Venting i hate being dependant on her.

[YuanKinnie]

I have this friend that i have liked since last year, idk why, but she was very kind to me last year, although i didn't deserved it, I'm a horrible person.

I was in a vulnerable moment and I cried while being held by her, she brought me so much comfort and i realized weeks later that I was in love with her. But after some time, she just became distant, and at the same time, I became more dependant on her, every single time she does something good to me, even a single text from her gets me so happy.

Since January I've been trying to show her more affection and I just tried to change my personality so she could treat me like she did last year, but it didn't work, she just doesn't like me ig. I've also found out that one of my closest friends likes her, and I believe that she has a better chance to get with her than me. Today is her birthday, and I thought on writting a little text to her, just talking a bit about how much I appreciate her and how much I miss the way she treated me last year and she just responded "ok, thank you". I don't know how to feel, but, I'm crying a lot since I saw that, I can't stop, I don't know what to do. I love her so much it makes me wanna die, if she asks me to just dissappear i would, i hate feeling this way.

(this is my first post here, srry for my bad english lol)

 

[Traveller12724]

I have this friend that i have liked since last year, idk why, but she was very kind to me last year, although i didn't deserved it, I'm a horrible person.

I was in a vulnerable moment and I cried while being held by her, she brought me so much comfort and i realized weeks later that I was in love with her. But after some time, she just became distant, and at the same time, I became more dependant on her, every single time she does something good to me, even a single text from her gets me so happy.

Since January I've been trying to show her more affection and I just tried to change my personality so she could treat me like she did last year, but it didn't work, she just doesn't like me ig. I've also found out that one of my closest friends likes her, and I believe that she has a better chance to get with her than me. Today is her birthday, and I thought on writting a little text to her, just talking a bit about how much I appreciate her and how much I miss the way she treated me last year and she just responded "ok, thank you". I don't know how to feel, but, I'm crying a lot since I saw that, I can't stop, I don't know what to do. I love her so much it makes me wanna die, if she asks me to just dissappear i would, i hate feeling this way.

(this is my first post here, srry for my bad english lol)

Look it's normal to feel that way when you are in love with someone, it's overwhelming because how you feel largely depends on their reaction to you and you can't control it, your happiness is essentially in their hands and you are basically screwed if it is not mutual. I would advise you to accept the fact that it doesn't seem to be mutual and just pull back a little and find other things or someone else to focus on. You can't make someone who doesn't want you fall for you by begging them, it will only push them away and feel annoyed. It may be time to move on.

 

[YuanKinnie]

Look it's normal to feel that way when you are in love with someone, it's overwhelming because how you feel largely depends on their reaction to you and you can't control it, your happiness is essentially in their hands and you are basically screwed if it is not mutual. I would advise you to accept the fact that it doesn't seem to be mutual and just pull back a little and find other things or someone else to focus on. You can't make someone who doesn't want you fall for you by begging them, it will only push them away and feel annoyed. It may be time to move on.

Thank you for the advice, it's actually been bothering me a lot, i will try my best.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

That's a really painful situation to be in; it hurts to have your feelings not be reciprocated. Love can often end up with your emotions intertwined in someone else's hands. It hurts to feel that 'loss of control' that comes with this emotional dependency. The best thing you can do is orient your attention on other things you care about -- like hobbies and other friendships.

 

[Alex Fermentopathy]

I love her so much it makes me wanna die

Is it your real reason to come on this forum, or rather a figure of speech?

 

[YuanKinnie]

Is it your real reason to come on this forum, or rather a figure of speech?

It's one of the reasons, actually i've wanted to login since a long time now, but i just got to do it a few weeks ago, I guess the post is not that much of a deal, i know it too, I just wanted to express how I felt at that moment :)