I hate getting older

[lilchonga]

Getting older isn't my primary reason for suicide. But the older I get, the more I lose hope that my life will improve. My reasons for wanting to kms are long and varied. Been depressed since I was a little kid, long traumatic history, etc.

More recently, my boyfriend said he only found 18-22 year olds attractive. That was a serious blow because my bf is pretty much the only person I have in my life. Without him, I'm pretty much alone. (I have a toxic/abusive family.) Now my relationship does not feel safe. I have no one else. I really don't have a reason to go on. I have my method. I'm just waiting for my little brother to graduate college before I pull the trigger.

 

[orca87]

More recently, my boyfriend said he only found 18-22 year olds attractive.

How much more years do you have on your clock? And how old is your bf?

 

[lilchonga]

How much more years do you have on your clock? And how old is your bf?

I'm 25. He is 27.

 

[freedompass]

That's not the nicest thing for him to say to you. Not only is it borderline creepy to only like younger girls, he's basically implying you aren't attractive. That's not a supportive partner IMO.

 

[absolomonisgone]

Getting older isn't my primary reason for suicide. But the older I get, the more I lose hope that my life will improve. My reasons for wanting to kms are long and varied. Been depressed since I was a little kid, long traumatic history, etc.

More recently, my boyfriend said he only found 18-22 year olds attractive. That was a serious blow because my bf is pretty much the only person I have in my life. Without him, I'm pretty much alone. (I have a toxic/abusive family.) Now my relationship does not feel safe. I have no one else. I really don't have a reason to go on. I have my method. I'm just waiting for my little brother to graduate college before I pull the trigger.

i don't know if you find my story interesting. i like talking about me. you know, i think nothing exists except me. even you. you are in my mind. so here we go. i was depressed even before birth. to cut a long story short..., life can turn out very interesting if you have a fixed date. my first serious attempt was at 16. whao. now that was something. then i decided i'd do it at 40. then shit happened and life happened. before i knew it i'm almost 50.., to be sure 1 October will be 50...., You won't get old. i know. I'm almost 50 but still feel ok..., chances are you won't feel old till maybe 70 or so. ..., i don't know, maybe i'm lucky,,,. never been to hospital...., BUT> MOST PEOPLE HAVE NEVER BEEN TO!. the media, movies, tv, etc, they lie to you. All. lies.

 

[Linda]

I'm 69. Some things actually get easier as you get older. I think it's the fact that you acquire more experience, and as a result you can see more options for coping.

 

[starrvingstar]

That's not the nicest thing for him to say to you. Not only is it borderline creepy to only like younger girls, he's basically implying you aren't attractive. That's not a supportive partner IMO.

i agree, you deserve a supportive partner who doesnt shame you for something natural. its a little creepy for him to claim to be into fresh adults as a almost 30 year old. make the most of every year as you age. its not a curse.

 

[lilchonga]

That's not the nicest thing for him to say to you. Not only is it borderline creepy to only like younger girls, he's basically implying you aren't attractive. That's not a supportive partner IMO.

It seems to be a common thing for men to prefer younger women. It's an uncomfortable thing about human nature it seems.

I don't necessarily want my life's purpose to be this relationship or any relationship for that matter. But I have no support system and feel so disabled by my depression it feels impossible to create one for myself. I want to abandon this relationship, but I feel too scared to be alone. I'd rather die.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally hate the thought of ageing as anyway all that we are destined for is to decay from old age, life is an incredibly futile process where human beings suffer all for the sake of it. The thought of very old age is something horrible to me, I believe that the human life expectancy is too long.

 

[leloyon]

I hate the concept of adulthood. I should have CTB at 14.

 

[81-Z@P@D]

Thats a rather abhorrent thing for your BF to say, unless it was a frank discussion about human attractiveness that seems like a red flag

 

[Sluggish_Slump]

Nature is hellish, I wish science would have already solved this problem of aging

 

[CTB Dream]

Thi life cncpt v awful ,time move move dtrioir thing age v awful cncpt see all worse illne worse body worse, more time pass mean deat come near prblm no peace time pass this cruel lif

 

[numbhouse]

My plan personally was to CTB when I was 18.... Then it changed from 18 to 20... Now here I am 6 months away from missing my current goal. Getting older sucks and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone else who hates going through it as much as I do.. Your current partner doesn't seem like a healthy fit for you, 27 and blurting out borderline predatory stuff like that in front of his own partner?? You certainly do deserve better than that.

 

[ChildrensITV]

I wonder if I can say this without being strawmanned.

All men, from those in their twenties to those who are fifty, want to date a woman in her early twenties. The most commonly chosen ages are 20-23. For almost every year in his thirties, a man is most attracted to a 20-year-old woman. And a 50-year-old man is really gunning for a 22-year old on his arm.Sep 24, 2015

Study Reveals the Age Men Find Women Most Attractive—And It’s Seriously Disturbing | YouBeauty

www.youbeauty.com

It's one of those things about human nature that is so taboo and uncomfortable that it doesn't get spoken about.

It seems perfectly fine for a woman to demand that a man be tall, goodlooking, keep his hair, have a good jawline and masculine frame, be a provider and protector, be confident, sociable, charming, socially adept, decent virility and performer, but if a man is hardwired to be attracted to adults who have the most youth and fertility, it means he is attracted to 1 year old babies. Men's sexuality is shamed. Funnily, when women enact "men's sexuality" - female teachers raping boys, e.g. an actual crime - it's not punished as hard.

Now, this doesn't really have anything to do with your boyfriend being inconsiderate and telling you that you will become less attractive to him after you age. That was uncalled for. I think it's pretty understood that, as couples grow together, they age and become less attractive. What keeps them together is their bond. It would be sad if that bond isn't enough to keep you together.

I will give him some benefit of the doubt. Maybe from his viewpoint NOW, it seems as if he is attracted only to that age-range but as he ages, it will expand a little? At least, his attraction for you specifically might outlive his 18-22 prediction.

How many people here are as outraged by earnings-gaps as they are by legal age-gaps?

Lastly, he can't help what he is attracted to but you will be able to find someone who is attracted to you, no matter what age you are. There are men out there that would be happy for a 30, 40, 50, 70 year old woman.

 

[SexyIncél]

I don't necessarily want my life's purpose to be this relationship or any relationship for that matter. But I have no support system and feel so disabled by my depression it feels impossible to create one for myself. I want to abandon this relationship, but I feel too scared to be alone. I'd rather die.

I don't know the context of why he said this. For example, if he felt wounded by your infatuation with how Tim rolls his r's, maybe this was his retaliation. Or If he's abusive, this is his way to devalue you, so he gains more power

If he's a straight up abuser, it's certainly fine to look for an alternative boyfriend even while you're still going out with him. Because the alternative is your death. If you do this, make sure he doesn't find out. Of course, I don't know if you have enough energy for this

Good luck. I hope you keep us updated