Venting I hate empathy, I wish I was a psychopath

[KillingPain267]

I feel so guilty when I let someone down, or said something wrong. I fear how people react to me. I read that psychopaths don't even have social anxiety at all. Free of guilt and empathy I could just go leave everyone so I can be alone and do whatever I want.

 

[froggirl9000]

Nah, being devoid of empathy just means you'll never have real human connection.

 

[KillingPain267]

Nah, being devoid of empathy just means you'll never have real human connection.

Human connection destroyed me. It shattered my trust completely. I'd wish to be alone completely. But it makes me sad to think that my family will be sad if I leave.

 

[Dejected 55]

I don't think you can "want" to be a psychopath. I mean, being a psychopath means you wouldn't understand or experience any of that sort of emotion or connection to others. A psychopath doesn't want to be a psychopath... they don't know what it means to feel, so they don't know they want or don't want to be how they are. If you could "become" a psychopath by wishing it or taking a magic pill or whatever, the instant you became one you would cease having understanding of such things and it would be like you were a completely different person. It would be hard to argue that as that new version of yourself you would appreciate being that way.

 

[theboy]

You mean, not being so sensitive

 

[froggirl9000]

Human connection destroyed me. It shattered my trust completely. I'd wish to be alone completely. But it makes me sad to think that my family will be sad if I leave.

Not being able to form human connection does not equal not feeling loneliness.

 

[r.m.216]

I rank very low on empathy and it doesn't make life easy.

 

[KillingPain267]

I don't think you can "want" to be a psychopath. I mean, being a psychopath means you wouldn't understand or experience any of that sort of emotion or connection to others. A psychopath doesn't want to be a psychopath... they don't know what it means to feel, so they don't know they want or don't want to be how they are. If you could "become" a psychopath by wishing it or taking a magic pill or whatever, the instant you became one you would cease having understanding of such things and it would be like you were a completely different person. It would be hard to argue that as that new version of yourself you would appreciate being that way.

I know. I meant I wish I was born a psychopath.

 

[fallendevil]

Don't wish for that.

Yes hyper empathy sucks ass but radical apathy is hell, once you feel nothing you will literally suck satans firey spiky cock to feel something again.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

Understandable to not want to feel so much for everyone only for them to give 0 shits about you. But I think what you're describing is more akin to apathy/sociopathy

you will literally suck satans firey spiky cock to feel something again.

I have to talk to Satan for unrelated reasons, NOW!!!

 

[fallendevil]

Understandable to not want to feel so much for everyone only for them to give 0 shits about you. But I think what you're describing is more akin to apathy/sociopathy

I have to talk to Satan for unrelated reasons, NOW!!!

Honestly what helped me is radically hating.

It doesn't make sense but I started being more open about things I disliked and being a lot more critical of people I felt super bad for and it helped me balance out my hyper empathy and RSD

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

Honestly what helped me is radically hating.

It doesn't make sense but I started being more open about things I disliked and being a lot more critical of people I felt super bad for and it helped me balance out my hyper empathy and RSD

I'm kinda going like that too.

 

[Scythe]

Well, first of all, it is possible to self induce some level of sociopathy. I did that. Psychopathy is smth you're born with so purposfully induced psychopathy would sociopathy. You also need to be sure before you do this, I don't know for sure if this is reverisible because I haven't tried it.

I'm also not sure if just anyone can do it. I have a sample size of one, being me. I told myself I'm better off without feelings, better to never feel for humans. Told myself to be better, wanted to be better than what I was.

I recall the first step I took was being ready to be abandoned, expecting the worst from everyone, so I would be ready when they eventually left.

Then it developed itself further to simply not caring, about anyone, fueled by my growing hatered towards the world and humans. I believe the numbness that comes with depression also affected me.

I nailed in the final nail only recently. Now I truly don't care, I don't need anyone or want anyone's company anymore. I did this by self isolating and just telling myself not to care. Since this is basically the second time I did this, it was a relatively painless and quick process. (Took like a month)

Nah, being devoid of empathy just means you'll never have real human connection.

You can, you still can, you just can't love as a human love anymore. People just become entertainment, replaceable. like video games, movies, whatever, but entertainment can still have an impact on ppl. You can still be sad when a game or movie is discontinued, but it just won't hurt too much. You move on and find a replacement.

This is my experience at least.

 

[Pluto]

 

[KillingPain267]

Well, first of all, it is possible to self induce some level of sociopathy. I did that. Psychopathy is smth you're born with so purposfully induced psychopathy would sociopathy. You also need to be sure before you do this, I don't know for sure if this is reverisible because I haven't tried it.

I'm also not sure if just anyone can do it. I have a sample size of one, being me. I told myself I'm better off without feelings, better to never feel for humans. Told myself to be better, wanted to be better than what I was.

I recall the first step I took was being ready to be abandoned, expecting the worst from everyone, so I would be ready when they eventually left.

Then it developed itself further to simply not caring, about anyone, fueled by my growing hatered towards the world and humans. I believe the numbness that comes with depression also affected me.

I nailed in the final nail only recently. Now I truly don't care, I don't need anyone or want anyone's company anymore. I did this by self isolating and just telling myself not to care. Since this is basically the second time I did this, it was a relatively painless and quick process. (Took like a month)

You can, you still can, you just can't love as a human love anymore. People just become entertainment, replaceable. like video games, movies, whatever, but entertainment can still have an impact on ppl. You can still be sad when a game or movie is discontinued, but it just won't hurt too much. You move on and find a replacement.

This is my experience at least.

I wish to isolate completely, but what do you do about welfare checks, holding a job or pretending to heal or job hunt in order to collect welfare? I have to try to appear like I am okay or moving in the right direction and jump through hoops, otherwise I'll be homeless and starve or be institutionalized. When in reality I just wanna rot in my room and watch movies while doing drugs. But if I don't show up to appointments I get anxiety about ending up homeless or in a psych ward.

I knew you cats are psychopaths after seeing videos of cats eating their dead owners. But I still love cats.

 

[Scythe]

I wish to isolate completely, but what do you do about welfare checks, holding a job or pretending to heal or job hunt in order to collect welfare? I have to try to appear like I am okay or moving in the right direction and jump through hoops, otherwise I'll be homeless and starve or be institutionalized. When in reality I just wanna rot in my room and watch movies while doing drugs. But if I don't show up to appointments I get anxiety about ending up homeless or in a psych ward.

Uhhhhhhhh, that's out of my expertise. Well, suppose you just fake it till you make it? You can screw up job interviews by being honest. Like the corpo guys are stuck up their ass and shit, so if you tell them u're working for money they just might not hire you. Welfare checks just lie your ass out of them, holding a job is very likely to ruin your mental state.

 

[KillingPain267]

Uhhhhhhhh, that's out of my expertise. Well, suppose you just fake it till you make it? You can screw up job interviews by being honest. Like the corpo guys are stuck up their ass and shit, so if you tell them u're working for money they just might not hire you. Welfare checks just lie your ass out of them, holding a job is very likely to ruin your mental state.

Oh yeah, good point. Reminds me of the scene with Spud in the movie Trainspotting, haha.