I wish I had beauty. Unfortunately it's something completely out of a person's control, how beautiful they are. I think we both look at attractive women and wish we could have more of their naturally attractive and feminine features...
I'm sorry about all of the struggles you've faced from being born in the wrong body and with anti-lgbt people. I just don't get why people are so obsessed with what other people want for themselves for their bodies and sexualities.
Grass isn't always greener on the other side in terms of gender expectations. I certainly hear you and see how being expected to be strong and emotionless would be awful and I certainly wouldn't want that. By contrast, women are often faced with not being listened to or heard when it comes to leadership. Our ideas are not heard, and we do not matter. I've been laughed at and told I'm being stubborn and rude just for trying to speak up and contribute. Grass isn't a lot greener, but i agree here that it is easier to sit down and shut up like we're expected to rather than having to work to be a strong leader.
Being more "socially acceptable" to open up about emotions is a plus for women. Getting anyone to listen is near fucking impossible though, let alone actually having any helpful outcome. It can almost feel more isolating to pour your heart out to be met with silence and awkwardness, than to keep it all in. I have lost friends and relationships over being too open about emotions. In some ways, I envy that men don't have that problem of losing friends over emotions, though I recognize that it makes for surface-level connections. I have begged men to open up to me about things but they refuse. I wish they would, I want to understand, it would make things so much more straightforward.
This turned into an unhelpful ramble, sorry. I wish gender expectations were more equal and balanced overall.