i had an anxiety attack

[iori011x3]

i went to a local anime convention and i ended up collapsing and borderline passing out because of my anxiety. i cant really handle all the security because my anxiety spikes when i see them. it's cuz i was taken to the mental hospital and my 14hr experience was enough to traumatize me. it hurts so fucking much because as i laid on the floor, i realize my ex friends were across from me. i remember it so clearly because i stared in horror. they were filming a tiktok or something and i watched them turn around and stare. i couldnt see their expression but they left quickly. i wish they werent there. this was the last thing i wanted them to see. its the trauma THEY gave me because they were the ones who called the police on me to take me away. i just dont kniw what to do. jts still early into the con and i feel like dying or going home. everhthing fucking hurts so bad. i bet they think im attention seeking. i bet they think all the trauma they gave me is fake and unreal. i bet they cant stand me. i just want them to disappear from my life. theyve cahsed me so much pain. i dont know i really dont know i just need someone here right beside me irl. someone who can really understand everything jm going through because no one can handle me. im too fucking broken to empathize with.

 

[Kit1]

Dear iori011x3,

I am so sorry that you are feeling extremely sad, alone and broken. I am really sorry that you had that really terrible experience in the mental hospital and the 14 hour mess up - the entire experience sounds traumatic, painful and isolating. I am sorry that you went through all of that.

There is one point where I am notnsure whether your ex-friends let you down. They might have called the ambulance because they cared, wanted to make sure that you got some medical help and they genuinely might have be chllshocked and traumatised to see a friend go through what you were going through and might have left to give you some space. I am hoping that what I am assuming is right and perhaps you could reach out to them to see whether you could meet with them again.i am really sorry if I got it wrong, because that truly would be a awful situation for you to be in.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs. Take care.

 

[SexyIncél]

they were filming a tiktok or something and i watched them turn around and stare. [...] i bet they think im attention seeking.

Sorry to hear that! These tiktokers are projecting their own attention-seeking onto you. You're not too broken to empathize with, they're b0rken of basic human empathy

 

[iori011x3]

Dear iori011x3,

I am so sorry that you are feeling extremely sad, alone and broken. I am really sorry that you had that really terrible experience in the mental hospital and the 14 hour mess up - the entire experience sounds traumatic, painful and isolating. I am sorry that you went through all of that.

There is one point where I am notnsure whether your ex-friends let you down. They might have called the ambulance because they cared, wanted to make sure that you got some medical help and they genuinely might have be chllshocked and traumatised to see a friend go through what you were going through and might have left to give you some space. I am hoping that what I am assuming is right and perhaps you could reach out to them to see whether you could meet with them again.i am really sorry if I got it wrong, because that truly would be a awful situation for you to be in.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs. Take care.

thank you for providing a different perspective. i hope ill be able to recover enough to leave this site for good.

 

[UsagiDrop]

I'm sorry to hear this, Iori. That's definitely so much to deal with, especially in public and especially in the presence of your ex-friends when they are the ones that essentially triggered the series of events that caused you to be in this situation. What you're going through is real, and you're going to get through it eventually. You are not attention-seeking, and even if they think that, it really doesn't matter very much what they think. I know that it hurts you, but the version of you that lives in their heads only exists in their heads. You're the only person that knows the real you, so it should only matter what you think of yourself. Don't let your perception of their perception taint the image that you have of yourself!

I hope you're feeling a little relieved by now. Whether or not you continue to go to the con, I'm proud of you for getting through today. Don't be so hard on yourself, you deserve to get some rest and recover from the panic attack you had today. I hope that you were at least able to have a little bit of fun, or that you will have fun if you go to other days of the con. As always, my DMs are open for you if you need somebody to talk to.