that suicidal people get invalidated in general but I feel like young people, especially teens, get ridiculed way more, they're told that they haven't experienced the world yet and shouldn't have anything to feel suicidal over, that they don't know anything. Or that they shouldn't throw their lives away. It's so infuriating, there are million reasons why a person could be suicidal and it doesn't take much to realize that the world we live in is a very cruel and unjust place. I've felt suicidal since kindergarten and even though the reason for my wish to CTB has changed drastically, those feelings I had back then and continued to experience throughout high school as well were real and valid. And I wasn't some naive kid looking for attention.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I suppose I agree with it in the case of assisted suicide- to be over 18 (which I know you don't.) Just because we have that benchmark for other life changing decisions in life. Obviously- if there are debhilitating health issues- that's different and an individual choosing to CTB is different- that was up to them. Clearly they were in enough pain to do it in order to escape.

I was a suicidal minor myself. Ages 10-18 were the worst of my life- to date. Perhaps the motives for me wanting to CTB have changed with age but I'm not so sure the feelings have. Certainly not the intensity of feeling anyhow. So yes- I agree- it's very belittling to young folk to just tell them it's a phase or something.

Ideally- it should always be judged on a case by case basis. You personally seem always to have hated life. You don't have any interest in changing that- so- there's no real reason things would change in the future. Other people's ideation may be triggered by specific things. I was so utterly miserable because I was mourning my dead family members and living with a (suspected) narcissist. Things briefly got better for me when I left home and went to uni. So- if young people are suicidal because of their homelife- there is a chance things could improve if they got away from that. Not everyone can though. Again- it should be a case by case basis for everyone. Just how easy is it to solve their problems? Regardless, it's not up to us to judge anyone after the fact. Things were bad enough for them to do that. That ought to be an indicator of what they were dealing with.

I think people tend to criticize the young because they believe they have more options open to them at that point. Of course- again it depends on the individual. Their financial situation, their health, their abilities- just because someone is young, doesn't mean they have unlimited potential. I agree though- the most insulting part of it is the insinuation that they don't know their own mind and this perverse stipulation that they haven't actually suffered enough to warrant them wanting to end it. I do think they should be offered help- as I think all people should. However- I think it should be up to them whether they want to accept it.