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Braindead Atheist

Braindead Atheist

Specialist
Oct 7, 2020
387
I've been trying to plan my suicide since fall 2019 and the furthest I've gotten was unfinished business. I tried asking my second favorite teacher to lunch and she wanted to at first and then she just started ignoring me. Then she flat out said no "because of the delta variant" yet I see her going to the senior breakfast with past students from 2021 on facebook and then she goes on trips with her friends unmasked. I guess she just genuinely didn't want to say goodbye to me. I got hacked earlier this week and the message was an inappropriate video. I tried to explain but she blocked me on fb. I tried to explain on instagram but she never responded even though she saw it. I told her she pushed me away and that I knew she just didn't want to catch up with me and that she used me to get monarch caterpillars and thats the only reason she friended me(she didn't talk to me for a week and then just said my monarchs were beautiful and a week later asked if i could help her find some for a friend of hers. Once I told her where to look she said thankyou and just only liked my Dm's to her or didn't respond) Then I finally said "I think our meeting at oak park was a mistake"(the school I attended for academic help because I'm retarded) I apologized just incase it was a misunderstanding and put goodbye at the end. She read it but never responded. I doubt she even gave me a second thought. I guess when I kill myself, she's in for a rude awakening that she denied herself the chance to say goodbye and that she'll never ever see me again since I'll be in the void.

She used to be so kind and gentle she said I was a beautiful and wonderful soul and that I shouldn't let anyone tell me otherwise and in 5th grade she said, "Isabelle, I think it was by fate that I met yo, promise me no matter how old you grow that we will always stay in touch?" and now I guess either she changed r those were just words all along.



This is what I said to her

"I'm sorry I bothered you. I will never contact you again. You have lost the privilege of being close with me by blocking me. As much I looked up to you in the past I don't anymore. All this time I've been reaching out and you have been trying to push me away. I wanted to go to lunch thinking I'd get to catch up with my mentor. You lied and said you were cautious about covid. You know how I know that isn't true?! Because you go on trips with people. You just don't want to catch up with me. It was the same thing when you snubbed me at John Diemer. Then you used me to get monarch caterpillars. That's the only reason you ever friended me, isn't it?! And now you blocked me!? I thought you were different... you once said to me that I only respond to kindness. Well guess what?! I get the memo; you don't want me to respond anymore. Congratulations you have pushed me away.



You know what?! I think our meeting at Oak Park was a mistake. Thanks a lot for nothing! Good bye Ms. Allen. I hope you're happy!"

and now I am preparing a special new year's roast for that little shit!
I'm planning to go on about her pretending to care but i want it to be really deep and hurt her. My goal is to make her cry. What should I say?

Edit: heres what I said to that heartless piece of shit- "
It's almost new year's. I want you to know what you did really F-ed with me. You used to be one of my favorite people, but now I HATE you. If you think you are a good person you are wrong. You did me no favors by pretending to care about me all those years. I was young and in a vulnerable place. You know I'm mentally... slow, have anger issues and a serious mood disorder (it would have been on my iep), and you still went and did what you did (blocked me). I deal with a lot. You are lucky you didn't send me over the edge. What would you have done if that happened? Oak Park was the best time of my life, and I've had a really traumatic life. You took away my safe place by turning on me, so thanks. I don't believe in heaven/hell, but I hope someone you look up to does this to you. Maybe it will teach you some empathy. Btw, have fun wasting your time praying to a god that doesn't exist. In the end it's just a void of consciousness." That should show her!
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
Relatable, I'm sorry for all you've been through.

People are selfish. Experienced this recently, with someone I helped a ton before I came to the site, defriended them, gave them a few days to apologise, zero response from them, so then I blocked them, without talking to them, they have their own problems, just not big since I helped them out of it. Fair-weather, not the person I thought they were, I gave them more than I ever asked for, all I wanted was a honest answer to a question, some advice. They couldn't even do that, after all I did for them. Still, this line of thinking is also somewhat dangerous for C/PTSD sufferers like myself. Have few people to trust, may have to forgive more than seems fair.
 
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Braindead Atheist

Braindead Atheist

Specialist
Oct 7, 2020
387
Relatable, I'm sorry for all you've been through.

People are selfish. Experienced this recently, with someone I helped a ton before I came to the site, defriended them, gave them a few days to apologise, zero response from them, so then I blocked them, without talking to them, they have their own problems, just not big since I helped them out of it. Fair-weather, not the person I thought they were, I gave them more than I ever asked for, all I wanted was a honest answer to a question, some advice. They couldn't even do that, after all I did for them. Still, this line of thinking is also somewhat dangerous for C/PTSD sufferers like myself. Have few people to trust, may have to forgive more than seems fair.
I'm so sorry. Ive had a few others do this shit to me. You don't have to forgive anyone you don't want to.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
No angry react pls, change to sad <3 on above post I mean.

It was a hard decision ngl, I had to weigh it up. Do I still want this person in my life, that I can only ask shallow things for, when I was there in their darkest hour and they preach their own honesty and goodness. So many times before giving them a chance I almost blocked them. I forced myself to give them a couple of days. Nobody should wait that long to apologise so I just blocked them to feel better myself.

edit; thank you *hugs*
 
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H

Hyd999

Member
Sep 10, 2021
82
My opinion is u need to forget about her as much as it may suck. I know u dont want to hear this- but from how u described it, you may be bringing her clingy vibes.

As you stated, she wanted to go to lunch with u at first, that may have been genuine. But thats prob all she wanted to do. "Nice to see you glad ur doing well".

Then you said after you guys planned lunch she started ignoring you. Leads me to think maybe you kept engaging in conversation with her? Which is not bad, but maybe she didnt have the time or desire to respond back to ur every message. Maybe she just wanted to catch up douring the lunch, not chat in between.

And then then you say she flat out told you she doesnt want to meet due to delta variant. Well maybe she saw you was texting her obsessivley and again didnt have the time or desire to respond right back and maybe she thought "if we go to lunch, isabella is gonna be sending me messages even more frequently" and that could be what pushed her away. So not wanting to be rude, she blamed the delta varient.

You could have still redeemed urself by saying "ok well lets catch up some time in the future" and left it at that.

You ever hear that phrase "if you love someone you have to let them go and if they care they will come back"...well same thing applies with this. If she saw you stopped being obsessive she may have reached out in the future.

Then the account hack where she got sent inappropriate content - that just turns the whole thing into a bad vibe and she just decided to flat out block you.

And you found her info on another social network and kept making contact with her. Thats very clingy in my opinion, you act like she owes you something.

She owes you nothing. She was a teacher and a mentor. Her job is done. To her you are not a friend who she wants to have daily or weekley chats with.

Maybe how you worded it but from how you worded this post it seems you was putting pressure on her to respond to you.

Im the same way as you- after i get mad i feel a heavy desire to let the person know my true point of view. But in cases like this it may be best to simply keep quiet and just move on.

You cant force her to like you. You cant force her to respond to you. And it sounds like you have used every method in the book to get a responce from her. By saying she is lucky she didnt push you over the edge, is super clingy and after saying that she prob wont ever respond now.

So it seems you dug yourself a pretty steep hole at this point.

Id say you have 2 options-
1. Leave it and dont think about her again. Dont make contact again.

2. The one final thing you could try (nothing to lose at this point) is send an apology message and just say things blew up and your mindset was not right, but tell her ur not gonna reach out again unless she reaches out to you first. Say ur sorry for sending her a million messages and for all the drama but you realize you have to have boundaries. But you genuinly wish her the best and if she is still down to go for lunch, you are open to it. If not, thats fine too.

Just realize she owes you nothing though. If you go with option 2 it may lead you to want to contact her more often again, if you feel that way you should go with option 1.

It sucks to care so much for someone and have them not care as much back, but thats life.

Thats just my humble opinion!
 
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eternalpeace

eternalpeace

Student
Dec 19, 2021
139
I hate it when a friendship turns out to be less special than it seemed. I think at this point you have said your piece (which is your right), and there isn't much more you can do but try to let go and move on. That's easier said than done, I realize, but once you do it you will feel so much better. I hope this experience doesn't sour your desire to reach out and make other connections.
 
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Braindead Atheist

Braindead Atheist

Specialist
Oct 7, 2020
387
My opinion is u need to forget about her as much as it may suck. I know u dont want to hear this- but from how u described it, you may be bringing her clingy vibes.

As you stated, she wanted to go to lunch with u at first, that may have been genuine. But thats prob all she wanted to do. "Nice to see you glad ur doing well".

Then you said after you guys planned lunch she started ignoring you. Leads me to think maybe you kept engaging in conversation with her? Which is not bad, but maybe she didnt have the time or desire to respond back to ur every message. Maybe she just wanted to catch up douring the lunch, not chat in between.

And then then you say she flat out told you she doesnt want to meet due to delta variant. Well maybe she saw you was texting her obsessivley and again didnt have the time or desire to respond right back and maybe she thought "if we go to lunch, isabella is gonna be sending me messages even more frequently" and that could be what pushed her away. So not wanting to be rude, she blamed the delta varient.

You could have still redeemed urself by saying "ok well lets catch up some time in the future" and left it at that.

You ever hear that phrase "if you love someone you have to let them go and if they care they will come back"...well same thing applies with this. If she saw you stopped being obsessive she may have reached out in the future.

Then the account hack where she got sent inappropriate content - that just turns the whole thing into a bad vibe and she just decided to flat out block you.

And you found her info on another social network and kept making contact with her. Thats very clingy in my opinion, you act like she owes you something.

She owes you nothing. She was a teacher and a mentor. Her job is done. To her you are not a friend who she wants to have daily or weekley chats with.

Maybe how you worded it but from how you worded this post it seems you was putting pressure on her to respond to you.

Im the same way as you- after i get mad i feel a heavy desire to let the person know my true point of view. But in cases like this it may be best to simply keep quiet and just move on.

You cant force her to like you. You cant force her to respond to you. And it sounds like you have used every method in the book to get a responce from her. By saying she is lucky she didnt push you over the edge, is super clingy and after saying that she prob wont ever respond now.

So it seems you dug yourself a pretty steep hole at this point.

Id say you have 2 options-
1. Leave it and dont think about her again. Dont make contact again.

2. The one final thing you could try (nothing to lose at this point) is send an apology message and just say things blew up and your mindset was not right, but tell her ur not gonna reach out again unless she reaches out to you first. Say ur sorry for sending her a million messages and for all the drama but you realize you have to have boundaries. But you genuinly wish her the best and if she is still down to go for lunch, you are open to it. If not, thats fine too.

Just realize she owes you nothing though. If you go with option 2 it may lead you to want to contact her more often again, if you feel that way you should go with option 1.

It sucks to care so much for someone and have them not care as much back, but thats life.

Thats just my humble opinion!
I never said she owes me something and I don't really think she does. I never looked at it that way though.
 
ItsMe-Hecked

ItsMe-Hecked

Student
Dec 30, 2021
123
Relatable, I'm sorry for all you've been through.

People are selfish. Experienced this recently, with someone I helped a ton before I came to the site, defriended them, gave them a few days to apologise, zero response from them, so then I blocked them, without talking to them, they have their own problems, just not big since I helped them out of it. Fair-weather, not the person I thought they were, I gave them more than I ever asked for, all I wanted was a honest answer to a question, some advice. They couldn't even do that, after all I did for them. Still, this line of thinking is also somewhat dangerous for C/PTSD sufferers like myself. Have few people to trust, may have to forgive more than seems fair.
Shit. Theres someone I really wish I could apologize to rn, and I know you're not them, but idk. I miss this person a lot, and I pushed them away because they didnt seem like they cared about me anymore. I dont think I'll find someone like them ever again.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
Shit. Theres someone I really wish I could apologize to rn, and I know you're not them, but idk. I miss this person a lot, and I pushed them away because they didnt seem like they cared about me anymore. I dont think I'll find someone like them ever again.
Welcome back, you might have to ask the mods to unban your other account and use that. Also, I was worried about you, so was another user.

Making an exception since you quoted me. I'm not using the forum.
 
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ItsMe-Hecked

ItsMe-Hecked

Student
Dec 30, 2021
123
Welcome back, you might have to ask the mods to unban your other account and use that. Also, I was worried about you, so was another user.

Making an exception since you quoted me. I'm not using the forum.
I tried to unban my old account, but it was permanently deleted last week.
 
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H

Hyd999

Member
Sep 10, 2021
82
I never said she owes me something and I don't really think she does. I never looked at it that way though.
U didnt say it directly but she doesnt respond and you send her messages on different platforms and then she stil doesnt respond and u send a message telling her shes lucky she didnt push u over the edge. And she doesnt respond and you send her another message trying to make her feel bad.

Im not taking her side by any means here, but if she doesnt owe you anything and doesnt want to comunicate with you, thats her decision.

You have to find someone more important then her thats worth ur energy.
 
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M

Messgram

Meaningless struggle
Dec 30, 2021
202
People are great friends one moment and then they don't give a shit anymore. They become complete strangers. I am so sympathetic to this kind of situation you have no Idea.
That's why I lost hope in people, they just want to have something to gain from me. Friendship and love is actually nothing more than an interest-driven farce. So...if it all boils down to satisfying the interest of people who don't care about me, I prefer to please myself and forget about the rest. Fuck everyone.
 
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Hyd999

Member
Sep 10, 2021
82
People are great friends one moment and then they don't give a shit anymore. They become complete strangers. I am so sympathetic to this kind of situation you have no Idea.
That's why I lost hope in people, they just want to have something to gain from me. Friendship and love is actually nothing more than an interest-driven farce. So...if it all boils down to satisfying the interest of people who don't care about me, I prefer to please myself and forget about the rest. Fuck everyone.
I feel the same exact way! People suck. I also lost all hope in people. I also chose to please myself and forget about the rest.

Today i own a multi million dollar business! And its doing better then ever. Sales are up over 35% compared to 2020.

But end of day its just a number. So what if its up 35%. So what if its up 95%? Bigger numbers are nicer but at end of the day all the hard work i put in just makes the number higher. It doesnt bring me any more happiness. Doesnt make me find a girlfriend that likes me for me.

Noone will like me for me i feel. Maybe i can get a girlfriend if i realy wanted but i feel she would just be my girlfriend for the money. So fuck em all im just gonna keep doing me till i am so lonley that i finally build the courage to catch the bus!

Cant rely on others. Even friends who seem to be genuine have selfish moments where they seem to not care. So discouraging. Such a turn off. So yes...im focusing on me and focusing on growing my company and not letting anyone slow me down!

Even my employees tell me im the best boss they ever had and they are so greatful for there job and all...yet they see me needing help at times and offer no help whatnsoever. I get it! They want me to feel like they are doing me a solid me by saying im the best boss and trying to compliment me when its convenient. But dont care enough to help me when they see i could use help. Thats how i know they genuinly dont care.

They dont want to hang out with me after work (cus who wants to hang out with the boss) but they act all friendly towards eachother.

One guy at work is a complete joke. I could text him right now and ask him how hes doing or anything- he wont reply - but when i see him tomorrow he will come up with some stupid excuse "oh i just got ur text now" or "didnt see ur text last night". Or maybe wont even address the text at all. Clearley is not there for me as a friend- just an employee.

He actually got covid a few weeks ago and i sent him a bunch of info to recover- he left me on read for 3 days! Not even a single "thank you".

So yeah- people flat out suck
 
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little helpers

little helpers

did I tie the tourniquet on my arm or on my neck?
Dec 14, 2021
518
All this time I've been reaching out and you have been trying to push me away.

TL;DR: I think OP been love-bombed by teacher and that's why.

okay I feel that quote too hard. but what I'm gonna say is, your teacher sounds fake. like, fake the whole time. maybe it's my fucked-up experiences that tell me no adults truly enjoy kids that much. and to me it almost feels like she was setting you up *just* to bring you down. I learned a bit about CSA committed by teachers/professors. the sort of language they'd use to trick and lure kids. now *that*'s the sort of language. what you mentioned. I like kids but I won't ever think I met one by motherfucking fate unless they're part of my family.

and it's not your fault that you believed her. every kid wants affection. grown people too. but it's just *my* opinion that she been using you the whole time. and too good you said a permanent goodbye to that bitch.

like, I totally understand that no connection or relationship last forever. it's the truth. but somehow we all believe families are meant to love their kids forever and ever, don't we? if someone crossed the line and love-bombed you, you're really gonna believe you mean that much to them. for real. that's why I'm with OP here. it's all about what has *specifically* happened.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,289
Some people can be so cruel. It can be a dreadful feeling when someone you used to be close to treats you like that. It is why I choose to stay away from people as then they cannot hurt me. I wish you the best.
 
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StarryStarry

StarryStarry

Cat Lady
Oct 25, 2021
749
1. She/he crossed the line of teacher/student.
2. She/he isn't fit to wipe the shit off your shoes
3. There will always be assholes (sorry I know I hate calling someone an asshole as an asshole has a purpose and most people have no purpose) who want to destroy you
4. Find a friend who will appreciate you for who you are; not who they want you to be
 
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KTbear

KTbear

This Be The Verse
Dec 15, 2021
80
I feel the same exact way! People suck. I also lost all hope in people. I also chose to please myself and forget about the rest.

Today i own a multi million dollar business! And its doing better then ever. Sales are up over 35% compared to 2020.

But end of day its just a number. So what if its up 35%. So what if its up 95%? Bigger numbers are nicer but at end of the day all the hard work i put in just makes the number higher. It doesnt bring me any more happiness. Doesnt make me find a girlfriend that likes me for me.

Noone will like me for me i feel. Maybe i can get a girlfriend if i realy wanted but i feel she would just be my girlfriend for the money. So fuck em all im just gonna keep doing me till i am so lonley that i finally build the courage to catch the bus!

Cant rely on others. Even friends who seem to be genuine have selfish moments where they seem to not care. So discouraging. Such a turn off. So yes...im focusing on me and focusing on growing my company and not letting anyone slow me down!

Even my employees tell me im the best boss they ever had and they are so greatful for there job and all...yet they see me needing help at times and offer no help whatnsoever. I get it! They want me to feel like they are doing me a solid me by saying im the best boss and trying to compliment me when its convenient. But dont care enough to help me when they see i could use help. Thats how i know they genuinly dont care.

They dont want to hang out with me after work (cus who wants to hang out with the boss) but they act all friendly towards eachother.

One guy at work is a complete joke. I could text him right now and ask him how hes doing or anything- he wont reply - but when i see him tomorrow he will come up with some stupid excuse "oh i just got ur text now" or "didnt see ur text last night". Or maybe wont even address the text at all. Clearley is not there for me as a friend- just an employee.

He actually got covid a few weeks ago and i sent him a bunch of info to recover- he left me on read for 3 days! Not even a single "thank you".

So yeah- people flat out suck
Speaking from experience, it is not good to have your employees as friends. It's one thing to be on friendly terms with them and it sounds like you are - this is good. Expecting them to be friends outside of work is a series of disasters waiting to happen. And as far as the employee not responding to texts, if it is after his scheduled work shift and/or a non-work related thing he may be very rightly drawing boundaries with you. That is a healthy thing to do. You will do yourself a big favor by seeking friendships outside of work.
 
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C

Capsicum_Corral

Experienced
Dec 10, 2021
209
I feel the same exact way! People suck. I also lost all hope in people. I also chose to please myself and forget about the rest.

Today i own a multi million dollar business! And its doing better then ever. Sales are up over 35% compared to 2020.

But end of day its just a number. So what if its up 35%. So what if its up 95%? Bigger numbers are nicer but at end of the day all the hard work i put in just makes the number higher. It doesnt bring me any more happiness. Doesnt make me find a girlfriend that likes me for me.

Noone will like me for me i feel. Maybe i can get a girlfriend if i realy wanted but i feel she would just be my girlfriend for the money. So fuck em all im just gonna keep doing me till i am so lonley that i finally build the courage to catch the bus!

Cant rely on others. Even friends who seem to be genuine have selfish moments where they seem to not care. So discouraging. Such a turn off. So yes...im focusing on me and focusing on growing my company and not letting anyone slow me down!

Even my employees tell me im the best boss they ever had and they are so greatful for there job and all...yet they see me needing help at times and offer no help whatnsoever. I get it! They want me to feel like they are doing me a solid me by saying im the best boss and trying to compliment me when its convenient. But dont care enough to help me when they see i could use help. Thats how i know they genuinly dont care.

They dont want to hang out with me after work (cus who wants to hang out with the boss) but they act all friendly towards eachother.

One guy at work is a complete joke. I could text him right now and ask him how hes doing or anything- he wont reply - but when i see him tomorrow he will come up with some stupid excuse "oh i just got ur text now" or "didnt see ur text last night". Or maybe wont even address the text at all. Clearley is not there for me as a friend- just an employee.

He actually got covid a few weeks ago and i sent him a bunch of info to recover- he left me on read for 3 days! Not even a single "thank you".

So yeah- people flat out suck
Congratulations on the business. Sounds like you're doing something right.

As for the employees, they're mostly there because they can't or won't create their own life, but they still need money. People can only have a handful of genuine friends, and that's normally just one hand. You can be friendly with tons of people you really don't give a flying fuck about, and that's just being a decent person. Smile, inquire as to their health and general conditions, and move on.

People are inherently self-oriented because that's how we survive to keep going. Now that the internet and social media exist, people's time and attention are more fragmented than ever, and you can genuinely care about only a tiny fraction of the people you encounter. It's a real bonus when the people you encounter (like employees, associates, suppliers, and such) make an effort to be friendly and personable, even when you're just another person they have to deal with.

You say sales are up, but it's not making you happy. You say you're afraid any girl would just be wanting your money instead of you. You say the life you're currently living is making you so lonely that you're ready to end yourself.

Have you thought about "repositioning" yourself so your own behaviors aren't making you so unhappy? Take some time off to find out who you really are and what actually makes you happy. Maybe sell the business and move to bumfuck and raise crawdads in your backyard pond. There are roughly 2.4 million other ways you could be living your life, some of those would undoubtedly be far more fulfilling than this life that's making you so unhappy.

Anyway, that's the consultant who used to charge ridiculous fees in me talking. But it's you yourself who made the strong case against continuing your current behaviors.
 
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Ihadagoodlife

Ihadagoodlife

Member
Jan 18, 2021
51
She is not a heartless piece of shit. Trying to hurt people's on purpose and not on purpose are 2 different things you do what you want but you're not showing yourself in the best light rn. Maybe you're just venting idk but the thing to do rn is apologize like that other person said.

If that person didn't saw you it's cause she didn't wanted to see you. The reason why? That idk there could be multiple and the reasons the guy above mentioned are good cause she agreed first. Anyway does this mean she didn't liked you and she didn't meant what she said about you ? No it doesn't mean that.

Only thing that person did wrong to you is not telling you straight up she didn't wanted to see you and it could be a lack of respect but if she just told you i just don't want to see you. How you would've taken it? She maybe preferred to make an excuse to not hurt you and everyone is different.


Idk who is in the wrong exactly here but to want to hurt her you are definitely in the wrong for that.
Well idk. If you want to hurt her you probably doesn't control that ig it just comes to you. Try to find a way to release those emotions cause you come across as a someone with a narcicistic personality dissorder rn and only those types of people's would hurt people for things like that.
You didn't choose to feel that way for her too ig and you got hurt. This world is complicated
 
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eternalpeace

eternalpeace

Student
Dec 19, 2021
139
Speaking from experience, it is not good to have your employees as friends. It's one thing to be on friendly terms with them and it sounds like you are - this is good. Expecting them to be friends outside of work is a series of disasters waiting to happen. And as far as the employee not responding to texts, if it is after his scheduled work shift and/or a non-work related thing he may be very rightly drawing boundaries with you. That is a healthy thing to do. You will do yourself a big favor by seeking friendships outside of work.
I agree. I learned the hard way not to make friends at work. It always ended badly for me. It was quite upsetting, because when I was still working, I worked 60-80 hours a week. Where else was I supposed to meet friends? If I did manage to meet them, when exactly was I supposed to see them? But I know that I would have saved myself a world of hurt if I had drawn a bright line between "work colleagues" and actual friends. No harm in going out for the occasional drink or lunch with people from the office, but keep the conversation light (movies, the local hockey team, funny anecdotes about kids or pets …). Guard your personal information zealously, because there is a real danger that it could be used against you at a later date.
 
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ThriveOrDie

ThriveOrDie

We are already in hell
Jul 11, 2019
449
My opinion is u need to forget about her as much as it may suck. I know u dont want to hear this- but from how u described it, you may be bringing her clingy vibes.

As you stated, she wanted to go to lunch with u at first, that may have been genuine. But thats prob all she wanted to do. "Nice to see you glad ur doing well".

Then you said after you guys planned lunch she started ignoring you. Leads me to think maybe you kept engaging in conversation with her? Which is not bad, but maybe she didnt have the time or desire to respond back to ur every message. Maybe she just wanted to catch up douring the lunch, not chat in between.

And then then you say she flat out told you she doesnt want to meet due to delta variant. Well maybe she saw you was texting her obsessivley and again didnt have the time or desire to respond right back and maybe she thought "if we go to lunch, isabella is gonna be sending me messages even more frequently" and that could be what pushed her away. So not wanting to be rude, she blamed the delta varient.

You could have still redeemed urself by saying "ok well lets catch up some time in the future" and left it at that.

You ever hear that phrase "if you love someone you have to let them go and if they care they will come back"...well same thing applies with this. If she saw you stopped being obsessive she may have reached out in the future.

Then the account hack where she got sent inappropriate content - that just turns the whole thing into a bad vibe and she just decided to flat out block you.

And you found her info on another social network and kept making contact with her. Thats very clingy in my opinion, you act like she owes you something.

She owes you nothing. She was a teacher and a mentor. Her job is done. To her you are not a friend who she wants to have daily or weekley chats with.

Maybe how you worded it but from how you worded this post it seems you was putting pressure on her to respond to you.

Im the same way as you- after i get mad i feel a heavy desire to let the person know my true point of view. But in cases like this it may be best to simply keep quiet and just move on.

You cant force her to like you. You cant force her to respond to you. And it sounds like you have used every method in the book to get a responce from her. By saying she is lucky she didnt push you over the edge, is super clingy and after saying that she prob wont ever respond now.

So it seems you dug yourself a pretty steep hole at this point.

Id say you have 2 options-
1. Leave it and dont think about her again. Dont make contact again.

2. The one final thing you could try (nothing to lose at this point) is send an apology message and just say things blew up and your mindset was not right, but tell her ur not gonna reach out again unless she reaches out to you first. Say ur sorry for sending her a million messages and for all the drama but you realize you have to have boundaries. But you genuinly wish her the best and if she is still down to go for lunch, you are open to it. If not, thats fine too.

Just realize she owes you nothing though. If you go with option 2 it may lead you to want to contact her more often again, if you feel that way you should go with option 1.

It sucks to care so much for someone and have them not care as much back, but thats life.

Thats just my humble opinion!
You can bring a lot of unnecessary drama into the office by being friends with coworkers or employees. If I were you I would try a good dating app, not a hookup app, and do not disclose your income. If a woman asks about your income early on you know she is in it for money.
 

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