I'm reluctant to admit it but find myself feeling this way more and more often. I try so goddamn hard to push through it, to be nice and kind and calm but nearly everything and everyone is just so damn horrible that it all seems to render my efforts utterly pointless.
At my worst, everything just winds me up as if it's placed there solely to annoy me, from the godawful people and stuff outside my house to the godawful people and stuff inside it. I only really like my husband and one of my two cats - the other one is an asshole. Everything and everyone else is pretty much kept at arms length for fear of it breaking past the barriers and hurting me, or pissing me off.
On the days where I can try to be optimistic and shrug off some off the crap, it just piles up gradually until I'm crushed underneath it again. If I let down those barriers for just a little while something sneaks in and maims me and I need to shut myself off from everything again out of fear, pain and revulsion.
Yay life.