Venting I hate change

[VampQueen]

I hate change. I want to be 16,17,18,19 again, any other age besides my current one. I want to be back in Highschool hating it. I want to come home from school and have my playstation waiting for me. I miss my highschool friends. I miss my first spychward experience and everyone telling me "oh you're so young". I miss being in the children's part of hospitals. I hate my current age, I hate growing up, I hate being an adult. I hate having responsibilities, bills and obligations. I miss my old houses, living with my siblings and step-dad. I miss sleeping over at my cousin's house and pulling all-nighters. I miss working at the animal shelter. These painful memories of the past haunt me. I cannot go on any longer, I don't want to go on anymore. I'm so lost in my current life. Everyone is leaving me and i'm all alone. Everyone ignores me until I'm about to attempt or i'm in the hospital.

 

[sserafim]

I hate change. I want to be 16,17,18,19 again. I want to be back in Highschool hating it. I want to come home from school and have my playstation waiting for me. I miss my highschool friends. I hate my current age, I hate growing up, I hate being an adult. I hate having responsibilities, bills and obligations. These painful memories of the past haunt me. I cannot go on any longer, I don't want to go on anymore. I'm so lost in my current life.

Same. Ever since I was a kid, I never wanted to grow up. I never wanted to become an adult and I think that it's honestly sad that I did. Nothing happens in the real world for the average person other than wageslavery and drinking on the weekends.

 

[derpyderpins]

I hate change. I want to be 16,17,18,19 again, any other age besides my current one. I want to be back in Highschool hating it. I want to come home from school and have my playstation waiting for me. I miss my highschool friends. I miss my first spychward experience and everyone telling me "oh you're so young". I miss being in the children's part of hospitals. I hate my current age, I hate growing up, I hate being an adult. I hate having responsibilities, bills and obligations. I miss my old houses, living with my siblings and step-dad. I miss sleeping over at my cousin's house and pulling all-nighters. I miss working at the animal shelter. These painful memories of the past haunt me. I cannot go on any longer, I don't want to go on anymore. I'm so lost in my current life. Everyone is leaving me and i'm all alone. Everyone ignores me until I'm about to attempt or i'm in the hospital.

Sorry you're having to go through this. It seems like what you are largely missing is the sense of community you had. (Cousins, siblings, friends, I assume coworkers at the animal shelter.). I hope you're able to find it again. People still say I'm so young at 31, which seems silly but it's all perspective.

Same. Ever since I was a kid, I never wanted to grow up. I never wanted to become an adult and I think that it's honestly sad that I did. Nothing happens in the real world for the average person other than wageslavery and drinking on the weekends.

What happens in the real world for kids that you miss? Or was it just the lack of wageslavery?

 

[sserafim]

What happens in the real world for kids that you miss? Or was it just the lack of wageslavery?

Freedom from responsibilities, demands and obligations. Work is modern day slavery and when you become an adult you'll be forced to become a slave to the system for the rest of your life just to survive. We're all brought into a state of modern day slavery and forced into this predatory capitalist pyramid scheme

 

[derpyderpins]

Freedom from responsibilities, demands and obligations

Gotcha. I think kids have too many responsibilities, personally. I guess it's because I played sports, but I was pretty much occupied all day a lot of the time, and weekends! I do miss the freedom to organize your own day in college.

 

[sserafim]

Gotcha. I think kids have too many responsibilities, personally. I guess it's because I played sports, but I was pretty much occupied all day a lot of the time, and weekends! I do miss the freedom to organize your own day in college.

I miss college life as well. I wish I could be in college forever

 

[derpyderpins]

I miss college life as well. I wish I could be in college forever

You had a STEM degree, right? Any path in research? I did research and got paid a couple of summers and it was definitely more "free" than a full time job.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

Life is dynamic - nothing stays in the same state and we can´t do anything about it.

 

[cowboypants]

I hate change. I want to be 16,17,18,19 again, any other age besides my current one. I want to be back in Highschool hating it. I want to come home from school and have my playstation waiting for me. I miss my highschool friends. I miss my first spychward experience and everyone telling me "oh you're so young". I miss being in the children's part of hospitals. I hate my current age, I hate growing up, I hate being an adult. I hate having responsibilities, bills and obligations. I miss my old houses, living with my siblings and step-dad. I miss sleeping over at my cousin's house and pulling all-nighters. I miss working at the animal shelter. These painful memories of the past haunt me. I cannot go on any longer, I don't want to go on anymore. I'm so lost in my current life. Everyone is leaving me and i'm all alone. Everyone ignores me until I'm about to attempt or i'm in the hospital.

I hated when our class rooms changed when we finished each grades but despite that I like travelling idk how this works but I like the sameness in everything

 

[fallingtopieces]

Gotcha. I think kids have too many responsibilities, personally. I guess it's because I played sports, but I was pretty much occupied all day a lot of the time, and weekends! I do miss the freedom to organize your own day in college.

think you're on to something there. it's like parents and education have been forced to submit to a capitalist worldview where kids are just future salaries, future workers out of fear. rather than developing more holistic humans better prepared for the next part of the journey. kids are overloaded with either responsibilities because parents have to work two jobs, they have to watch siblings, or even work to support the household to survive. and then the more well off kids get overloaded with tons of AP's and extra curriculars all to compete for the golden ticket of a better school, better job, more money, etc.. this system sucks.

 

[derpyderpins]

think you're on to something there. it's like parents and education have been forced to submit to a capitalist worldview where kids are just future salaries, future workers out of fear. rather than developing more holistic humans better prepared for the next part of the journey. kids are overloaded with either responsibilities because parents have to work two jobs, they have to watch siblings, or even work to support the household to survive. and then the more well off kids get overloaded with tons of AP's and extra curriculars all to compete for the golden ticket of a better school, better job, more money, etc.. this system sucks.

I think you hit on it more in the latter half. The parents don't necessarily adopt the worldview, but their circumstances (two full time jobs needed to support the family) force them into offloading the raising of their kids on whoever can take them.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I hate change too. I wish I could be forever unchanged via death. Only death suits me according to my neurotype