Venting I hate how fear of failure is trapping me in this existence

[sserafim]

I hate how I'm forced to live against my will because I'm scared of failing ctb. Every day feels like a purgatory for me. I'm stuck in a limbo between life and death. I'm trapped in this existence. I'm not truly living, nor do I want to anyways. I don't want to live anymore, but I'm scared to die. I honestly never wanted to live past 18, but I'm 23 now. I would attempt ctb if I were sure that I would succeed, but sadly, nothing is guaranteed in this world and things can always go wrong

 

[INTJme]

Your fear of failure isn't letting you ctb nor letting you launch into adulthood either. At some point, something's gotta give and chances are you'll likely have to learn to take responsibility for your life and be forced into fending for yourself. Now, the choice is up to you whether you want to stay put until shit hits the fan or start looking for possibilities where you don't find yourself at the mercy of your mom.

 

[Time4Peace]

Same here, suffering but can't pull the trigger yet.

 

[sserafim]

Your fear of failure isn't letting you ctb nor letting you launch into adulthood either. At some point, something's gotta give and chances are you'll likely have to learn to take responsibility for your life and be forced into fending for yourself. Now, the choice is up to you whether you want to stay put until shit hits the fan or start looking for possibilities where you don't find yourself at the mercy of your mom.

I don't want to launch into adulthood though. I wish I could've stayed a kid forever. I never even wanted to grow up anyways. Unfortunately, I was forced to by the passage of time. I don't want to have to take responsibility for my life and be forced into fending for myself. I'd honestly rather die. My biggest wish is to be a kid again. I hate being an adult. It's just so sad how I became one against my will. I wish that time could move backwards instead of forwards, and that I could go back to my childhood and re-live it. I hate how we're forced to get older and go into the future

 

[Time4Peace]

Well here it ain't gonna work, maybe on the other side!

 

[thenamingofcats]

It depends what you mean by adulthood. Once you get old enough no matter what you do or don't do you just feel like you're an adult due to life experience, even if you haven't done the things most people associate with being one: career, kids, owning xyz things, etc. Being of age gives you a lot of rights you don't have as a kid though, so that's good.

 

[momento.mori]

I

I hate how I'm forced to live against my will because I'm scared of failing ctb. Every day feels like a purgatory for me. I'm stuck in a limbo between life and death. I'm trapped in this existence. I'm not truly living, nor do I want to anyways. I don't want to live anymore, but I'm scared to die. I honestly never wanted to live past 18, but I'm 23 now. I would attempt ctb if I were sure that I would succeed, but sadly, nothing is guaranteed in this world and things can always go wrong

I definitely understand how you feel and you're not alone. I think that's the reason why most of us are still here..the fear of failure! It's not just failing its waking up alive with more problems then you had before. I always say, we can't live forever and some of us will get lucky and die young. Everyday is one less day you have to go, that's how I think about it. Suicide is overall a tough decision and once you finally make your mind up that you will do it, it still doesn't guarantee you eternal sleep. I'm sorry you have to feel this way.

 

[Red Moon]

I don't feel like I'm really living either and the fear of failure is also holding me back.