I get bullied everywhere because I am ugly

[Wanting2go]

I get bullied in real life and on forums. Everywhere people mock me because I am ugly and thus not worthy to be loved
I want to die

 

[ssaaahmo]

I've been bullied for being ugly too
the people who bully you are shitty and i know how much it hurts

 

[any%]

Most people that mock and mob other people dont deserve to be even acknowleged. What is even ugly or normal or beautiful? True beauty really lies in the eyes of the beholder. Or are we talking about standardised beauty norms made up by society? Sure, then there is ugly, moderate, nice and beautiful and everything in between, but that does not make it important. As long as you dont hurt anyone else you deserve to be loved and treated with respect and dignity. I would hate to think that you`d kill yourself because some idiots judge you in a superficial way!

I have personal experience with getting mobbed and it does hurt terribly and can make you crumble and lose all faith, but it simply is not worth it to lose one's mind about what other people think or say about you.

I want you to understand one thing: You are unique and you should be yourself, just the way you are. Then you can offer something so special to this world and the people around you. Because who can be you but you? Dont let your fate get decided by stupid people that judge you over stupid looks. I want you to respect yourself by ignoring these idiots as good as you can. I dont know you, but I sure hope you stick around. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. I am here for you! F*ck the bullies. Love to you from me!

 

[Living sucks]

You are not bullied here. But you need to be open to the responses you receive And not continuously shoot everyone's kind words down and only respond selectively to say the same things over and over.

 

[Oyoy]

Homies NOT ugly!!!! Far from it.

 

[4eyebiped]

Don't feel too bad. I am so ugly I even bully myself...

Keep in mind, most people who bully pick you, not because you are what they say you are, they pick you because you react to them. This gives them the power they seek. They jiggle your emotional strings and if you react they sink their talons into your emotional soul and begin ripping away. People don't bully or troll people who ignore them. Bullies have issues and they need that sense of control.

Don't give them that control. I know it is easier said than done but work towards it. Listen to what the people you actually care about say. Bullies have no value and offer nothing useful to this world in any form. Their opinions simply should not have value.

 

[K-O]

right kid- so this is what?.. your 4th thread about you being ugly\disfigured and bullied?..
and never responding to supportive feedback or others experience and pain?..
so the issue is or you have - "body dysmorphic disorder" which is real and if you want help for seek it via therapy? groups? and talk about it? etc..
or it is an obsession of some other kind?.. and the bulling part of it is getting blurred.. are you bulling yourself?.. users here by manipulations?.. is this a cry for help? or do you need to get deflowered?.. are you bored?.. do you want help?.. everyone who has seen your pictures said you are totally normal.. and that wont change no matter how many times you will ask..
whats the deal yo?..
if you continue not responding to us than you are clearly not ugly.. and you can take it easy :)

 

[Wanting2go]

right kid- so this is what?.. your 4th thread about you being ugly\disfigured and bullied?..
and never responding to supportive feedback or others experience and pain?..
so the issue is or you have - "body dysmorphic disorder" which is real and if you want help for seek it via therapy? groups? and talk about it? etc..
or it is an obsession of some other kind?.. and the bulling part of it is getting blurred.. are you bulling yourself?.. users here by manipulations?.. is this a cry for help? or do you need to get deflowered?.. are you bored?.. do you want help?.. everyone who has seen your pictures said you are totally normal.. and that wont change no matter how many times you will ask..
whats the deal yo?..
if you continue not responding to us than you are clearly not ugly.. and you can take it easy :)

I get bullied so much you do not understand the pain I go through. I went on a plastic surgery forum and they said I should kill myself I am so ugly. Every living moment I have is pain because my face is ugly. I have had sex in the past but now no one wants me

Don't feel too bad. I am so ugly I even bully myself...

Keep in mind, most people who bully pick you, not because you are what they say you are, they pick you because you react to them. This gives them the power they seek. They jiggle your emotional strings and if you react they sink their talons into your emotional soul and begin ripping away. People don't bully or troll people who ignore them. Bullies have issues and they need that sense of control.

Don't give them that control. I know it is easier said than done but work towards it. Listen to what the people you actually care about say. Bullies have no value and offer nothing useful to this world in any form. Their opinions simply should not have value.

It is easier said than done and I thank you for your post. I really appreciate the effort you made to reach out to me but I fear the damage is done

 

[LastFlowers]

It's pretty amazing that one cannot even find solace on a suicide forum. Of all things, in this society, you would think people would understand the absolute tragedy that is being unattractive in this world. It colors everything.

On a social level, on a personal level, you have to be comfortable in your own skin in order to survive, in order to be a person, to be yourself. Many people simply cannot BE, because they are utterly trapped by their bodies. Whether it is severe physical pain or deterioration, becoming paralyzed, being violated/assaulted, or being physically unattractive...there is an inherent discomfort, a need for dissociation that comes along with these things. One wants to "get out" of their body, get out from behind their face, be free.

And isn't that what all suicidal people want? With all the unbearable pain and suffering,
To escape?

Why then, some of this dismissive commentary I see on this post? And many posts like it. Though tbh the comments here are mild compared to others I've seen in the past on this site and elsewhere.
(Half the reason I haven't made an appearance on this forum for awhile now.)
The blaming of OP for not accepting "kind words"...how is one defining kindness in this scenario?
...
The way I usually see it happen is people say lies to the one struggling with these issues, platitudes, they minimize, they gaslight, they give their 'inspirational hit and runs' whilst patting themselves on the back, they persecute the afflicted for simply being a victim of the absolutely, undeniably destructive and uncontrollable circumstance that is "being ugly". (Christ's sake, even average looking people lose a leg up in this society.)

It's disgusting, unhelpful, and it needs to stop. I've had enough of it. It doesn't belong in the every man's world and it certainly has no place in this tiny desperate corner of the Internet, where people make their last stop for understanding before they end their lives.
OP's issue is a very valid one for wanting to ctb, I don't know how anyone who lives in the same world I do could see it any other way.

OP, I am so sorry you are suffering and that you were given this burden to bear. I will not lie to you and say that looks are not important because unfortunately they are. People can deny it all they want, it's the reality that always has been, and likely always will be. And if you are the type of person who ends up on the shit side of things, if you are the kind of man or woman who just cannot accept such a disturbingly unfair aspect of life..I understand. It is perfectly and wholly understandable.

Humans are rotten to the core and even without their insulting commentary, an unattractive person will always be treated differently...romantically, platonically, by family, in the job sphere, everything, everywhere, by everyone. Only those who have dealt with it themselves, who suffer as you do, and who have had their eyes forced open to this god awful experience can appreciate its magnitude. As goes it with most things.

Personally, I don't know what that other person commenting to was referring to when they said you need to be open to the responses you receive and stop continuously doing this or that. I have not been on here in a awhile, but I can only guess you won't-then or now-get far on this site (or anywhere else) when speaking about this particular reason for wanting to CTB. Once in awhile maybe, I've gotten a couple of pm's from people who truly "get it", but I've even neglected to respond to them because overall this site has become no more a safe haven than anywhere else. Not where THIS is concerned.

..Even just that thread recently about someone feeling more sorry for the "beautiful people" that have commited suicide than the "others ones" or whatever they were on about...made me physically sick. And the comments..wtf.
There are people who are actually attractive trying to convince unattractive people they're actually better off...if I could, I would laugh. Genuinely laugh. (Fortunately for them I am too busy having a daily mental break down.)
Anyone who wants to make being attractive into a problem has a pretty easy solution, let me tell you, there are plenty of guaranteed ways to make oneself hideous. There are plenty of outs for someone who actually believes that. The thing is, they don't believe it and would never actually give that up because they are full of it.

And let me also tell you this, the amount of outstandingly hypocritical individuals I encounter-or witness-when trying to discuss this subject...just blows my mind. Look at all the reasons one can have for killing themselves, do you know how many I would trade my issues for, in order to live? Most, if not all.

But I am not them and they are not me, so I try my best to hold my tongue, as an invalid reason for myself, may be completely valid for someone else. Unfortunately, I have had to curb my expectation of receiving the same courtesy where my own reasons are concerned. (Which are closely in line with yours.)
The irony in some of my own responses I've received...grating, nerve exploding, hair pulling levels of ridiculous.
I've had someone on here go on a virtue mission of a multiple response rant to me about how I just need to find people who will not judge my appearance and this and that and how they were nice to an ugly person once or something (lmao what), while simultaneously, in the same response-if I am remembering correctly-quoting another member to comment and fuss on about how physically attractive they were. That's right, trying to dismiss to me, the significance of looks, while in the same breath, foaming at the mouth to creepily compliment another attractive user's appearance. You can't make this shit up.

I've had another user on here pull up all my previous posts when I was a fresh member, mock me, and try to invalidate my fair criticisms of their whole dogma, simply because I was "ugly and jealous" of their good looks. I believe their exact words were something about how I'm just mad that they have the one thing I don't. Which besides being cruel, is just untrue, as I have plenty of other issues, lack and have lost plenty of other things in life, things I have to deal with that would probably put that guy in the grave. It just so happens that being unattractive is the one that will kill me and the one that has caused the domino effect that led me here.

My long winded point is: a lot -NOT ALL-people on here can be just as much of a bully as anyone else, whether it is intentional or not.
And you may not get the kind of response that is actually warranted for this type of situation. Which is, without a doubt, Hell on Earth.

As for me, I can't be here anymore, I am so tired, if I had a gun, I would be gone by now. I've only come back here because I've got to find a way out that will not leave me worse off than now. You know what they say, either get busy living or get busy dying. And I'm out. I just wish I was a little more impulsive and less of a thinker when it came to this type of thing. I am just so worried about becoming a brain dead vegetable and losing the last piece of dignity and control I have left. I won't be able to hide, I won't be able to protest, I will likely be wheeled around and experience a whole new degree of humiliation that I've been trying to avoid by isolating all these years. It's a big risk. If there's one thing I have learned, it's that even when you are at death's door, things can always get worse.

Not to mention I can't even trust anyone in my life to respect my wishes no matter how hard I try. If they can't even grasp the reason for ending my life then how could they grasp the reasons for any postmortem requests. No announcement, no obituary, no wake, no funeral. Just toss me in the oven and throw me to the wind.

There is no peace to be had in this, it's just a mess of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Too much time has past and too much has happened to even try to physically fix the problems. I can't go back in time.
It's over for me. You have to decide if it's over for you too, how vital this is to you personally, or if there's any way you can turn your physical predicament around. Though I am guessing there isn't if you ended up here. I know it can be quite the feat when it's something that simple will-power and effort alone cannot change. That's the reason most people will turn the issue into a mental problem, make it your fault, it's because they know the odds of solving the actual core issue-physically-are bleak. So brain washing is the next best step I guess (definitely not).

I know the pain you feel OP.
I claw myself in my sleep because I try to escape this hell in my dreams, in my nightmares.
In my life I have been mocked and bullied in person, online, behind my back, in public with a large group of people. I am a woman that has had her gender questioned by a group of snickering girls. I have had children run from me-sticking their tongues out and calling me ugly and gross just for standing there. Just for existing. I have had a group of people make gagging and puking noises at me, stand up and act as if they were having a conniption fit just because I walked past them, dehumanizing me.

Even those who mean well find ways to insult me or grow a superiority complex around my existence. When I walk into a room, I make everyone else feel better about themselves.
And I am supposed to be okay with this? According to many, I am.
My family has no interest in me as a human being. The one person who does, my mother, has only a half-interest, a fraction of an investment in a suffering individual such as myself.
And even I, who lack that seemingly fundamental need for romantic or sexual relationships..even without desiring that-which usually seems so directly tied to this issue for others-I still am SO affected and destroyed by this for my own individual reasons. For just wanting to be me, to be free.
For simply wanting to look like the me that coincides with who I was meant to be, with what I feel I was meant to do or accomplish in life. (And I mean that in a 'potential' type of way, not a 'destiny or fate' way.)

I cannot filter myself through this prison any longer. I will not accept this, when I end my life, that will be the only thing I ever did that was truly a move made by ME, saying "No" to the hand I have been dealt, saying enough is enough, I do not accept, I will not suffer in silence in the wake of other's happiness, I will not be told that this is not a good enough reason to end my hellish time on this earth, I am done.

It is not about "letting people get to you" or anything like that. It goes so much deeper than that, it affects so much. Hell, even if I was the last person on earth, it would haunt me.
Telling someone who is objectively not attractive ( and yea, I hate to break it to anyone, but there is a science of aesthetics and a vast objective standard of attractiveness..it is not "made up")
that they're offing themselves all because someone was mean or superficial to them is simplifying the issue gravely, and kind of a twisted way of laying the fault on the person suffering. It's not just about losing your mind over what other people say about you or do to you (which.. actually, IS a valid reason to lose one's mind), it's about having your very essence of self suffocated by your own skin. It is about having some piece of meat, flesh and bone-that you do not identify with-called by your name, forced on you to be addressed by, to be seen through.
At least, that's how it is for me.

Staying away from people who will mock me has not removed my ability to suffer with looking like this.
..yea, sure, in truth it is wrong that it should make up your worth to the outside world (although I don't think it is wrong to want to be comfortable with your body and face on a personal level) and it is not the only important thing in life..but it can be a vital thing, and as I have said before to make a comparison: we have more than one vital organ, we need more than one, but all it takes is ONE to meet its doom to ensure a person dies. You need all these parts to live but only have to lose one for it to kill you.

 

[gymletethnicel]

I can 100% relate. People always look at me and called me names, they would mock me as if I was missing a limb. There were times I'd get beat up and had to stand back up again.

I've noticed that girls especially mocked me for my looks, it's like they hated me from my toes to scalp because of my genetics.

What is even ugly or normal or beautiful? True beauty really lies in the eyes of the beholder.

You really try to make him feel better, but this is not how reality works. A tall handsome white man will always be more respected than an ugly 5'2" Indian. No matter what they have done. The Indian could be an architect and humble guy, while the tall white guy could be a child rapist.

The short Indian guy will still get less respect. That's how reality works. Your looks determine how you are treated. Who you are on the inside and your personality mean nothing.

 

[yearsandyears]

It's pretty amazing that one cannot even find solace on a suicide forum. Of all things, in this society, you would think people would understand the absolute tragedy that is being unattractive in this world. It colors everything.

On a social level, on a personal level, you have to be comfortable in your own skin in order to survive, in order to be a person, to be yourself. Many people simply cannot BE, because they are utterly trapped by their bodies. Whether it is severe physical pain or deterioration, becoming paralyzed, being violated/assaulted, or being physically unattractive...there is an inherent discomfort, a need for dissociation that comes along with these things. One wants to "get out" of their body, get out from behind their face, be free.

And isn't that what all suicidal people want? With all the unbearable pain and suffering,
To escape?

Why then, some of this dismissive commentary I see on this post? And many posts like it. Though tbh the comments here are mild compared to others I've seen in the past on this site and elsewhere.
(Half the reason I haven't made an appearance on this forum for awhile now.)
The blaming of OP for not accepting "kind words"...how is one defining kindness in this scenario?
...
The way I usually see it happen is people say lies to the one struggling with these issues, platitudes, they minimize, they gaslight, they give their 'inspirational hit and runs' whilst patting themselves on the back, they persecute the afflicted for simply being a victim of the absolutely, undeniably destructive and uncontrollable circumstance that is "being ugly". (Christ's sake, even average looking people lose a leg up in this society.)

It's disgusting, unhelpful, and it needs to stop. I've had enough of it. It doesn't belong in the every man's world and it certainly has no place in this tiny desperate corner of the Internet, where people make their last stop for understanding before they end their lives.
OP's issue is a very valid one for wanting to ctb, I don't know how anyone who lives in the same world I do could see it any other way.

OP, I am so sorry you are suffering and that you were given this burden to bear. I will not lie to you and say that looks are not important because unfortunately they are. People can deny it all they want, it's the reality that always has been, and likely always will be. And if you are the type of person who ends up on the shit side of things, if you are the kind of man or woman who just cannot accept such a disturbingly unfair aspect of life..I understand. It is perfectly and wholly understandable.

Humans are rotten to the core and even without their insulting commentary, an unattractive person will always be treated differently...romantically, platonically, by family, in the job sphere, everything, everywhere, by everyone. Only those who have dealt with it themselves, who suffer as you do, and who have had their eyes forced open to this god awful experience can appreciate its magnitude. As goes it with most things.

Personally, I don't know what that other person commenting to was referring to when they said you need to be open to the responses you receive and stop continuously doing this or that. I have not been on here in a awhile, but I can only guess you won't-then or now-get far on this site (or anywhere else) when speaking about this particular reason for wanting to CTB. Once in awhile maybe, I've gotten a couple of pm's from people who truly "get it", but I've even neglected to respond to them because overall this site has become no more a safe haven than anywhere else. Not where THIS is concerned.

..Even just that thread recently about someone feeling more sorry for the "beautiful people" that have commited suicide than the "others ones" or whatever they were on about...made me physically sick. And the comments..wtf.
There are people who are actually attractive trying to convince unattractive people they're actually better off...if I could, I would laugh. Genuinely laugh. (Fortunately for them I am too busy having a daily mental break down.)
Anyone who wants to make being attractive into a problem has a pretty easy solution, let me tell you, there are plenty of guaranteed ways to make oneself hideous. There are plenty of outs for someone who actually believes that. The thing is, they don't believe it and would never actually give that up because they are full of it.

And let me also tell you this, the amount of outstandingly hypocritical individuals I encounter-or witness-when trying to discuss this subject...just blows my mind. Look at all the reasons one can have for killing themselves, do you know how many I would trade my issues for, in order to live? Most, if not all.

But I am not them and they are not me, so I try my best to hold my tongue, as an invalid reason for myself, may be completely valid for someone else. Unfortunately, I have had to curb my expectation of receiving the same courtesy where my own reasons are concerned. (Which are closely in line with yours.)
The irony in some of my own responses I've received...grating, nerve exploding, hair pulling levels of ridiculous.
I've had someone on here go on a virtue mission of a multiple response rant to me about how I just need to find people who will not judge my appearance and this and that and how they were nice to an ugly person once or something (lmao what), while simultaneously, in the same response-if I am remembering correctly-quoting another member to comment and fuss on about how physically attractive they were. That's right, trying to dismiss to me, the significance of looks, while in the same breath, foaming at the mouth to creepily compliment another attractive user's appearance. You can't make this shit up.

I've had another user on here pull up all my previous posts when I was a fresh member, mock me, and try to invalidate my fair criticisms of their whole dogma, simply because I was "ugly and jealous" of their good looks. I believe their exact words were something about how I'm just mad that they have the one thing I don't. Which besides being cruel, is just untrue, as I have plenty of other issues, lack and have lost plenty of other things in life, things I have to deal with that would probably put that guy in the grave. It just so happens that being unattractive is the one that will kill me and the one that has caused the domino effect that led me here.

My long winded point is: a lot -NOT ALL-people on here can be just as much of a bully as anyone else, whether it is intentional or not.
And you may not get the kind of response that is actually warranted for this type of situation. Which is, without a doubt, Hell on Earth.

As for me, I can't be here anymore, I am so tired, if I had a gun, I would be gone by now. I've only come back here because I've got to find a way out that will not leave me worse off than now. You know what they say, either get busy living or get busy dying. And I'm out. I just wish I was a little more impulsive and less of a thinker when it came to this type of thing. I am just so worried about becoming a brain dead vegetable and losing the last piece of dignity and control I have left. I won't be able to hide, I won't be able to protest, I will likely be wheeled around and experience a whole new degree of humiliation that I've been trying to avoid by isolating all these years. It's a big risk. If there's one thing I have learned, it's that even when you are at death's door, things can always get worse.

Not to mention I can't even trust anyone in my life to respect my wishes no matter how hard I try. If they can't even grasp the reason for ending my life then how could they grasp the reasons for any postmortem requests. No announcement, no obituary, no wake, no funeral. Just toss me in the oven and throw me to the wind.

There is no peace to be had in this, it's just a mess of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Too much time has past and too much has happened to even try to physically fix the problems. I can't go back in time.
It's over for me. You have to decide if it's over for you too, how vital this is to you personally, or if there's any way you can turn your physical predicament around. Though I am guessing there isn't if you ended up here. I know it can be quite the feat when it's something that simple will-power and effort alone cannot change. That's the reason most people will turn the issue into a mental problem, make it your fault, it's because they know the odds of solving the actual core issue-physically-are bleak. So brain washing is the next best step I guess (definitely not).

I know the pain you feel OP.
I claw myself in my sleep because I try to escape this hell in my dreams, in my nightmares.
In my life I have been mocked and bullied in person, online, behind my back, in public with a large group of people. I am a woman that has had her gender questioned by a group of snickering girls. I have had children run from me-sticking their tongues out and calling me ugly and gross just for standing there. Just for existing. I have had a group of people make gagging and puking noises at me, stand up and act as if they were having a conniption fit just because I walked past them, dehumanizing me.

Even those who mean well find ways to insult me or grow a superiority complex around my existence. When I walk into a room, I make everyone else feel better about themselves.
And I am supposed to be okay with this? According to many, I am.
My family has no interest in me as a human being. The one person who does, my mother, has only a half-interest, a fraction of an investment in a suffering individual such as myself.
And even I, who lack that seemingly fundamental need for romantic or sexual relationships..even without desiring that-which usually seems so directly tied to this issue for others-I still am SO affected and destroyed by this for my own individual reasons. For just wanting to be me, to be free.
For simply wanting to look like the me that coincides with who I was meant to be, with what I feel I was meant to do or accomplish in life. (And I mean that in a 'potential' type of way, not a 'destiny or fate' way.)

I cannot filter myself through this prison any longer. I will not accept this, when I end my life, that will be the only thing I ever did that was truly a move made by ME, saying "No" to the hand I have been dealt, saying enough is enough, I do not accept, I will not suffer in silence in the wake of other's happiness, I will not be told that this is not a good enough reason to end my hellish time on this earth, I am done.

It is not about "letting people get to you" or anything like that. It goes so much deeper than that, it affects so much. Hell, even if I was the last person on earth, it would haunt me.
Telling someone who is objectively not attractive ( and yea, I hate to break it to anyone, but there is a science of aesthetics and a vast objective standard of attractiveness..it is not "made up")
that they're offing themselves all because someone was mean or superficial to them is simplifying the issue gravely, and kind of a twisted way of laying the fault on the person suffering. It's not just about losing your mind over what other people say about you or do to you (which.. actually, IS a valid reason to lose one's mind), it's about having your very essence of self suffocated by your own skin. It is about having some piece of meat, flesh and bone-that you do not identify with-called by your name, forced on you to be addressed by, to be seen through.
At least, that's how it is for me.

Staying away from people who will mock me has not removed my ability to suffer with looking like this.
..yea, sure, in truth it is wrong that it should make up your worth to the outside world (although I don't think it is wrong to want to be comfortable with your body and face on a personal level) and it is not the only important thing in life..but it can be a vital thing, and as I have said before to make a comparison: we have more than one vital organ, we need more than one, but all it takes is ONE to meet its doom to ensure a person dies. You need all these parts to live but only have to lose one for it to kill you.

TL;DR,

Looks are not all that important. I genuinely believe that it has to do with how you feel internally. There are some people out there who are not as great looking by society's standards, take for example, Ed Sheeran. I def would not let him kiss me but he has an amazing singing voice and great music. That all comes from within. Also keep in mind of the attractive people in society who have no substance. Some live mediocre lives and pray for something interesting or traumatic to happen in their lives so they could write about it, make art, and become someone in society that is not just another pretty face. I used to always compare myself to others but I realized that I have strengths that others will never have because of all the dumb shit I've been through growing up and overcome. Also consider what happens after looks fade away when you get old and wrinkley. No one wants to fuck you anymore. You're tired, old, saggy, and smell like shit. There are so many old men out there who prey on vulnerable young women to try to fuck them. Offering them money, the world, or fame, whatever. There are old married women who were hot in their younger years and are cheated on by their old husband praying on younger women. It's really not all that in the long run.

 

[Despondent]

No such thing as ugly and shame on those who have made you feel this way. This society is awful and cruel and I hope it rots in hell

 

[gymletethnicel]

No such thing as ugly

Say it again:

 

[Living sucks]

@LastFlowers
I can't imagine your pain and i can never try. I've never made fun of anyone for their looks. And actually spent a lot of my life when i was healthy, helping overweight people lose weight, for free. But I'm not making this about me

My comments to OP stem from his prior posts and pictures that were sent to me unsolicited by OP. He received much support and advice and ideas in his first post to which he, imo, responded with very childish behavior and rebuttals. And then a thread asking to send pictures to members asking for a "rating" of his looks. Then posting that he was "horribly disfigured".. to which he is not even close.

I hope you and all that suffer including myself will find that peace we need.
Much love and respect to you.

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

It's pretty amazing that one cannot even find solace on a suicide forum. Of all things, in this society, you would think people would understand the absolute tragedy that is being unattractive in this world. It colors everything.

On a social level, on a personal level, you have to be comfortable in your own skin in order to survive, in order to be a person, to be yourself. Many people simply cannot BE, because they are utterly trapped by their bodies. Whether it is severe physical pain or deterioration, becoming paralyzed, being violated/assaulted, or being physically unattractive...there is an inherent discomfort, a need for dissociation that comes along with these things. One wants to "get out" of their body, get out from behind their face, be free.

And isn't that what all suicidal people want? With all the unbearable pain and suffering,
To escape?

Why then, some of this dismissive commentary I see on this post? And many posts like it. Though tbh the comments here are mild compared to others I've seen in the past on this site and elsewhere.
(Half the reason I haven't made an appearance on this forum for awhile now.)
The blaming of OP for not accepting "kind words"...how is one defining kindness in this scenario?
...
The way I usually see it happen is people say lies to the one struggling with these issues, platitudes, they minimize, they gaslight, they give their 'inspirational hit and runs' whilst patting themselves on the back, they persecute the afflicted for simply being a victim of the absolutely, undeniably destructive and uncontrollable circumstance that is "being ugly". (Christ's sake, even average looking people lose a leg up in this society.)

It's disgusting, unhelpful, and it needs to stop. I've had enough of it. It doesn't belong in the every man's world and it certainly has no place in this tiny desperate corner of the Internet, where people make their last stop for understanding before they end their lives.
OP's issue is a very valid one for wanting to ctb, I don't know how anyone who lives in the same world I do could see it any other way.

OP, I am so sorry you are suffering and that you were given this burden to bear. I will not lie to you and say that looks are not important because unfortunately they are. People can deny it all they want, it's the reality that always has been, and likely always will be. And if you are the type of person who ends up on the shit side of things, if you are the kind of man or woman who just cannot accept such a disturbingly unfair aspect of life..I understand. It is perfectly and wholly understandable.

Humans are rotten to the core and even without their insulting commentary, an unattractive person will always be treated differently...romantically, platonically, by family, in the job sphere, everything, everywhere, by everyone. Only those who have dealt with it themselves, who suffer as you do, and who have had their eyes forced open to this god awful experience can appreciate its magnitude. As goes it with most things.

Personally, I don't know what that other person commenting to was referring to when they said you need to be open to the responses you receive and stop continuously doing this or that. I have not been on here in a awhile, but I can only guess you won't-then or now-get far on this site (or anywhere else) when speaking about this particular reason for wanting to CTB. Once in awhile maybe, I've gotten a couple of pm's from people who truly "get it", but I've even neglected to respond to them because overall this site has become no more a safe haven than anywhere else. Not where THIS is concerned.

..Even just that thread recently about someone feeling more sorry for the "beautiful people" that have commited suicide than the "others ones" or whatever they were on about...made me physically sick. And the comments..wtf.
There are people who are actually attractive trying to convince unattractive people they're actually better off...if I could, I would laugh. Genuinely laugh. (Fortunately for them I am too busy having a daily mental break down.)
Anyone who wants to make being attractive into a problem has a pretty easy solution, let me tell you, there are plenty of guaranteed ways to make oneself hideous. There are plenty of outs for someone who actually believes that. The thing is, they don't believe it and would never actually give that up because they are full of it.

And let me also tell you this, the amount of outstandingly hypocritical individuals I encounter-or witness-when trying to discuss this subject...just blows my mind. Look at all the reasons one can have for killing themselves, do you know how many I would trade my issues for, in order to live? Most, if not all.

But I am not them and they are not me, so I try my best to hold my tongue, as an invalid reason for myself, may be completely valid for someone else. Unfortunately, I have had to curb my expectation of receiving the same courtesy where my own reasons are concerned. (Which are closely in line with yours.)
The irony in some of my own responses I've received...grating, nerve exploding, hair pulling levels of ridiculous.
I've had someone on here go on a virtue mission of a multiple response rant to me about how I just need to find people who will not judge my appearance and this and that and how they were nice to an ugly person once or something (lmao what), while simultaneously, in the same response-if I am remembering correctly-quoting another member to comment and fuss on about how physically attractive they were. That's right, trying to dismiss to me, the significance of looks, while in the same breath, foaming at the mouth to creepily compliment another attractive user's appearance. You can't make this shit up.

I've had another user on here pull up all my previous posts when I was a fresh member, mock me, and try to invalidate my fair criticisms of their whole dogma, simply because I was "ugly and jealous" of their good looks. I believe their exact words were something about how I'm just mad that they have the one thing I don't. Which besides being cruel, is just untrue, as I have plenty of other issues, lack and have lost plenty of other things in life, things I have to deal with that would probably put that guy in the grave. It just so happens that being unattractive is the one that will kill me and the one that has caused the domino effect that led me here.

My long winded point is: a lot -NOT ALL-people on here can be just as much of a bully as anyone else, whether it is intentional or not.
And you may not get the kind of response that is actually warranted for this type of situation. Which is, without a doubt, Hell on Earth.

As for me, I can't be here anymore, I am so tired, if I had a gun, I would be gone by now. I've only come back here because I've got to find a way out that will not leave me worse off than now. You know what they say, either get busy living or get busy dying. And I'm out. I just wish I was a little more impulsive and less of a thinker when it came to this type of thing. I am just so worried about becoming a brain dead vegetable and losing the last piece of dignity and control I have left. I won't be able to hide, I won't be able to protest, I will likely be wheeled around and experience a whole new degree of humiliation that I've been trying to avoid by isolating all these years. It's a big risk. If there's one thing I have learned, it's that even when you are at death's door, things can always get worse.

Not to mention I can't even trust anyone in my life to respect my wishes no matter how hard I try. If they can't even grasp the reason for ending my life then how could they grasp the reasons for any postmortem requests. No announcement, no obituary, no wake, no funeral. Just toss me in the oven and throw me to the wind.

There is no peace to be had in this, it's just a mess of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Too much time has past and too much has happened to even try to physically fix the problems. I can't go back in time.
It's over for me. You have to decide if it's over for you too, how vital this is to you personally, or if there's any way you can turn your physical predicament around. Though I am guessing there isn't if you ended up here. I know it can be quite the feat when it's something that simple will-power and effort alone cannot change. That's the reason most people will turn the issue into a mental problem, make it your fault, it's because they know the odds of solving the actual core issue-physically-are bleak. So brain washing is the next best step I guess (definitely not).

I know the pain you feel OP.
I claw myself in my sleep because I try to escape this hell in my dreams, in my nightmares.
In my life I have been mocked and bullied in person, online, behind my back, in public with a large group of people. I am a woman that has had her gender questioned by a group of snickering girls. I have had children run from me-sticking their tongues out and calling me ugly and gross just for standing there. Just for existing. I have had a group of people make gagging and puking noises at me, stand up and act as if they were having a conniption fit just because I walked past them, dehumanizing me.

Even those who mean well find ways to insult me or grow a superiority complex around my existence. When I walk into a room, I make everyone else feel better about themselves.
And I am supposed to be okay with this? According to many, I am.
My family has no interest in me as a human being. The one person who does, my mother, has only a half-interest, a fraction of an investment in a suffering individual such as myself.
And even I, who lack that seemingly fundamental need for romantic or sexual relationships..even without desiring that-which usually seems so directly tied to this issue for others-I still am SO affected and destroyed by this for my own individual reasons. For just wanting to be me, to be free.
For simply wanting to look like the me that coincides with who I was meant to be, with what I feel I was meant to do or accomplish in life. (And I mean that in a 'potential' type of way, not a 'destiny or fate' way.)

I cannot filter myself through this prison any longer. I will not accept this, when I end my life, that will be the only thing I ever did that was truly a move made by ME, saying "No" to the hand I have been dealt, saying enough is enough, I do not accept, I will not suffer in silence in the wake of other's happiness, I will not be told that this is not a good enough reason to end my hellish time on this earth, I am done.

It is not about "letting people get to you" or anything like that. It goes so much deeper than that, it affects so much. Hell, even if I was the last person on earth, it would haunt me.
Telling someone who is objectively not attractive ( and yea, I hate to break it to anyone, but there is a science of aesthetics and a vast objective standard of attractiveness..it is not "made up")
that they're offing themselves all because someone was mean or superficial to them is simplifying the issue gravely, and kind of a twisted way of laying the fault on the person suffering. It's not just about losing your mind over what other people say about you or do to you (which.. actually, IS a valid reason to lose one's mind), it's about having your very essence of self suffocated by your own skin. It is about having some piece of meat, flesh and bone-that you do not identify with-called by your name, forced on you to be addressed by, to be seen through.
At least, that's how it is for me.

Staying away from people who will mock me has not removed my ability to suffer with looking like this.
..yea, sure, in truth it is wrong that it should make up your worth to the outside world (although I don't think it is wrong to want to be comfortable with your body and face on a personal level) and it is not the only important thing in life..but it can be a vital thing, and as I have said before to make a comparison: we have more than one vital organ, we need more than one, but all it takes is ONE to meet its doom to ensure a person dies. You need all these parts to live but only have to lose one for it to kill you.

THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE READ BEFORE I CTB! BEATIFUL. HONEST. RAW. SUCCINCT. THESE ARE THE WORDS OF A SOUL THAT HAS BEEN INTIMATE WITH SUFFERING! THANK YOU! I TOO WAS THE UGLY DUCLKING. IT BROUGHT ME TO WHERE I AM AS WELL. I once had a girl throw BLEACH in my face. I was 10. She was 12! Once I was wearing a leotard for a school play, and when it was over, my 3rd grade White teacher looked at me and said: "Why don't you put some clothes on, you look disguesting!" Im 40. Still remember that shit.

 

[K-O]

THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE READ BEFORE I CTB! BEATIFUL. HONEST. RAW. SUCCINCT. THESE ARE THE WORDS OF A SOUL THAT HAS BEEN INTIMATE WITH SUFFERING! THANK YOU! I TOO WAS THE UGLY DUCLKING. IT BROUGHT ME TO WHERE I AM AS WELL. I once had a girl throw BLEACH in my face. I was 10. She was 12! Once I was wearing a leotard for a school play, and when it was over, my 3rd grade White teacher looked at me and said: "Why don't you put some clothes on, you look disguesting!" Im 40. Still remember that shit.

i wish i could take your\our pain away.. i too have been bullied.. conditioned.. abused.. mistreated..
i have fought the good fight all my life.
i too feel defeated. a shell..
i wish peace for all of us.
x

 

[FreddieQuell]

It's pretty amazing that one cannot even find solace on a suicide forum. Of all things, in this society, you would think people would understand the absolute tragedy that is being unattractive in this world. It colors everything.

On a social level, on a personal level, you have to be comfortable in your own skin in order to survive, in order to be a person, to be yourself. Many people simply cannot BE, because they are utterly trapped by their bodies. Whether it is severe physical pain or deterioration, becoming paralyzed, being violated/assaulted, or being physically unattractive...there is an inherent discomfort, a need for dissociation that comes along with these things. One wants to "get out" of their body, get out from behind their face, be free.

And isn't that what all suicidal people want? With all the unbearable pain and suffering,
To escape?

Why then, some of this dismissive commentary I see on this post? And many posts like it. Though tbh the comments here are mild compared to others I've seen in the past on this site and elsewhere.
(Half the reason I haven't made an appearance on this forum for awhile now.)
The blaming of OP for not accepting "kind words"...how is one defining kindness in this scenario?
...
The way I usually see it happen is people say lies to the one struggling with these issues, platitudes, they minimize, they gaslight, they give their 'inspirational hit and runs' whilst patting themselves on the back, they persecute the afflicted for simply being a victim of the absolutely, undeniably destructive and uncontrollable circumstance that is "being ugly". (Christ's sake, even average looking people lose a leg up in this society.)

It's disgusting, unhelpful, and it needs to stop. I've had enough of it. It doesn't belong in the every man's world and it certainly has no place in this tiny desperate corner of the Internet, where people make their last stop for understanding before they end their lives.
OP's issue is a very valid one for wanting to ctb, I don't know how anyone who lives in the same world I do could see it any other way.

OP, I am so sorry you are suffering and that you were given this burden to bear. I will not lie to you and say that looks are not important because unfortunately they are. People can deny it all they want, it's the reality that always has been, and likely always will be. And if you are the type of person who ends up on the shit side of things, if you are the kind of man or woman who just cannot accept such a disturbingly unfair aspect of life..I understand. It is perfectly and wholly understandable.

Humans are rotten to the core and even without their insulting commentary, an unattractive person will always be treated differently...romantically, platonically, by family, in the job sphere, everything, everywhere, by everyone. Only those who have dealt with it themselves, who suffer as you do, and who have had their eyes forced open to this god awful experience can appreciate its magnitude. As goes it with most things.

Personally, I don't know what that other person commenting to was referring to when they said you need to be open to the responses you receive and stop continuously doing this or that. I have not been on here in a awhile, but I can only guess you won't-then or now-get far on this site (or anywhere else) when speaking about this particular reason for wanting to CTB. Once in awhile maybe, I've gotten a couple of pm's from people who truly "get it", but I've even neglected to respond to them because overall this site has become no more a safe haven than anywhere else. Not where THIS is concerned.

..Even just that thread recently about someone feeling more sorry for the "beautiful people" that have commited suicide than the "others ones" or whatever they were on about...made me physically sick. And the comments..wtf.
There are people who are actually attractive trying to convince unattractive people they're actually better off...if I could, I would laugh. Genuinely laugh. (Fortunately for them I am too busy having a daily mental break down.)
Anyone who wants to make being attractive into a problem has a pretty easy solution, let me tell you, there are plenty of guaranteed ways to make oneself hideous. There are plenty of outs for someone who actually believes that. The thing is, they don't believe it and would never actually give that up because they are full of it.

And let me also tell you this, the amount of outstandingly hypocritical individuals I encounter-or witness-when trying to discuss this subject...just blows my mind. Look at all the reasons one can have for killing themselves, do you know how many I would trade my issues for, in order to live? Most, if not all.

But I am not them and they are not me, so I try my best to hold my tongue, as an invalid reason for myself, may be completely valid for someone else. Unfortunately, I have had to curb my expectation of receiving the same courtesy where my own reasons are concerned. (Which are closely in line with yours.)
The irony in some of my own responses I've received...grating, nerve exploding, hair pulling levels of ridiculous.
I've had someone on here go on a virtue mission of a multiple response rant to me about how I just need to find people who will not judge my appearance and this and that and how they were nice to an ugly person once or something (lmao what), while simultaneously, in the same response-if I am remembering correctly-quoting another member to comment and fuss on about how physically attractive they were. That's right, trying to dismiss to me, the significance of looks, while in the same breath, foaming at the mouth to creepily compliment another attractive user's appearance. You can't make this shit up.

I've had another user on here pull up all my previous posts when I was a fresh member, mock me, and try to invalidate my fair criticisms of their whole dogma, simply because I was "ugly and jealous" of their good looks. I believe their exact words were something about how I'm just mad that they have the one thing I don't. Which besides being cruel, is just untrue, as I have plenty of other issues, lack and have lost plenty of other things in life, things I have to deal with that would probably put that guy in the grave. It just so happens that being unattractive is the one that will kill me and the one that has caused the domino effect that led me here.

My long winded point is: a lot -NOT ALL-people on here can be just as much of a bully as anyone else, whether it is intentional or not.
And you may not get the kind of response that is actually warranted for this type of situation. Which is, without a doubt, Hell on Earth.

As for me, I can't be here anymore, I am so tired, if I had a gun, I would be gone by now. I've only come back here because I've got to find a way out that will not leave me worse off than now. You know what they say, either get busy living or get busy dying. And I'm out. I just wish I was a little more impulsive and less of a thinker when it came to this type of thing. I am just so worried about becoming a brain dead vegetable and losing the last piece of dignity and control I have left. I won't be able to hide, I won't be able to protest, I will likely be wheeled around and experience a whole new degree of humiliation that I've been trying to avoid by isolating all these years. It's a big risk. If there's one thing I have learned, it's that even when you are at death's door, things can always get worse.

Not to mention I can't even trust anyone in my life to respect my wishes no matter how hard I try. If they can't even grasp the reason for ending my life then how could they grasp the reasons for any postmortem requests. No announcement, no obituary, no wake, no funeral. Just toss me in the oven and throw me to the wind.

There is no peace to be had in this, it's just a mess of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Too much time has past and too much has happened to even try to physically fix the problems. I can't go back in time.
It's over for me. You have to decide if it's over for you too, how vital this is to you personally, or if there's any way you can turn your physical predicament around. Though I am guessing there isn't if you ended up here. I know it can be quite the feat when it's something that simple will-power and effort alone cannot change. That's the reason most people will turn the issue into a mental problem, make it your fault, it's because they know the odds of solving the actual core issue-physically-are bleak. So brain washing is the next best step I guess (definitely not).

I know the pain you feel OP.
I claw myself in my sleep because I try to escape this hell in my dreams, in my nightmares.
In my life I have been mocked and bullied in person, online, behind my back, in public with a large group of people. I am a woman that has had her gender questioned by a group of snickering girls. I have had children run from me-sticking their tongues out and calling me ugly and gross just for standing there. Just for existing. I have had a group of people make gagging and puking noises at me, stand up and act as if they were having a conniption fit just because I walked past them, dehumanizing me.

Even those who mean well find ways to insult me or grow a superiority complex around my existence. When I walk into a room, I make everyone else feel better about themselves.
And I am supposed to be okay with this? According to many, I am.
My family has no interest in me as a human being. The one person who does, my mother, has only a half-interest, a fraction of an investment in a suffering individual such as myself.
And even I, who lack that seemingly fundamental need for romantic or sexual relationships..even without desiring that-which usually seems so directly tied to this issue for others-I still am SO affected and destroyed by this for my own individual reasons. For just wanting to be me, to be free.
For simply wanting to look like the me that coincides with who I was meant to be, with what I feel I was meant to do or accomplish in life. (And I mean that in a 'potential' type of way, not a 'destiny or fate' way.)

I cannot filter myself through this prison any longer. I will not accept this, when I end my life, that will be the only thing I ever did that was truly a move made by ME, saying "No" to the hand I have been dealt, saying enough is enough, I do not accept, I will not suffer in silence in the wake of other's happiness, I will not be told that this is not a good enough reason to end my hellish time on this earth, I am done.

It is not about "letting people get to you" or anything like that. It goes so much deeper than that, it affects so much. Hell, even if I was the last person on earth, it would haunt me.
Telling someone who is objectively not attractive ( and yea, I hate to break it to anyone, but there is a science of aesthetics and a vast objective standard of attractiveness..it is not "made up")
that they're offing themselves all because someone was mean or superficial to them is simplifying the issue gravely, and kind of a twisted way of laying the fault on the person suffering. It's not just about losing your mind over what other people say about you or do to you (which.. actually, IS a valid reason to lose one's mind), it's about having your very essence of self suffocated by your own skin. It is about having some piece of meat, flesh and bone-that you do not identify with-called by your name, forced on you to be addressed by, to be seen through.
At least, that's how it is for me.

Staying away from people who will mock me has not removed my ability to suffer with looking like this.
..yea, sure, in truth it is wrong that it should make up your worth to the outside world (although I don't think it is wrong to want to be comfortable with your body and face on a personal level) and it is not the only important thing in life..but it can be a vital thing, and as I have said before to make a comparison: we have more than one vital organ, we need more than one, but all it takes is ONE to meet its doom to ensure a person dies. You need all these parts to live but only have to lose one for it to kill you.

Thank you so much for this comment. Incredibly well written. I was a member here before (with a different username) and this is my first message under this new user just to say thank you.

 

[raindrops]

The short Indian guy will still get less respect. That's how reality works. Your looks determine how you are treated. Who you are on the inside and your personality mean nothing.
[/QUOTE]

You do not get given respect because of how you look, respect is given when a person is empathetic, kind, caring, thoughtful etc...
If you have been disrespected because of how you look it's usually because that person has issues with themselves, I suppose it's easier to take the piss out of other people when your ego is enormous! Then they feel better about their shitty self after bullying someone.

I think the main problem is idolising someone you'll never be, you truly have to accept yourself for who you are, otherwise you will live in torment constantly judging, hating and questioning yourself.

ffs I have cried over pictures of Kylie Jenner, seeing her pose and how she looks upsets me. When I see girls with their hair up it pisses me off because I will never wear my hair in a ponytail - my ears are way too big, so swimming scares me as well.

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder!

 

[Living sucks]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/can-someone-rate-me-please.38673/

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-am-so-ugly-and-deformed-i-need-to-die.38439/

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-to-cope-when-you-are-physically-deformed.38746/

Decide for yourselves.
i realize that he may not like his own looks and I sympathize with that .. but he's asking for validation in an unhealthy way, he's soliciting the comments, putting his pictures on a looks site wanting to be rated. Why do that to yourself?
he wanted opinions... my opinion is he's an ordinary average young looking male. Nothing to ctb over. But the thing is.. even beautiful people ctb, rich people ctb, popular people ctb... it's about who you are, not what people think of you. If you want a beautiful gf, or just sex, become rich and successful.., you'll find loads of fake, Barbie dolls that will use, abuse, and pretend to love you .., if that's what you're in to.

 

[Nohopeinhell]

@Wanting2go you seem to abandon all your threads you start but here it goes.

Have you spoken to anyone regarding how you are feeling? How old are you again?

Have you always felt this way? Is it something that has came on over a few years or has it been a lifelong issue of you feeling like this? Have you been diagnosed with Body dysmorphic disorder by anyone?

As i said previously, beauty does not define you as a person. Looks aren't everything.

Some people who are beautiful hate all the attention they get which also makes them depressed.

I grew up with male attention and i absolutely hated it. I used to get whistled at, men used to feel it was appropriate to grope me in a club etc.... i hated it.

I'm not saying i am beautiful but i get attention when i am out because of my looks. I don't like it at all. I would rather go out and not be noticed.

So its not just "ugly" people who struggle.

You have stated previously you are deformed. Do you mean deformed from birth? A disability making you deformed?

I have 1 arm. That makes me deformed. Lucky i have adapted well and it doesn't bother me anymore.

I also stated previously about my friend having acid thrown into her face which deformed her.

I'm not sure why you need people to clarify that you are not ugly. I mean, would you believe them anyway if they told you that you weren't ugly?

You sent photos to members on here unsolicited asking them to rate you.

Usually people with body dismorphia don't randomly send out pictures to strangers on the internet asking to be rated as they like to hide who they are and feel ashamed of how they look. I don't get why you are doing this? It seems the opposite with you. Almost like you get a kick out of all this.

People reply and try to understand but you never seem to address anything that they say to you. You just start another thread.

 

[Living sucks]

Say it again:
View attachment 35419View attachment 35420

Is this you? I don't believe so bcuz you're only 20 and this man looks older than 20. But if you look similar to this I don't feel this is ugly obviously he's not the model as society deems like the above picture... but i personally would not cast insults or stare or probably even think a nasty thought seeing his face. But unfortunately some people have 0 empathy. It is sad.
i was influenced by body types as a young girl but learned in adulthood that being healthy was most important... ironic I'm now dying from complete loss of health.

as i suggested previously... and i hope this doesn't come across negatively, but if I had issues with my looks and wanted true love, I would find a way to interact/volunteer with an organization for the blind. Blind people can only judge your heart and soul.

i do believe there is someone for everyone ... whether they meet is another story.
sending hugs to you

 

[Living sucks]

Yes i figured a meme. I didn't expand the picture to see the barely legible lettering.

 

[IwishIwasAttractive]

ur not ugly just overweight. and u told me u get laid 13 times. im 25 and i havent hold hands kiss etc. life isnt fair

 

[letmeseethedeath]

I get bullied in real life and on forums. Everywhere people mock me because I am ugly and thus not worthy to be loved
I want to die

i get bullied because i'm short and i have small hands.. i can feel you

 

[ugly_loser2008]

Don't feel too bad. I am so ugly I even bully myself...

Awesome statement, speaking as an ugly dude I feel it.