Venting I hate how my mom treats my sister better

[sserafim]

I hate how my sister is the golden child. I hate how my mom treats her better than me. It's honestly so annoying. My mom buys and gets my sister anything that she wants and goes out to eat with her (without me). My sister is like "I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it." Today, I got super mad about the fact that my mom bought my sister skincare products, but not me. Do I not deserve skincare products too? Why couldn't I have been the favorite? This is just so unfair. I hate how my sister gets everything that she wants and how "I want it, I got it, I want it, I got" is her motto.

 

[Deleted member 8119]

My parents also compared me all the time, with other people, specially family. The reason I don't care is because I do the same with them. They are a failure as parents and persons, and nothing they say has significance to me. They aren't in position to judge anyone.

If your parents treat you poorly, you should remove importance from them.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

How old is your sister?

 

[sserafim]

How old is your sister?

She's 19, but my mom has always treated her better than me, even when we were kids. My sister is the favorite child; she's always been closer to my mom than I have. Her and my mom are like friends. My sister is the golden child and mastermind while I'm the lost child and scapegoat

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm sorry, this must be awful.

 

[LittleCupcake]

I feel that. I wasnt the golden child either, I was the one that got forgotten about. I really get how shit it is.

 

[Agon321]

I'm guessing this must be a frustrating situation for you. I don't know your character, but judging by what you write, you are secretive. Of course, I don't know your sister, but maybe she's more expressive? That's one of the reasons why maybe your mom treats her better. Or because she's younger and in your mom's eyes, your sister is a "mommy's girl."

Well, I don't know your family, so I can only guess.

 

[smileycryptid]

I hate how my sister is the golden child. I hate how my mom treats her better than me. It's honestly so annoying. My mom buys and gets my sister anything that she wants and goes out to eat with her (without me). My sister is like "I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it." Today, I got super mad about the fact that my mom bought my sister skincare products, but not me. Do I not deserve skincare products too? Why couldn't I have been the favorite? This is just so unfair. I hate how my sister gets everything that she wants and how "I want it, I got it, I want it, I got" is her motto.

I feel you I'm so sorry it really really sucks so much when parents have favourites I tried so hard to earn my parents affection worked myself half to death but it was never good enough are you the oldest sibling by chance ?

 

[sserafim]

I feel you I'm so sorry it really really sucks so much when parents have favourites I tried so hard to earn my parents affection worked myself half to death but it was never good enough are you an older sibling by chance ?

Yeah I'm the older sibling

 

[smileycryptid]

Yeah I'm the older sibling

Yeah older sibling trauma is so real I was always 'failed potential' even though I never got the support my sister did
I hope you get your skincare it's awful feeling left out you deserve as much as your sister

 

[sserafim]

I'm guessing this must be a frustrating situation for you. I don't know your character, but judging by what you write, you are secretive. Of course, I don't know your sister, but maybe she's more expressive? That's one of the reasons why maybe your mom treats her better.

Wdym? How am I "secretive"?

 

[Agon321]

Wdym? How am I "secretive"?

I mean, you seem like a person who lives on the sidelines. You are not extroverted and expressive. Rather calm. You probably don't show your feelings on a daily basis either.
That's why, among other things, you're secretive.

Of course, I could be completely wrong. I don't know you so I don't know what you are like. These are simply conclusions from what you write on this website.

There is also a high probability that the translator mistranslated what I meant. This is a huge problem in my case. My comments usually look much worse because of my lack of knowledge of English. I have to write in a very simple way, and there are still mistakes.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

Do you think your mother treats your sister better because she's living a life like everyone else, and your mother isn't like that with you because you don't want to study or work?

In my case, I'm my mother's favorite, and she loves me more than my brothers. The difference here is that I'm poor, and she can't buy me whatever I want. Additionally, if I want something, I have to use my own money because according to her, that way I'll value being a slave my job

 

[sserafim]

Do you think your mother treats your sister better because she's living a life like everyone else, and your mother isn't like that with you because you don't want to study or work?

In my case, I'm my mother's favorite, and she loves me more than my brothers. The difference here is that I'm poor, and she can't buy me whatever I want. Additionally, if I want something, I have to use my own money because according to her, that way I'll value being a slave my job

I think so? My mom says that my sister is "doing what she's supposed to do" and is "living a life", but she's treated my sister better than me ever since we were kids. My sister is in college right now (at an Ivy), and she's prelaw. She's on the path to go to law school and eventually become a lawyer. I graduated college almost 2 years ago, and didn't live up to my parents' expectations. They wanted me to go to medical school and become a doctor, but I failed to launch

 

[Final_Choice]

As someone who's the "golden child," I usually would rather not be. There's a lot of increased pressure to the point I'd rather be like my brother and be farther apart from my family, I don't like admitting it but that's how I feel. Considering how she probably also has a lot of increased pressure it's possible that once she finishes college she'll also get stuck on the same point in life you're at.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I can relate. Growing up my older brother was the preferred child and I was the black sheep. He is like my parents: good grades, good at math while I was bad at math and autistic. I was called dumb and made fun by own family. My father would ignore me and my mother was straight up mean to me. He always got expensive gifts and his achievements were celebrated while I was invisible.
When you feel like you are not good enough for your parents it leaves such a deep scars on your psyche. :(

 

[sserafim]

I mean, you seem like a person who lives on the sidelines. You are not extroverted and expressive. Rather calm. You probably don't show your feelings on a daily basis either.
That's why, among other things, you're secretive.

Of course, I could be completely wrong. I don't know you so I don't know what you are like. These are simply conclusions from what you write on this website.

There is also a high probability that the translator mistranslated what I meant. This is a huge problem in my case. My comments usually look much worse because of my lack of knowledge of English. I have to write in a very simple way, and there are still mistakes.

Yeah, I do stay on the sidelines. I observe while other people participate. I seem calm to other people, but I'm actually very anxious inside. I'm pretty shy and reserved. My crush said that his first impression of me was "quiet and unassuming."

 

[melancholymallory03]

I hate how my sister is the golden child. I hate how my mom treats her better than me. It's honestly so annoying. My mom buys and gets my sister anything that she wants and goes out to eat with her (without me). My sister is like "I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it." Today, I got super mad about the fact that my mom bought my sister skincare products, but not me. Do I not deserve skincare products too? Why couldn't I have been the favorite? This is just so unfair. I hate how my sister gets everything that she wants and how "I want it, I got it, I want it, I got" is her motto.

I've heard about the golden child and scape goat psychology in family units. Do you feel like the scape goat?
Does you're father treat you're sister better to? Or just your mom? I hate when parents have favourites. My dad always wanted a son and ignored my mom and left us for his first born son when I was just five. I always wished I was a boy after that sometimes , even though I love being a girl.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My mom treats me like I'm still a teenager because often I do complain like one. My sister on the other hand (the one who isn't special needs) gets treated more like an adult even though she's younger than me because she's actually more mature in a lot of ways. I think it's just because my sister is better at showing that she's at least trying in life because she has a better career path than me.

Then again my mom once confided in me that she secretly never wanted daughters in the first place and wishes she had just stopped after me. She said she tries not to show favoritism just because I'm her only son which is all she wanted but I don't know if that's better or worse for me.

 

[sserafim]

I've heard about the golden child and scape goat psychology in family units. Do you feel like the scape goat?
Does you're father treat you're sister better to? Or just your mom? I hate when parents have favourites. My dad always wanted a son and ignored my mom and left us for his first born son when I was just five. I always wished I was a boy after that sometimes , even though I love being a girl.

I don't talk to my dad and I didn't grow up with him. He lives overseas. I think he likes and treats me better because I'm the oldest and I've interacted with him more, but he's mad at my failure to launch into adulthood/the real world, and views me as a failure and a failed investment. He wanted me to go to med school and become a doctor.

He also got mad at me for talking back to and defying him when I saw him last summer. He got furious when I didn't want to go to breakfast (I couldn't get up due to jet lag and also wasn't hungry) and he said I was "going against the team" and "[didn't] have team spirit". He beat me with an umbrella until I turned black and blue, and forced me to go down to breakfast. The umbrella literally bent from it. He's very bossy and controlling. My sister didn't say anything; she just obeyed him and did what he said. He likes my sister because she's doing what she's supposed to (she's in college right now at an Ivy preparing to eventually go to law school)

 

[melancholymallory03]

I don't talk to my dad and I didn't grow up with him. He lives overseas. I think he likes and treats me better because I'm the oldest and I've interacted with him more, but he's mad at my failure to launch into the real world/workforce, and views me as a failure and a failed investment. He wanted me to go to med school and become a doctor. He also got mad at me for talking back to him in China. My sister didn't say anything. He likes my sister because she's doing what she's supposed to (she's in college right now at an Ivy preparing to eventually go to law school)

Maybe he would be a little bit of a better person to stay with if it came to that? I understand if you have reservations about going overseas though for any reason.
It seems like you're parents put the focus only on ur accomplishments and praising you instead of actually supporting you through what seems like a very important stage your-life.
You're in like a coming of age threshold , shouldn't she be walking you through this or whatever. Reminds me of how soon is now by the smiths. If she's anything human …. I swear ..:. There's gotta be a way to crack her.
. She can be broken down. She is not special or unique we are all the same broken and beastly unfortunate creatures, just tumbling through life. Tumbling …. Little …. Weeds

 

[sserafim]

Maybe he would be a little bit of a better person to stay with if it came to that? I understand if you have reservations about going overseas though for any reason.
It seems like you're parents put the focus only on ur accomplishments and praising you instead of actually supporting you through what seems like a very important stage your-life.
You're in like a coming of age threshold , shouldn't she be walking you through this or whatever. Reminds me of how soon is now by the smiths. If she's anything human …. I swear ..:. There's gotta be a way to crack her.
. She can be broken down. She is not special or unique we are all the same broken and beastly unfortunate creatures, just tumbling through life. Tumbling …. Little …. Weeds

He doesn't like me lol. I don't like him either. My dad is the mean one and my mom is the nice one

 

[1MiserableGuy]

That's part of being oldest, I got it too and it sucks. Rules that applied to me absolutely did not to my brothers. One of them is 25 and still lives rent free with no school or job. The same parents had me get the fuck out the moment of 18, but I didn't mind because I had a lot of shit to escape from anyhow, and off to Nashville I went.

 

[melancholymallory03]

He doesn't like me lol. I don't like him either. My dad is the mean one and my mom is the nice one

Ahh okay… im sorry for my oversight.
absolutely ,please don't go anywhere more unsafe X

 

[Guy Smiley]

He doesn't like me lol. I don't like him either. My dad is the mean one and my mom is the nice one

Your dad sounds like an abusive psycho. I don't blame you for not liking him.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't talk to my dad and I didn't grow up with him. He lives overseas. I think he likes and treats me better because I'm the oldest and I've interacted with him more, but he's mad at my failure to launch into adulthood/the real world, and views me as a failure and a failed investment. He wanted me to go to med school and become a doctor.

He also got mad at me for talking back to and defying him when I saw him last summer. He got furious when I didn't want to go to breakfast (I couldn't get up due to jet lag and also wasn't hungry) and he said I was "going against the team" and "[didn't] have team spirit". He beat me with an umbrella until I turned black and blue, and forced me to go down to breakfast. The umbrella literally bent from it. He's very bossy and controlling. My sister didn't say anything; she just obeyed him and did what he said. He likes my sister because she's doing what she's supposed to (she's in college right now at an Ivy preparing to eventually go to law school)

Ah, narcissistic Asian dads. Always a delight. I especially love how no matter how old you are they'll resort to physical violence the moment you think to defy them.

 

[sserafim]

Ah, narcissistic Asian dads. Always a delight. I especially love how no matter how old you are they'll resort to physical violence the moment you think to defy them.

Don't forget the shouting and name-calling. Gotta love physical, verbal and emotional abuse