Venting i guess i dont have any friends anymore

[meddle]

i am 26f. and i had two close friends. we had been friends for years, but i guess we are not anymore

we dont keep in touch the way we used to. i know, after some time you dont communticate with your friends that much, but you still remain friends. but thats not my case. i want to communicate with my close ones everyday. i want to tell them about my life, to send funny memes, to talk about new stuff that i just learned... i want to communicate the whole time. note: i dont expect an instant answer. i know, other people have lifes. i just want them to answer me every day (when this is possible) and to warn me (when this is possible), that they cant answer now (because they have things to do, but everyrhing is allright. or that everything is not allright, and they dont have the strength or desire to communicate with me right now)

and what about two of my closest friends?

one has a tough period now. this tough period has been going on for some time, more than a few months. and she answers to me like once a week, once every two weeks... and this is not the style of communication that i need. i understand her, im not mad at her. but i began to write her less and less...

with the second one we try to communicate everyday. well i write something and she answers, when she has time and possibility. but we are always talking about me and my stuff, because she dont like to tell me about herself, she dont like to tell anyone about herself at all. and also one situation happened: she didnt respond for some time. i began to worry: what if something happened? and later i saw her story, she is on a trip to another town. why didnt she told me that? i wouldnt worry then, i would understand. well she doesnt like to tell anyone about herself... but she is ok with telling all of the internet about herself and posting pictures from her trip... why didnt she simply tell me "everything is ok, im on a trip, will answer later", so i wouldnt have to worry?

im actually devastated. this situation has made me feel that no one gives a fuck about me. even my friends dont give a fuck about me enough to simply communicate with me the way i need to. and if my friends dont give a fuck about me, then who else would? well i know that actually no one gives a fuck about anyone, you are the most important person in your life, blah blah blah. but i dont like myself. the only thing that keeps me going is my loved ones, the fact that they give a fuck about me and that they will suffer if i cbt. but now i see that they dont need me, dont care about me... so i dont really have a reason for keep going. i might as well kill myself. and this is a very sad and hopeless feeling

the only thing i have left is this stupid site with anonimous weirdos who want to kill themselfes. the only place where i can talk to someone, like really talk and get a real responce, idk... this is so sad and devastating

 

[SASU-KE]

but now i see that they dont need me, dont care about me... so i dont really have a reason for keep going. i might as well kill myself. and this is a very sad and hopeless feeling

It is a sad and hopeless feeling but not one to catch the bus over. There are other people who will reciprocate your feelings. Not everyone is the same. Good people are out there for you to befriend.

 

[meddle]

It is a sad and hopeless feeling but not one to catch the bus over. There are other people who will reciprocate your feelings. Not everyone is the same. Good people are out there for you to befriend.

where would i find new people? why would anyone new want to communicate with me if even my close friends dont want to do it? and what if i dont want someone new, i want them, my actual friends, the ones i already love and care about?

 

[SASU-KE]

why would anyone new want to communicate with me if even my close friends dont want to do it?

Because everyone is different. Other people might like you more than these people do because of chemistry. All relationships are not the same. For example, I have a friend and he has another friend. Me and that other friend don't have any common interests so we don't really spend time together. But we both spend a lot of time with our common friend.See how that works?

If you are fixated on these friends and they don't reciprocate there's nothing you can do.

 

[whywere]

Totally agree with @SASU-KE as not everyone is cut from the same cloth.

There are folks to befriend.

Walter

Real first name NOT anonymous ever.

 

[meddle]

Because everyone is different. Other people might like you more than these people do because of chemistry. All relationships are not the same. For example, I have a friend and he has another friend. Me and that other friend don't have any common interests so we don't really spend time together. But we both spend a lot of time with our common friend.See how that works?

If you are fixated on these friends and they don't reciprocate there's nothing you can do.

im not fixated on them well, maybe i am fixated, idk... but...

its like when someones pet die. and people tell them "just get yourself a new pet, there are lots of cats and dogs". but this person dont want a new pet, he want his pet, the one he loves...

i know there are lots of other people. but 1) its hard to get to know someone new. it gets harder and harder with each passing year... 2) i want them, my friends who are already close to me, not someone new, who even might be closer to me than they were

 

[SASU-KE]

im not fixated on them well, maybe i am fixated, idk... but...

its like when someones pet die. and people tell them "just get yourself a new pet, there are lots of cats and dogs". but this person dont want a new pet, he want his pet, the one he loves...

i know there are lots of other people. but 1) its hard to get to know someone new. it gets harder and harder with each passing year... 2) i want them, my friends who are already close to me, not someone new, who even might be closer to me than they were

No, I get it. I sympathize with you. I understand the feeling as well, I've had it myself. But The thing is,in this kind of relationship we're just at the whims and mercy of someone else. Which is not only not a good place to be, its just futile. At least a pet will love you unconditionally. Humans on the other hand can be pretty finicky.

Try to patch things up once, just once. If it still doesn't work out, then it's best to just move on.

 

[meddle]

No, I get it. I sympathize with you. I understand the feeling as well, I've had it myself. But The thing is,in this kind of relationship we're just at the whims and mercy of someone else. Which is not only not a good place to be, its just futile. At least a pet will love you unconditionally. Humans on the other hand can be pretty finicky.

Try to patch things up once, just once. If it still doesn't work out, then it's best to just move on.

yeah, i guess this is an only available option. im just very sad that we dont communicate the way we used to anymore... and this makes me feel that no one loves and needs me. and this feeling makes me want to ctb

thanks for your sympathy

 

[pax420]

It sucks loosing someone who you considered a friend l. But a true friend forgives. I have had three true friends in my life and I consider myself lucky to have them. One died about 16 years ago and the other moved to Missouri. I lost contact with him. C'est la vie. The other one was my girlfriend of 23 years. She died two years ago. I have probably had about 150 people who called me a friend. But when the drugs left so did they. If your friend was a true friend it will work itself out.

 

[meddle]

this is the end. i dont have my best friend anymore. all i fucking wanted was to tell me if something was wrong. all i fucking asked

 

[Daphne]

i am 26f. and i had two close friends. we had been friends for years, but i guess we are not anymore

we dont keep in touch the way we used to. i know, after some time you dont communticate with your friends that much, but you still remain friends. but thats not my case. i want to communicate with my close ones everyday. i want to tell them about my life, to send funny memes, to talk about new stuff that i just learned... i want to communicate the whole time. note: i dont expect an instant answer. i know, other people have lifes. i just want them to answer me every day (when this is possible) and to warn me (when this is possible), that they cant answer now (because they have things to do, but everyrhing is allright. or that everything is not allright, and they dont have the strength or desire to communicate with me right now)

and what about two of my closest friends?

one has a tough period now. this tough period has been going on for some time, more than a few months. and she answers to me like once a week, once every two weeks... and this is not the style of communication that i need. i understand her, im not mad at her. but i began to write her less and less...

with the second one we try to communicate everyday. well i write something and she answers, when she has time and possibility. but we are always talking about me and my stuff, because she dont like to tell me about herself, she dont like to tell anyone about herself at all. and also one situation happened: she didnt respond for some time. i began to worry: what if something happened? and later i saw her story, she is on a trip to another town. why didnt she told me that? i wouldnt worry then, i would understand. well she doesnt like to tell anyone about herself... but she is ok with telling all of the internet about herself and posting pictures from her trip... why didnt she simply tell me "everything is ok, im on a trip, will answer later", so i wouldnt have to worry?

im actually devastated. this situation has made me feel that no one gives a fuck about me. even my friends dont give a fuck about me enough to simply communicate with me the way i need to. and if my friends dont give a fuck about me, then who else would? well i know that actually no one gives a fuck about anyone, you are the most important person in your life, blah blah blah. but i dont like myself. the only thing that keeps me going is my loved ones, the fact that they give a fuck about me and that they will suffer if i cbt. but now i see that they dont need me, dont care about me... so i dont really have a reason for keep going. i might as well kill myself. and this is a very sad and hopeless feeling

the only thing i have left is this stupid site with anonimous weirdos who want to kill themselfes. the only place where i can talk to someone, like really talk and get a real responce, idk... this is so sad and devastating

I'm old and have seen people come and go throughout the years. Still in touch with a few friends I grew up with but they have families and realistically they have little time outside of work and family to socialize.
Work or college friends are just that, it's unusual to be as close knit after one leaves a job or college due to proximity or just not having much in common anymore.
People grow apart and then it's up to you to make new friends. I don't know where you are but here in the US at least for me, its common to meet like-minded people through mutual interest groups like meetup or peer support. And even then, its hard to get beyond acquaintanceship as people have partners that take up their time and/or just pickier about who they spend their time with.
So for me personally, I've learned to be content with my own company and like pets better than people. I socialize, sure, but I just don't get attached anymore.
People drifting apart is a normal human condition. Of course keep in touch with your friends but it sounds like you might want to invest your time into meeting new people who have time for you.

 

[SASU-KE]

So for me personally, I've learned to be content with my own company and like pets better than people. I socialize, sure, but I just don't get attached anymore.
People drifting apart is a normal human condition. Of course keep in touch with your friends but it sounds like you might want to invest your time into meeting new people who have time for you.

Well said,this is the way.

 

[the_calynite]

Starting from scratch is hell. I got no advice you cant already think of, I just want you to know i stand with you and that you are worthy of love.

 

[meddle]

Starting from scratch is hell. I got no advice you cant already think of, I just want you to know i stand with you and that you are worthy of love.

thanks. its just... i dont know if i can start from scratch again. if i want to. i was searching a relationship for several years. i dont want to look for friendship for several years as well. besides i dont really want new friends, i want my old ones back. and even if i find someone new, they might betray and leave me again

im so sad and tired

story about friendship

sorry for bothering you all again. just needed to get it out somehow. so fucking sick of me, venting here all the time its kinda hard to explain. im 26f, i had my best friend. or i thought that i had my best friend, idk anymore. we have known each other since 1 grade, became friends like when...

sanctioned-suicide.net

i actually vented on how the story continued in another thread. if anyone is interested

 

[the_calynite]

thanks. its just... i dont know if i can start from scratch again. if i want to. i was searching a relationship for several years. i dont want to look for friendship for several years as well. besides i dont really want new friends, i want my old ones back. and even if i find someone new, they might betray and leave me again

im so sad and tired

I grew up without friends so i didn't have much to lose, over the last 2 years i got close with a friend and i really felt we were through thick and thin. now we are much more separate and i just want to say i can empathize with you. It is not easy and i wish you could feel the love and peace that you are so desperate for. In the end that validation comes from within, and if you put in the work now, maybe a year from now you can be happy in that regard. While I know I cant replace anything, i hope you know you are welcome to find some sense of community with me!

i am 26f. and i had two close friends. we had been friends for years, but i guess we are not anymore

we dont keep in touch the way we used to. i know, after some time you dont communticate with your friends that much, but you still remain friends. but thats not my case. i want to communicate with my close ones everyday. i want to tell them about my life, to send funny memes, to talk about new stuff that i just learned... i want to communicate the whole time. note: i dont expect an instant answer. i know, other people have lifes. i just want them to answer me every day (when this is possible) and to warn me (when this is possible), that they cant answer now (because they have things to do, but everyrhing is allright. or that everything is not allright, and they dont have the strength or desire to communicate with me right now)

and what about two of my closest friends?

one has a tough period now. this tough period has been going on for some time, more than a few months. and she answers to me like once a week, once every two weeks... and this is not the style of communication that i need. i understand her, im not mad at her. but i began to write her less and less...

with the second one we try to communicate everyday. well i write something and she answers, when she has time and possibility. but we are always talking about me and my stuff, because she dont like to tell me about herself, she dont like to tell anyone about herself at all. and also one situation happened: she didnt respond for some time. i began to worry: what if something happened? and later i saw her story, she is on a trip to another town. why didnt she told me that? i wouldnt worry then, i would understand. well she doesnt like to tell anyone about herself... but she is ok with telling all of the internet about herself and posting pictures from her trip... why didnt she simply tell me "everything is ok, im on a trip, will answer later", so i wouldnt have to worry?

im actually devastated. this situation has made me feel that no one gives a fuck about me. even my friends dont give a fuck about me enough to simply communicate with me the way i need to. and if my friends dont give a fuck about me, then who else would? well i know that actually no one gives a fuck about anyone, you are the most important person in your life, blah blah blah. but i dont like myself. the only thing that keeps me going is my loved ones, the fact that they give a fuck about me and that they will suffer if i cbt. but now i see that they dont need me, dont care about me... so i dont really have a reason for keep going. i might as well kill myself. and this is a very sad and hopeless feeling

the only thing i have left is this stupid site with anonimous weirdos who want to kill themselfes. the only place where i can talk to someone, like really talk and get a real responce, idk... this is so sad and devastating

This might be harsh but i know people like this. if you want a straight up answer you seem to be struggling in other areas and are seeking an impossible standard of connection. It seems that the friend that listens but doesn't open up isn't very interested in the sort of friendship you are looking for, which im sure you are aware. You seem to have pretty severe anxiety in regard to attatchment, truthfully, friends dont like being demanded around. If they want to answer every day, they will.