luckycharms101
A Tired, Tired Soul
- Dec 9, 2021
- 6
Wasn't quite sure of the best wording for this but it drives me insane when I am talking to someone about my struggles and they reply with something along the lines of "things will get better." Especially that shit online where people just share a friggin picture with some random text saying "it gets better" or "i love you don't kys" on their facebook page, it feels more like they just want a friggin pat on the back more than to actually help someone.
It honestly does nothing. It does not help anyone except them when they say that shit. Things do not always get better, how about instead of blowing someone off you respond with something either helpful or respond with something considerate. It never feels nice to hear that shit.
I remember when I was talking to my therapist a million years ago about being bullied at my old job and she was just like "don't worry, life gets better" like... I am still alive right now and have to currently deal with the issues surrounding me. The person that i am cannot just shut off until better times come. I still am going to experience this negativity. I am not a bear who can hibernate until the environment is less hostile for me. I am coming to you for help, it is literally your job to help me navigate these waters.
I know it isn't other peoples jobs to solve my problems for me, I guess that isn't what I expect, I just feel like when someone is telling me about their woes, I want to say something that would ACTUALLY make them feel better, and feel like not only am I listening, but I am using my mental energy to process the things they are saying and trying to produce a response that will make them feel good NOW. Am I crazy or is that how conversations with people you care about are supposed to work? Sometimes I just buy them food when I cant help them but even then, if I am feeling especially bad and in a dark place and someone cared enough to buy me a snack I think that would do way more than "things will get better." It feels like the verbal equivalent of those damn "hang in there" posters with the cat dangling off the branch.
I get that nobody OWES me anything in a conversation, I just cannot imagine dropping that line to someone I cared about. Like, I had a friend who when she was feeling really down, my sister (her bff) would plan a date with her. It was never really much, they would usually make chicken nuggets/ kraft mac n cheese, drink box wine and watch tv, but it was enough to pull her mind away from the negativity.
I dont know if I really have a point here, and of course there are people who hear the "it gets better" stuff and do feel better, to me it just feels like someone who says that doesn't care. It is a struggle to put my frustrations into words as well, you just aren't allowed to tell people that when they say this it feels like they're ignoring me.
How do others feel about this? I am genuinely curious to see how others feel, are there other things that piss you off that people say to you when you're upset? (my other favorite is "did you take your meds today?")
It honestly does nothing. It does not help anyone except them when they say that shit. Things do not always get better, how about instead of blowing someone off you respond with something either helpful or respond with something considerate. It never feels nice to hear that shit.
I remember when I was talking to my therapist a million years ago about being bullied at my old job and she was just like "don't worry, life gets better" like... I am still alive right now and have to currently deal with the issues surrounding me. The person that i am cannot just shut off until better times come. I still am going to experience this negativity. I am not a bear who can hibernate until the environment is less hostile for me. I am coming to you for help, it is literally your job to help me navigate these waters.
I know it isn't other peoples jobs to solve my problems for me, I guess that isn't what I expect, I just feel like when someone is telling me about their woes, I want to say something that would ACTUALLY make them feel better, and feel like not only am I listening, but I am using my mental energy to process the things they are saying and trying to produce a response that will make them feel good NOW. Am I crazy or is that how conversations with people you care about are supposed to work? Sometimes I just buy them food when I cant help them but even then, if I am feeling especially bad and in a dark place and someone cared enough to buy me a snack I think that would do way more than "things will get better." It feels like the verbal equivalent of those damn "hang in there" posters with the cat dangling off the branch.
I get that nobody OWES me anything in a conversation, I just cannot imagine dropping that line to someone I cared about. Like, I had a friend who when she was feeling really down, my sister (her bff) would plan a date with her. It was never really much, they would usually make chicken nuggets/ kraft mac n cheese, drink box wine and watch tv, but it was enough to pull her mind away from the negativity.
I dont know if I really have a point here, and of course there are people who hear the "it gets better" stuff and do feel better, to me it just feels like someone who says that doesn't care. It is a struggle to put my frustrations into words as well, you just aren't allowed to tell people that when they say this it feels like they're ignoring me.
How do others feel about this? I am genuinely curious to see how others feel, are there other things that piss you off that people say to you when you're upset? (my other favorite is "did you take your meds today?")
