Venting i fucking hate bpd

[autumn68]

i was so ready to work on myself and feel better and magically cure my depression after getting on meds and going inpatient but it's not even a full week later and i've completely relapsed and feel like dying again lol. i don't think i'll ever get better, i was trying so hard. i went to aa, i told to my family about my depression, i stopped cutting, etc and all it did was make me feel worse. my mood is just so unstable and i have no idea how to regulate myself without any unhealthy coping mechanisms. i'm so tired of it, i wish i was brave enough to do literally anything about it but i'm not so i guess it's back to venting on this forum until i work up to another attempt

 

[ungodly]

i wish i had more to say n it probably sounds redundant, but i have bpd as well and you explained how i feel perfectly. i'm in about the same position as you are rn and it truly feels like an endless cycle. i am so fucking sorry that ur experiencing this too.

i know the pain of feeling like you're getting somewhere or doing something that helps in the moment and having that dignity stripped away from you the second its over all too well, and how it feels when your drive to push forward and get better depletes.

i wont encourage you to ctb because that goes against my morals but know that you have my empathy and i feel you. as much as it feels like society's rejected you, ur pain is valid and completely understandable.