i guess I'll try for now

[Tionally]

I'm going to write all my suicide letters tomorrow and order sn.

after that I'll probably leave ss for a while and try faking being happy. fake it till you make it right? I already feel extremely disconnected from myself and my life so I'll probably manage doing something if I force myself. university starts in few days and I'll pretend to be happy and productive and maybe over time I'll just become that. and maybe something great will happen?

and I'll always have a way out I suppose

 

[Inthewind]

faking till making it prob helps or works if you really try to belive. Good luck pink cat on your journy(cuz your profile :3)

 

[adrenalinejunkie]

I was so jacked up smoking cocaine I never even graduated 11th grade. I partially attended college for one semester and quit to start a business. I had bad social anxiety so school was never fun for me anyway. If I had it to do over I wish I would have stayed in school. If you have a choice maybe you can pick courses that are fun or interesting or even something you're passionate about. Sorry I don't know your situation and I'm just tossing some ideas. Hopefully the college experience will end up better than you expected. Best Wishes to you.

 

[Tulip<3]

I have found similar, that kind of putting off suicide has helped me and carrying on as best as I can, in that time I have become less suicidal and decided to stay, things have got a bit better since then. Sending you all the love and support, im really sorry you have been suffering

 

[NotToTouchTheEarth]

Hey, we don't know. Something extraordinary might happen. We might find love, or get better, or create the modern equivalent of the wheel. I'm right there with you. I know I have a way out whenever I decide to, so in the meantime, why not try ? I can't fake being happy cause I've never been trained to hide my emotions, but I can .... at least get out of bed. Let's see how it goes for us.

 

[am1485]

Fake it until you make it sometimes works. After high school when I was your age I was in the same boat. Depressed, suicidal, and having awful social anxiety. I almost didn't make it. But things actually slowly got better in college. At 36, things are shit again because I got sick and lost everything and now I'm suicidal again but honestly you never know what could happen post high school. Like you said something great can happen. And you'll always have the opportunity to commit suicide whenever you feel like it if things go south. Good luck at your university!