NoLoveNoHope
Mage
- Mar 25, 2023
- 566
I am disgusted by humanity and I hate being apart of this god-awful species. Sure you can find a few great people but that's just trying to be blissfully ignorant. I hate my "human responsibilities", I don't owe anyone anything. I hate how unaware and illogical humanity is, I've looked into many fallacies and manipulation techniques (because I was curious). All I could think is how utterly weak the human mind is to manipulation, propaganda or inserted-thoughts.
One of these thoughts is that 'life is worth living under any circumstance' which I despise, I hate nothing more than life and humanity. I've been abandoned, used and thrown away so many times. Most are insufferable, naive and egotistical. I can't blame anyone due it being the inner-workings of humanity, genes etc. I don't view myself as better then anyone just more aware. I'm just the same lump of flesh as everyone else, just as dumb, naive and egotistical which I can never hope to overcome.
Every time I opened up about my existential struggle everyone just told me to be ignorant - just give up 'self-awareness'. It's not the simple and I feel belittled.
Life itself is awful. Existing in a void - devoid of light, senses - just thought would be plainly considered torture, that is what I see life as. I can experience good things but that's utterly meaningless in the face of pure existential dread and mentally-induced torture. My mind is fighting against me, every time there's a chance to make me suffer it decides to.
I hate these 'responsibilities' I was forcefully gave and denied the right to give them up. I hate seeing how my right to choose life or not is denied everyday. I just have the question over and over of: "Why don't people get it?" I guess it's the way people are wired in a way to be ignorant and egotistical - deny that their stance is wrong. I see it everywhere, nobody wants change for the better - but to be right in their stance.
I think life is one of those stances, I see over and over how suicide isn't worth it but never explains why without any real objective reason on why that is. Why should I be denied this? Why is it so bad? I personally think it's just for personal gain for those who choose to live, they can use you when they're sad and throw you away - just like any other object.
I just hate everything about this life - humanity and the condition which I am forced to live in. I can't stand this any longer, I just want to be free of this burden.
Sorry for the long vent, I just wanted to get this out to someone who'd understand.
One of these thoughts is that 'life is worth living under any circumstance' which I despise, I hate nothing more than life and humanity. I've been abandoned, used and thrown away so many times. Most are insufferable, naive and egotistical. I can't blame anyone due it being the inner-workings of humanity, genes etc. I don't view myself as better then anyone just more aware. I'm just the same lump of flesh as everyone else, just as dumb, naive and egotistical which I can never hope to overcome.
Every time I opened up about my existential struggle everyone just told me to be ignorant - just give up 'self-awareness'. It's not the simple and I feel belittled.
Life itself is awful. Existing in a void - devoid of light, senses - just thought would be plainly considered torture, that is what I see life as. I can experience good things but that's utterly meaningless in the face of pure existential dread and mentally-induced torture. My mind is fighting against me, every time there's a chance to make me suffer it decides to.
I hate these 'responsibilities' I was forcefully gave and denied the right to give them up. I hate seeing how my right to choose life or not is denied everyday. I just have the question over and over of: "Why don't people get it?" I guess it's the way people are wired in a way to be ignorant and egotistical - deny that their stance is wrong. I see it everywhere, nobody wants change for the better - but to be right in their stance.
I think life is one of those stances, I see over and over how suicide isn't worth it but never explains why without any real objective reason on why that is. Why should I be denied this? Why is it so bad? I personally think it's just for personal gain for those who choose to live, they can use you when they're sad and throw you away - just like any other object.
I just hate everything about this life - humanity and the condition which I am forced to live in. I can't stand this any longer, I just want to be free of this burden.
Sorry for the long vent, I just wanted to get this out to someone who'd understand.