KirbyLover
Professional Procrastinator
- Apr 14, 2025
- 16
Like I understand that she's mentally ill but she refuses to get treatment and starts being offended when I even mention the idea of it. My life has been hell with her as my mother, constantly walking on eggshells and I never know if she's in a good or bad mood. It's a constant cycle of her treating me like shit then switching up when I don't act the way she expects me to and becoming a perfect mother and blaming me for being a terrible child when she's such a "good mother" not to mention the insane victim complex, it never matters what I do she always has a problem with me, she's constantly undermining me and it's only been getting worse over the years, these past years she's become even more vicious and physical. I hate it, one minute she's threatening to kick me out and ship me to india for marriage and now she's making my favorite food because her "joke went to far"? idiocy, I wish I could just believe her and be ignorant to her cycles, and finally think my mom loves me, but I know that's not true, I can say with 100% honestly that this performance of being a good mother can only last so long, its like clockwork, a month of shitty treatment and then a week of golden behavior. Which is also why it was so hard for me to get help as a child because she was so good at acting like a perfect person that nobody though anything was wrong, no one ever listened to me, and I was too weak and stupid to even begin to even advocate for myself, and that fear still continues to this day, despite being 18 and ready to move out. As of right now she's wildly upset that i took her threat seriously, which of course I would, i've been kicked out on multiple occasions and have a history of running away to get away from her yet nobody ever believes me I just get hit with the "well she's still your mother" yeah a mother who has made my life hell. She says she's joking but I know she isn't, she's going to try and make me feel safe until she can manage a way to get me to india, today she was talking about booking tickets to dubai in october and I'm running out of time.
