I got approved for VAD in Switzerland. Now being asked for when I want to come. It feels very weird setting a date for my death. I wonder if I'll have a panic attack on the airplane or the night before at the hotel.
Going to buy a little more time first so I can think this over and mentally be prepared.
My psychiatrist and therapist are both telling me to hold on and see if my conditions improve. I've been suffering almost 9 months as a result of a series of very unlucky psychiatric medication malpractices which turned me from someone that had moderate sleep anxiety to someone with severe anxiety, depression, and insomnia along with suicidal ideation. I've done a lot of medications and treatments which just seem to only make things worse. The last treatment I had was TMS and I've been experience this intense tension headache everyday from morning until evening when I take some ambien to help shut it off. Apparently its a side effect of TMS that is caused by the muscles in my skull, however they do not know when it will go away which is unsettling. This has been going on for a month and a half now and It's pretty debilitating and unpredictable as the pressure will go to different parts of my head and sometimes get randomly worse. Also been having a lot of noise coming out of my stomach/gut during this time as well. Right now I'm just still hanging on and seeing if it will get better soon. Otherwise I'll probably take that flight. It's not how I would want my life to end but unfortunately tragedies happen and I am one of the unlucky ones.
Going to buy a little more time first so I can think this over and mentally be prepared.
My psychiatrist and therapist are both telling me to hold on and see if my conditions improve. I've been suffering almost 9 months as a result of a series of very unlucky psychiatric medication malpractices which turned me from someone that had moderate sleep anxiety to someone with severe anxiety, depression, and insomnia along with suicidal ideation. I've done a lot of medications and treatments which just seem to only make things worse. The last treatment I had was TMS and I've been experience this intense tension headache everyday from morning until evening when I take some ambien to help shut it off. Apparently its a side effect of TMS that is caused by the muscles in my skull, however they do not know when it will go away which is unsettling. This has been going on for a month and a half now and It's pretty debilitating and unpredictable as the pressure will go to different parts of my head and sometimes get randomly worse. Also been having a lot of noise coming out of my stomach/gut during this time as well. Right now I'm just still hanging on and seeing if it will get better soon. Otherwise I'll probably take that flight. It's not how I would want my life to end but unfortunately tragedies happen and I am one of the unlucky ones.
