I found an online leaflet about narcissist mothers...

[chocolatebar]

I don't remember feeling so bad. Every description touches painful memories and even the "common phrases" mentioned are way too familiar for me. I can't believe I fell victim of such scheme, I can't believe I lost all the years from my life to the expense of that person I call my mother. She destroyed everything.

I have been trying to leave this house for a long time, but she has been sabotaging me in several ways, even playing the sick mom to force me into staying.

I can't even write a conclusion to this post, because there's no conclusion in my thoughts.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry you are feeling like you do and are finding yourself in such a situation.

 

[Niko66]

I don't remember feeling so bad. Every description touches painful memories and even the "common phrases" mentioned are way too familiar for me. I can't believe I fell victim of such scheme, I can't believe I lost all the years from my life to the expense of that person I call my mother. She destroyed everything.

I have been trying to leave this house for a long time, but she has been sabotaging me in several ways, even playing the sick mom to force me into staying.

I can't even write a conclusion to this post, because there's no conclusion in my thoughts.

Would you mind sharing it maybe on DM? No pressure to. I am just interested for personal reasons and relating to your experience.
I am truly sorry for every child victim of their "protector" and caretaker and that you had to go through this.
I can think of very few more horrendous things than abusing the person you brought to this world, a helpless child who doesn't know better, who doesn't have anyone else to help them or give them the tools to help themselves, someone who looks towards you for safety and nurture and is answered with manipulation and harm. Parental abuse is so insidious and easy to be missed by everyone else and yet it's so easily capable of crushing lives before they even begin. I'll never not hate abusive parents, regardless of their circumstances, there's never a justification.

 

[chocolatebar]

Would you mind sharing it maybe on DM? No pressure to. I am just interested for personal reasons and relating to your experience.
I am truly sorry for every child victim of their "protector" and caretaker and that you had to go through this.
I can think of very few more horrendous things than abusing the person you brought to this world, a helpless child who doesn't know better, who doesn't have anyone else to help them or give them the tools to help themselves, someone who looks towards you for safety and nurture and is answered with manipulation and harm. Parental abuse is so insidious and easy to be missed by everyone else and yet it's so easily capable of crushing lives before they even begin. I'll never not hate abusive parents, regardless of their circumstances, there's never a justification.

I can't agree more. I see so many people with their lives destroyed by their parents...
They have the power to abuse from our fragility and take advantage of that, creating wounds that will hurt even after we're adults.
Narcissist mothers won't even accept that their sons have grown up and will go to all extents to prevent them from living independently.

I can't believe I lost all my life like this...

I will post the leaflet, however, it's in portuguese and I don't think most people here will be able to read, but it links to another site in english and will post the link as well
The leaflet:

The link I mentioned seems like just a page under construction, unfortunately:

Not every mother is a mom - Nem toda mãe é MÃE

Maternal abuse awareness campaign - Campanha de conscientização sobre abuso materno

not-every.site123.me

 

[Lullaby]

I feel this a lot…so much that I can say about it. All of my issues stem from how my mother treated me, and she's just very controlling at well. I'm still stuck at home and it really impacts my mental health.

I remember when I was a kid and I would have panic attacks before going to school. One morning she dumped a bucket of cold water on me, dragged me out of the house and made me stand outside in my underwear. She can be physically and verbally abusive and talking to her is like navigating a mine field.

I had an apartment that I was planning to move into and my dad told me not to say anything about it to my mother because she was going to make it very difficult for me to move out.

It fell through and I'm still stuck here. Just know that I can relate a lot.

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people are just so cruel. I'm sorry that your life was ruined, this life really is so unfair. I hope you find relief from your suffering.

 

[Niko66]

I can't agree more. I see so many people with their lives destroyed by their parents...
They have the power to abuse from our fragility and take advantage of that, creating wounds that will hurt even after we're adults.
Narcissist mothers won't even accept that their sons have grown up and will go to all extents to prevent them from living independently.

I can't believe I lost all my life like this...

I will post the leaflet, however, it's in portuguese and I don't think most people here will be able to read, but it links to another site in english and will post the link as well
The leaflet:

The link I mentioned seems like just a page under construction, unfortunately:

Not every mother is a mom - Nem toda mãe é MÃE

Maternal abuse awareness campaign - Campanha de conscientização sobre abuso materno

not-every.site123.me

I am native spanish speaker so I can kinda understand portuguese anyways. But I am too tired mentally to try rn, thank you for sharing either way.

 

[chocolatebar]

I feel this a lot…so much that I can say about it. All of my issues stem from how my mother treated me, and she's just very controlling at well. I'm still stuck at home and it really impacts my mental health.

I remember when I was a kid and I would have panic attacks before going to school. One morning she dumped a bucket of cold water on me, dragged me out of the house and made me stand outside in my underwear. She can be physically and verbally abusive and talking to her is like navigating a mine field.

I had an apartment that I was planning to move into and my dad told me not to say anything about it to my mother because she was going to make it very difficult for me to move out.

It fell through and I'm still stuck here. Just know that I can relate a lot.

I am planning to move too and I'm doing it in secrecy as well. I don't think there's another way to deal with it but moving away as soon as possible.

And, as if isn't enough, from what I read from people's experiences, after we move out, begins another phase. Narcissistics usually change and will become sweet to us, trying to drag us back into manipulation.

 

[woknows]

I have similar feelings. It is sad to be born to such people.

 

[nopride86]

I finally got away and moved to a new city but the apron strings are too strong. I couldn't cut them out of pity, guilt, and fear (of her and for her).
I thought physically and emotionally distancing myself would help but in some ways it made it so much worse. Unbearable at times.

My mom was/is so good at being covert in her psychological abuse that I appear to be the toxic and abusive one. Maybe I am.

Empathy is a bitch. I understand why she is the way that she is, so this desire to "abandon" her doubles the pain of it all.

What am I supposed to do? Suffer through another 30+ years of this? The women in my family are cursed with longevity and I am cursed by it.

 

[Lullaby]

I am planning to move too and I'm doing it in secrecy as well. I don't think there's another way to deal with it but moving away as soon as possible.

And, as if isn't enough, from what I read from people's experiences, after we move out, begins another phase. Narcissistics usually change and will become sweet to us, trying to drag us back into manipulation.

It definitely happens. I've threatened to leave home a few times and I would just disappear for a few hours. Then I would get texts from her saying how much she loves me (she never tells me that) and that I only have one mother.

I had this conversation with my dad recently. He told me you have to just put yourself first no matter what. It'll be hard because we're so used to folding but you have to push through it.

 

[Life_and_Death]

You're not alone... I deal with the same thing from my "husband". He's even "manipulating" me when he's saying he's not..

 

[chocolatebar]

I finally got away and moved to a new city but the apron strings are too strong. I couldn't cut them out of pity, guilt, and fear (of her and for her).
I thought physically and emotionally distancing myself would help but in some ways it made it so much worse. Unbearable at times.

My mom was/is so good at being covert in her psychological abuse that I appear to be the toxic and abusive one. Maybe I am.

Empathy is a bitch. I understand why she is the way that she is, so this desire to "abandon" her doubles the pain of it all.

What am I supposed to do? Suffer through another 30+ years of this? The women in my family are cursed with longevity and I am cursed by it.

My family acts in a similar way... every time I try to do things for myself, they say I'm being selfish and trick me into feeling like a bad person. It's so obvious now and yet, I felt bad for myself back then, as if I was truly someone selfish.

It definitely happens. I've threatened to leave home a few times and I would just disappear for a few hours. Then I would get texts from her saying how much she loves me (she never tells me that) and that I only have one mother.

I had this conversation with my dad recently. He told me you have to just put yourself first no matter what. It'll be hard because we're so used to folding but you have to push through it.

Oh... I feel anxious just by think about what she's gonna do...
On thing that makes it harder for me is that I have difficulty in changing things (I discovered recently I'm autistic) and that's the very thing I need to do, change everything, move out and never come back

You're not alone... I deal with the same thing from my "husband". He's even "manipulating" me when he's saying he's not..

I have read your posts before and it was so obvious to me. However, I didn't notice the manipulation I suffer myself...

 

[Zeus35]

I don't remember feeling so bad. Every description touches painful memories and even the "common phrases" mentioned are way too familiar for me. I can't believe I fell victim of such scheme, I can't believe I lost all the years from my life to the expense of that person I call my mother. She destroyed everything.

I have been trying to leave this house for a long time, but she has been sabotaging me in several ways, even playing the sick mom to force me into staying.

I can't even write a conclusion to this post, because there's no conclusion in my thoughts.

My own egg donor as I call her is a narcissist and so is one of her children she makes me sick

 

[Life_and_Death]

it was so obvious to me

It wasn't obvious to me... My SO has been telling me for years but I didn't listen until recently. Now everyone is saying he is, it's kind of hard for me to not notice now

 

[chocolatebar]

It wasn't obvious to me... My SO has been telling me for years but I didn't listen until recently. Now everyone is saying he is, it's kind of hard for me to not notice now

Same here. Everywhere I look I see the signs of manipulation...