Venting i hate feeling judged for my mental health (half ventish post i guess??)

[colorlesshue]

tw// disordered body image and eating disorders
i dont want to die but i also don't want to keep existing, i feel so fucking ugly and fat and i know by all means at least scientificly and health wise im perfectly weighted but i cant stop feeling so fucking ugly and overweight and i hate not being able to voice it without feeling judged or wanting to share my writing based on how i cope and feeling like i cant even tell my girlfriend without being judged or it being seen as stupid i just hate almost everyone in general i guess tonight but that also might be because im just fucking going through it tonight idk im just fucking sad lmao
i tried to make it better but it won't stop being the worst

 

[carac]

I think sharing something like this can be a very good but also difficult test. Some people will judge you and some people won't, the former you don't need in your life so to hell with them. The latter are the ones you can rely on, the ones you can tell anything too, the ones you want to have in your life. It can be scary finding out who is who but often necessary.