Venting I hate having unrequited feelings

[ggetout33]

So, I'm back here. I took some time off this site cause I felt like I wanted to live but now I want to vent.

I developed feelings for an online friend I've talked to for years (no this is not anyone on the forum, in case you're curious). She can tolerate me I guess, but the distance prevents us from doing anything. Logically the next step would be to move on to some girl I could interact with in person. But, what girl? I sure as shit don't see one. And the average 20 something I do find wouldn't touch my hairy autistic ass with a 10 foot pole. Just cause of the autism alone.

I tout myself as a non-believer in love, ever since I was 19. When the truth is, nowadays at 22 I wish I could love again, but I feel too damaged in the mind and soul to really feel and believe it.

What horrible shit did I do in a past life to deserve this fate?

Just take me to the next life already. I hate this curse. I'll be dead before I get any kind of interaction in person. DEAD.

 

[MeltingBrain]

But, what girl? I sure as shit don't see one. And the average 20 something I do find wouldn't touch my hairy autistic ass with a 10 foot pole. Just cause of the autism alone.

I'm no expert in this kind of thing, but I bet the most good looking guy on Earth has been rejected plenty of times. Just look at dating apps , the number of right swipes guys get is way lower than the ones girls with the same attractiveness level get. Guys have to keep trying.
I bet your autism causes a bit more problem than the average person . Have you considered dating someone with a similar condition ? That will dramatically increase your chances .