Venting I hate being so gullible and idiotic

[Versailles]

I'm an idiot, an imbecile, people take advantage of me or make fun of me for that. I feel like garbage, I wish they could hit me right now, I deserve it for being such an idiot, but I can only cut myself

I hate myself so much...

A person lied to me at least 3 times to take advantage of my naivety, I feel terrible

 

[piryohae3]

It's really too bad people are such pieces of shit. The system we live under encourages people to be selfish assholes. Kindness is seen as something to be taken advantage of. It sucks that we can't people's word at face value and have to filter them out to determine who is ok and who is a piece of shit.

 

[Kasumi]

Imo that makes you a nice person though.
It's through getting lied to and taken advantage of over and over by my immediate surroundings that I eventually learned not to trust people, lie whenever I need to, and thoroughly read and judge people to determine how far I should cooperate with them.
In short doing everything to protect myself first.

But that also means I'm not a nice person anymore.
I used to hate lying and pride myself in never telling a lie, now I lie easily as soon as I feel it necessary to protect myself.
Now I deceive people, presenting them precisely what they expect to avoid questions.
I present friendly and open to get them to be more cooperative while I am ready to drop them at a moment's notice.

It's not how I want to be and it's not how I really am at heart, but for me it's necessary to act that way to protect myself.
I don't like it, the more I have to lock away my true self and interact in the outside world the more I feel like I'm losing myself.

It sucks that people are taking advantage of your kindness and honesty, and I think that over time if that continues you'll learn to trust people less, but I really hope it doesn't get to that,.. it's not nice, not being able / allowed to be yourself anymore..

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

You spelled "kindhearted"and "giving" wrong.

 

[foreverfalling]

Innocence is precious, and the world will do anything to destroy it. It's not your fault the world sucks.

 

[whats_the_point]

It hurts to be taken advantage of but take some comfort in knowing that the people who took advantage of you spend their waking hours thinking about how to con people. They don't have any genuine relationships and their brains are occupied with nasty thoughts. You were kind and went into the situation with your best foot forward.