I fought til the f*cking end to save my job if I get fired tomorrow then so be it

[FireFox]

Today was the worst day ever at work it felt like I was a criminal in a court trial it was so disgusting. First I had defend myself to the management and explain that the older male work colleague I loved has been lying about me. My male colleague tells "me not worry" and "we are good" and then he goes behind my back to tell the boss I have been making him "uncomfortable" and causing him workplace stress. I even screamed at the meeting " He is 55 years old he is the man, the adult and should have taken control of the situation". They are believing his lies over me. I had a panic attack and almost broke down crying as the questioning and scrutiny felt like police interrogation.

My male boss looked at me with absolute disgust when I said I was in love with my colleague because he was different from all the other men I have been with. He even questioned the validity of my attraction.

I had to explain that I am good enough for this job yes I have made mistakes in my job ie standing up to a rude entitled arsehole customer and calling them out for their ridiculous demands and entitlment,struggling with the workload.
After that meeting I emailed the entire work team saying why I joined this organisation which was to make a difference and I apologised for all the problems I have caused the department.

Right now I just feel so hopeless, so alone but if I lose my job then fine because I fought and tried my best.

 

[lionetta12]

Today was the worst day ever at work it felt like I was a criminal in a court trial it was so disgusting. First I had defend myself to the management and explain that the older male work colleague I loved has been lying about me. My male colleague tells "me not worry" and "we are good" and then he goes behind my back to tell the boss I have been making him "uncomfortable" and causing him workplace stress. I even screamed at the meeting " He is 55 years old he is the man, the adult and should have taken control of the situation". They are believing his lies over me. I had a panic attack and almost broke down crying as the questioning and scrutiny felt like police interrogation.

My male boss looked at me with absolute disgust when I said I was in love with my colleague because he was different from all the other men I have been with. He even questioned the validity of my attraction.

I had to explain that I am good enough for this job yes I have made mistakes in my job ie standing up to a rude entitled arsehole customer and calling them out for their ridiculous demands and entitlment,struggling with the workload.
After that meeting I emailed the entire work team saying why I joined this organisation which was to make a difference and I apologised for all the problems I have caused the department.

Right now I just feel so hopeless, so alone but if I lose my job then fine because I fought and tried my best.

I'm so sorry for all that you've gone through. I've read your other posts on the topic over the past couple of weeks and it sounds like a really difficult situation to be in. This is why I always rejected my male colleagues everywhere I worked because I wanted to avoid office wars if things ever went south or ended between us, I have the impression that things like this happens every so often in different work areas and it's awful. Even thought it might seem hopeless right now, I do hope that you have a positive outcome from this and that you don't get fired or that you can find another job if you choose to not CTB. I wish you peace regardless of what you choose.

 

[Huntfish34]

I also have read your posts about this lately and I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm having trouble at work myself lately, but it's mostly just resentments and hatred towards some dickhead fckn Cunts I have to deal with on a daily basis which is Absolutely driving me into the ground.

Regardless, I hope things can change for the better in your favor. Thoughts and prayers with you. Take care of yourself if possible.

 

[FireFox]

I also have read your posts about this lately and I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm having trouble at work myself lately, but it's mostly just resentments and hatred towards some dickhead fckn Cunts I have to deal with on a daily basis which is Absolutely driving me into the ground.

Regardless, I hope things can change for the better in your favor. Thoughts and prayers with you. Take care of yourself if possible.

@Huntfish34 The questioning from the workplace management was absolutely disgusting. I am so distressed. I even was forced to explain that I have never had a relationship before. My private life was now open scrutiny. I feel so violated and so exposed

When my male boss even questioned my attraction to my older male colleague.

He said "you weren't in love with him you were infatuated with him" he had a disgusted look when he was questioning me. He even had the audacity to compare this to sexual harassment.

I interrupted him said "you can not compare this to sexual harassment because I NEVER sexually pursued him" the evidence is in the emails


My boss looked so stupid and said " fine harassment then"

This is the worst week of my life but this is all my fault for allowing myself to fall in love with him, trusting him and being vunlerable with him especially about my problems.

 

[LastFlowers]

@Huntfish34 The questioning from the workplace management was absolutely disgusting. I am so distressed. I even was forced to explain that I have never had a relationship before. My private life was now open scrutiny. I feel so violated and so exposed

When my male boss even questioned my attraction to my older male colleague.

He said "you weren't in love with him you were infatuated with him" he had a disgusted look when he was questioning me. He even had the audacity to compare this to sexual harassment.

I interrupted him said "you can not compare this to sexual harassment because I NEVER sexually pursued him" the evidence is in the emails


My boss looked so stupid and said " fine harassment then"

This is the worst week of my life but this is all my fault for allowing myself to fall in love with him, trusting him and being vunlerable with him especially about my problems.

It sounds like you're the one being harassed, if anything.
And they have no right to pry into your relationship history, that is none of their business.
I would have told them to shove that question up their ass, or calmly let them know that the question itself is violating…and would they like for me to take the present opportunity to file my own claim of sexual harassment against them for utilizing inappropriate questioning.

 

[Huntfish34]

Damn. Yeah, that is pretty damn disgusting. Sorry to hear about all of this, will post more later but I'm about to walk into my job ... now.. Fck, I hate it.

You are not alone, wish you the best in whatever happens today. Bless you-

 

[Forever Sleep]

That sounds awful. I'm so sorry. I go for older guys too. I'd feel humiliated if I had explain it all to a boss.

It just all sounds so shit because on top of this- you trusted someone- cared for them and they betrayed you. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to leave but- what are the chances of you getting a new job? Were you happy there apart from that or- would you be ok moving on? Sounds a bit like you need a fresh start. If you still feel like you have to carry on that is. I'm so sorry- sounds like you've had such a tough time lately.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really horrible situation to be trapped in, it's just so incredibly unfair how other people can create so much suffering and just make things much worse. The reality is that you just cannot trust people.

 

[jodes2]

That's so rough. Workplaces are tough. So much politics and back stabbing and responsibilities. Not fun. That guy is a dick, he should hold himself responsible. Try to move on. Fix things by being the better person and by being strong. Calmly stand your ground but don't make a big deal out of it. Just hold your corner, this will all blow over with time. Be your good self and it should all but be forgotten.

 

[LittleBlackCat]

jodes has some good advice. Please follow it. I have been through a similar situation and responded to your previous post.. I'm on the other side of this now and while I still see him at work (he was my boss at the time) I feel nothing towards him, other than a bit of disgust. He's nothing to me. This is a big deal as I too felt I was falling in love. You can get through this I promise you. I thought I'd completely fucked my job up after I called him (he started ignoring me after he slept with me, not good when you're ignored by your boss at work) I was angry and I basically let loose, started shouting at him.. I was disgusted by his behaviour.
I'm still in my job, nothing happened and I didn't get in any trouble.

He should not be getting involved in personal relationships at work, this isn't your fault. I really hope it all works out for you - you may be better off with a new job, sounds like your colleagues aren't great. I wish you luck.

 

[FireFox]

That sounds awful. I'm so sorry. I go for older guys too. I'd feel humiliated if I had explain it all to a boss.

It just all sounds so shit because on top of this- you trusted someone- cared for them and they betrayed you. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to leave but- what are the chances of you getting a new job? Were you happy there apart from that or- would you be ok moving on? Sounds a bit like you need a fresh start. If you still feel like you have to carry on that is. I'm so sorry- sounds like you've had such a tough time lately.

@Forever Sleep Last year i was finally happy and things were beginning to get better particularly after October. Everything was going perfect for once. Then

On October I went travelling and then when I came back to the UK I got a job interview. In November I met him and I thought he was amazing.

I had the most amazing Christmas ever . Christmas day was so fun with the family.On boxing day I went to see Avatar way of the water in 4D and it was so awesome.

In a short space of time it all went wrong first I was forced to spend the entire month of January 2023 aboard in my parents home country because of family circumstances beyond my control. So much kept going wrong in one month everyday even towards the end things still kept going wrong. My relatives in my parents home country are just arseholes not all but a lot of them are not great people. It was so exhausting pretending to be happy to see them.

2023 so much has been going wrong.

 

[Forever Sleep]

@Forever Sleep Last year i was finally happy and things were beginning to get better particularly after October. Everything was going perfect for once. Then

On October I went travelling and then when I came back to the UK I got a job interview. In November I met him and I thought he was amazing.

I had the most amazing Christmas ever . Christmas day was so fun with the family.On boxing day I went to see Avatar way of the water in 4D and it was so awesome.

In a short space of time it all went wrong first I was forced to spend the entire month of January 2023 aboard in my parents home country because of family circumstances beyond my control. So much kept going wrong in one month everyday even towards the end things still kept going wrong. My relatives in my parents home country are just arseholes not all but a lot of them are not great people. It was so exhausting pretending to be happy to see them.

2023 so much has been going wrong.

I'm SO sorry. It really does sound like a whole string of things has been going wrong. Plus- after they seemed to be picking up too- I think that just makes it all worse (in my experience)- the contrast.

 

[Bardo]

Workplaces are notorious viper nests. I don't think I ever found one that was an exception amongst god knows how many in my decades of living. P.S. people suck. Just do your own thing and fuck 'em. I'd look for other places as a back-up.

 

[FireFox]

jodes has some good advice. Please follow it. I have been through a similar situation and responded to your previous post.. I'm on the other side of this now and while I still see him at work (he was my boss at the time) I feel nothing towards him, other than a bit of disgust. He's nothing to me. This is a big deal as I too felt I was falling in love. You can get through this I promise you. I thought I'd completely fucked my job up after I called him (he started ignoring me after he slept with me, not good when you're ignored by your boss at work) I was angry and I basically let loose, started shouting at him.. I was disgusted by his behaviour.
I'm still in my job, nothing happened and I didn't get in any trouble.

He should not be getting involved in personal relationships at work, this isn't your fault. I really hope it all works out for you - you may be better off with a new job, sounds like your colleagues aren't great. I wish you luck.

@LittleBlackCat Thanks that is so reassuring to read. The day I told him I was in love him looking back now that was a huge mistake because it changed everything. First for 2 days I avoided him then when I told him I didn't want things to be awkward between us at work he reassured me we are OK and there is nothing to worry about.

I blame myself 100% for all the the times I opened up to him about my problems and vunlerablites and trusting him. The most fucked up thing is my male work colleague knew already I was struggling a lot at work so for him to make a statement like that he knew full well it will land me in trouble.

He never ever filed an official formal HR complaint for harassment but his comments to my boss in a informal discussion where enough to land me in a meeting infront of the boss at the office and it was pure hell on Thrusday with the questioning.

On the day of the meeting my male work colleague was outside the room where the meeting was happening and he knew everything that was happening. He said nothing and just looked at me all day as if I was a stranger.

That day I felt like I saw the real him which he is a coward, a two faced lying piece of sh*t and a pathetic excuse of a man.

Luckily I will not be investigated or punished for harassment but now have a list of workplace controversies added. 1st in December I snapped at an entitled customer and called them out for their entitlement then I have been failing behind in my casework and other stuff.

Next week I have a review about my performance as I am halfway through my fixed term contract and i could lose my job. All my controversies will be looked at.

This is the lowest I have ever felt. It is all my fault falling for him trusting him. I blame myself for everything. Luckily

 

[absolomonisgone]

Forget about it and move on work not must but a slave they say do this do that they abuse no respect or dignity can not speak walk put clothes you want like normal person. You become slave full of fear. Forget work not for every person. Sorry bad man do that

 

[FireFox]

That's so rough. Workplaces are tough. So much politics and back stabbing and responsibilities. Not fun. That guy is a dick, he should hold himself responsible. Try to move on. Fix things by being the better person and by being strong. Calmly stand your ground but don't make a big deal out of it. Just hold your corner, this will all blow over with time. Be your good self and it should all but be forgotten.

@jodes2 On Tuesday 14th February I have a meeting with my boss and another workplace bureaucrat over my performance because I am halfway through my fixed term contract. I have been told if I don't meet the standards I will be lose my job.Both of these individuals charing the meeting are middle aged men. I have decided to bring a representative at the meeting who will be a woman so there can be a balance.

The representative is an employee supporter who is a trained individual in the workplace to help represent, advise and support employees facing workplace meetings. I will meet them for a discussion on Monday to prepare.

I am currently preparing this weekend for what I am going to say. Right now I now have less than 3 days to save my job.I have had controversies at work such as snapping at an entitled customer in December and failing behind in terms of performance etc.

My boss hates me. My boss complained about how I bring absolutely nothing to the department and even called me "immature" when I said I am being treated like a criminal in a court trial in this meeting. He brutally criticised me for being immature and the criticism was never ending. This the same man who swears like salior in work meetings, at other management staff, board meetings etc. Oh my god. The hypocrisy is astounding

I have got a huge fight on Tuesday.

 

[jodes2]

On Tuesday 14th February I have a meeting with my boss and another workplace bureaucrat over my performance because I am halfway through my fixed term contract. I have been told if I don't meet the standards I will be lose my job.Both of these individuals charing the meeting are middle aged men. I have decided to bring a representative at the meeting who will be a woman so there can be a balance.

The representative is an employee supporter who is a trained individual in the workplace to help represent, advise and support employees facing workplace meetings. I will meet them for a discussion on Monday to prepare.

I am currently preparing this weekend for what I am going to say. Right now I now have less than 3 days to save my job.I have had controversies at work such as snapping at an entitled customer in December and failing behind in terms of performance etc.

My boss hates me. My boss complained about how I bring absolutely nothing to the department and even called me "immature" when I said I am being treated like a criminal in a court trial in this meeting. He brutally criticised me for being immature and the criticism was never ending. This the same man who swears like salior in work meetings, at other management staff, board meetings etc. Oh my god. The hypocrisy is astounding

I have got a huge fight on Tuesday.

Nasty. I really wish you the best of luck. Just in case, maybe you can start looking for other jobs? It doesn't sound like this one is very rewarding anyway. I'm sure you can do better!

 

[Huntfish34]

Damn, yeah he certainly sounds like a piece of shit coward to say the Least. I think you're being too hard on yourself...... But sadly I know Alll to well that the rat race is alive and well in the workplace these days. ( About 6 yrs ago I was the * victim * in a sexual harassment case with a lady co-worker. It was soooo Insanely stupid and down right laughable even. ( I actually defended and had her back throughout the whole Bullshit management/ HR process) Should have Never Ever Fckn happened.

Extremely sad state of affairs , Very disgusting indeed. I hope your review goes smoothly and that you can move forward with an ultimate Grace. Be proud of yourself If at all possible, you didn't deserve this nightmare. Fight the Good fight, you got this.

 

[FireFox]

Nasty. I really wish you the best of luck. Just in case, maybe you can start looking for other jobs? It doesn't sound like this one is very rewarding anyway. I'm sure you can do better!

@jodes2 I work in the same company as my mother and she was so proud I got this job. All I ever wanted was to make my mother proud. We both work in different departments. I have lied to her that work is going well.

Am I so disappointed in myself and the mess I have made. This is my first ever full time job and I fucked it up so badly. I got my first part time job at 24 and my first full time job at 25. Both these jobs have been WFH and I have struggled so much which the loneliness hence I sought comfort in my male work colleague.

When I was at the office in Thrusday at the workplace meeting with all my other colleagues all I felt was " what I was staying for" this questioned kept lingering in my mind all day the answers came naturally in my head " you have nobody to stay for. You stayed for him" " you thought he is your friend" " you are not happy here the customers have this entitlement in which the world owes them a living, the system you are working with is broken everyday you are stuck in limbo"

I enjoy the salary only £28,000 per month. I don't want to be fired because I want finish my full term. The role is only 6 months.

Damn, yeah he certainly sounds like a piece of shit coward to say the Least. I think you're being too hard on yourself...... But sadly I know Alll to well that the rat race is alive and well in the workplace these days. ( About 6 yrs ago I was the * victim * in a sexual harassment case with a lady co-worker. It was soooo Insanely stupid and down right laughable even. ( I actually defended and had her back throughout the whole Bullshit management/ HR process) Should have Never Ever Fckn happened.

Extremely sad state of affairs , Very disgusting indeed. I hope your review goes smoothly and that you can move forward with an ultimate Grace. Be proud of yourself If at all possible, you didn't deserve this nightmare. Fight the Good fight, you got this.

@Huntfish34 it is my all fault for never being honest in the beginning about his age only last week I finally told my grandmother the truth about my male colleague real age. I was scared to tell people the truth I fell in love with a man in his 50s so I let everyone believe he was my age.

I said "nanny how come you never asked me about X real age" my grandmother said "oh yeah come to think of it I never asked you"

I told my grandmother lets play a guessing game on his age and I gave her hint which is she can not go lower than 30. My grandmother quickly said " 38" then I said no. She then said numbers in the 40s and then she reached 50. I told her to go higher and I told her he is 55.

My grandmother was shocked and said " no no no that is your mothers boyfriend age"

I explained to my grandmother how it was fun at first the attention he was giving me and then I told her I began to have suspicious that he was either married or with another woman after he became distant. I told my grandmother how I set a trap up for him to find out on his relationship status.

My grandmother said " very good you are a learning" and my grandmother said I am "more cleverer" than my mother because my mother when she was my age couldn't catch my father cheating and lying despite my grandmother warning her about my father's behaviour and having evidence of his cheating. My mother was believing my father over my grandmother.

My grandmother started teaching me about older men.

*My grandmother says if a man never married in his 50s then be very suspicious especially if he lives himself.

* My grandmother said there is "nothing wrong" with me and he is the "one with the problem". My grandmother says the fact the man is being builled by his younger brother proves he is a "weak and stupid man" who is easily controlled by others and can't stand up for himself.

Had I been honest in the beginning about his real age people would have warned me not to go down this path. My fault for falling in love with him and believing we could have a future together.
I cant believe I fell in love with him.

 

[FireFox]

Workplaces are notorious viper nests. I don't think I ever found one that was an exception amongst god knows how many in my decades of living. P.S. people suck. Just do your own thing and fuck 'em. I'd look for other places as a back-up.

@Bardo

* My boss kept attacking my immaturity. I am still shaken by his comments. His comments were brutal and so hurtful.

* my male work colleague now treats like a pariah and had succeded in making my boss believe I am nothing but a troublemaker young woman. My boss is in the same group as older male work colleague. Both are men in their 50s.

it is all my fault. My fault for telling my male work colleague about my struggles and feelings for him. My fault for not asking early on about his relationship status naturally I believed he was single because he lived on his own unmarried and childless. I only found out he has a gf who he has been on and off with 20 years after I questioned him about his holiday trip. I got suspicious when he started distancing himself from me.

my stupidity and naivity got me in this mess

 

[Againstthewind]

@FireFox

Reading the story, clearly someone has possibly seen the emails that you guys contacted back and forth, or he has gone and made a complaint to HR to cover his backside. It's a dick move from him because regardless of you beating yourself up about this, he was the party that should've known better in the situation between you two. In these disciplinary proceedings or meetings that you are having you're going to have to play the victim, however, in a way you are a victim because this could be seen as grooming from anybody else looking in on this situation.

Whoever is conducting these meetings is more concerned about how the issue affects the company and the team rather than the personal issue between you and them, they probably don't really care. It's how it affects business. I know you're probably worried about losing your job and not too sure about how this will go. However, I believe you have nothing to feel ashamed about, you were manipulated and a bit of a psychological game was played from his end, he honed in on somebody who was vulnerable. Even after this, he's going to have repercussions coming his way, because it will look weird that he was trying to have it on with someone who is at least 20/30 years younger than him. Plus if that's the way someone's gonna behave, who really cares about a weird old man.

Keep all copies of emails and even text correspondence between you too just in case he does make any allegations towards you that they question you about. Stay strong, you've done nothing wrong, you've done well to keep the strength up to this point. Unfortunately it's a situation where this asshole has tried to play the victim card to save his own skin.

I've been in courts accused of different things, I've been in disciplinary in companies I worked for, people may try and attack your character and it might feel personal and it might suck, but just remember these people read a script. Don't allow some idiots to judge your personal character based upon trivial situations. You know what you're capable of. You know who you are don't let them get to you.

Keep your composure. Keep your answers brief, this may end up being a blessing in disguise. Do you really wanna continue to work there after this anyway? Keep an eye on the job market to see what's out there.

You'll come out stronger, chalk this up to a learning experience on not being too trusting.

 

[FireFox]

@FireFox

Reading the story, clearly someone has possibly seen the emails that you guys contacted back and forth, or he has gone and made a complaint to HR to cover his backside. It's a dick move from him because regardless of you beating yourself up about this, he was the party that should've known better in the situation between you two. In these disciplinary proceedings or meetings that you are having you're going to have to play the victim, however, in a way you are a victim because this could be seen as grooming from anybody else looking in on this situation.

Whoever is conducting these meetings is more concerned about how the issue affects the company and the team rather than the personal issue between you and them, they probably don't really care. It's how it affects business. I know you're probably worried about losing your job and not too sure about how this will go. However, I believe you have nothing to feel ashamed about, you were manipulated and a bit of a psychological game was played from his end, he honed in on somebody who was vulnerable. Even after this, he's going to have repercussions coming his way, because it will look weird that he was trying to have it on with someone who is at least 20/30 years younger than him. Plus if that's the way someone's gonna behave, who really cares about a weird old man.

Keep all copies of emails and even text correspondence between you too just in case he does make any allegations towards you that they question you about. Stay strong, you've done nothing wrong, you've done well to keep the strength up to this point. Unfortunately it's a situation where this asshole has tried to play the victim card to save his own skin.

I've been in courts accused of different things, I've been in disciplinary in companies I worked for, people may try and attack your character and it might feel personal and it might suck, but just remember these people read a script. Don't allow some idiots to judge your personal character based upon trivial situations. You know what you're capable of. You know who you are don't let them get to you.

Keep your composure. Keep your answers brief, this may end up being a blessing in disguise. Do you really wanna continue to work there after this anyway? Keep an eye on the job market to see what's out there.

You'll come out stronger, chalk this up to a learning experience on not being too trusting.

@Againstthewind Good news I will not be investigated by my workplace or face disciplinary hearings because he never ever made an official formal complaint against me to HR. I am safe. I am relieved about that.

What happened was after I told my male work colleague I loved him and didn't want things to be awkward between us at work. He told me that we are cool and I have absolutely nothing to worry about. He and my boss had an informal conversation amoungst themselves. He whined to the boss about how I make him feel uncomfortable at work and revealed my declaration of love. Arsehole.

He knew I was struggling a lot at work already for him to make a statement like that he knew full well it will land me in problems. That is how I got meeting with boss and got the all the criticism and interrogation. The boss believed all his bullsh*t over me his. His bias was so clear .I will face no punishment for anything so I am safe. I just want a mere warning over how if he feels uncomfortable again it will go to HR so I now I steer from him and all emails must be work related.

I can't believe the man I saw as a friend in the workplace betrayed me like this. I trusted him and Worst of all I will never understand why he did this. Everyone at work sees him as the nice guy who is not capable of upsetting people

He is a fucking coward, arsehole, POS honestly on Thrusday I felt like I saw the real him. Worst of all he said nothing when he saw how upset I was in the office at the meeting with the boss. He was outside and heard everything.

He knew full well what he had done and the pain I am in. All he did was look at me as of if was a complete stranger.

 

[Bardo]

@Againstthewind Good news I will not be investigated by my workplace or face disciplinary hearings because he never ever made an official formal complaint against me to HR. I am safe. I am relieved about that.

What happened was after I told my male work colleague I loved him and didn't want things to be awkward between us at work. He told me that we are cool and I have absolutely nothing to worry about. He and my boss had an informal conversation amoungst themselves. He whined to the boss about how I make him feel uncomfortable at work and revealed my declaration of love. Arsehole.

He knew I was struggling a lot at work already for him to make a statement like that he knew full well it will land me in problems. That is how I got meeting with boss and got the all the criticism and interrogation. The boss believed all his bullsh*t over me his. His bias was so clear .I will face no punishment for anything so I am safe. I just want a mere warning over how if he feels uncomfortable again it will go to HR so I now I steer from him and all emails must be work related.

I can't believe the man I saw as a friend in the workplace betrayed me like this. I trusted him and Worst of all I will never understand why he did this. Everyone at work sees him as the nice guy who is not capable of upsetting people

He is a fucking coward, arsehole, POS honestly on Thrusday I felt like I saw the real him. Worst of all he said nothing when he saw how upset I was in the office at the meeting with the boss. He was outside and heard everything.

He knew full well what he had done and the pain I am in. All he did was look at me as of if was a complete stranger.

I'm so relieved to hear this. Yes, steer clear of him and his"tribe". It's hard, but in general it's simply a better policy to keep work and personal lives separate. Great advice from AgainsttheWind. I really feel good that you're out from under. Just keep all documentation anyway. Always have a way to cover yourself against nasty workplace skirmishes.

 

[Againstthewind]

@Againstthewind Good news I will not be investigated by my workplace or face disciplinary hearings because he never ever made an official formal complaint against me to HR. I am safe. I am relieved about that.

What happened was after I told my male work colleague I loved him and didn't want things to be awkward between us at work. He told me that we are cool and I have absolutely nothing to worry about. He and my boss had an informal conversation amoungst themselves. He whined to the boss about how I make him feel uncomfortable at work and revealed my declaration of love. Arsehole.

He knew I was struggling a lot at work already for him to make a statement like that he knew full well it will land me in problems. That is how I got meeting with boss and got the all the criticism and interrogation. The boss believed all his bullsh*t over me his. His bias was so clear .I will face no punishment for anything so I am safe. I just want a mere warning over how if he feels uncomfortable again it will go to HR so I now I steer from him and all emails must be work related.

I can't believe the man I saw as a friend in the workplace betrayed me like this. I trusted him and Worst of all I will never understand why he did this. Everyone at work sees him as the nice guy who is not capable of upsetting people

He is a fucking coward, arsehole, POS honestly on Thrusday I felt like I saw the real him. Worst of all he said nothing when he saw how upset I was in the office at the meeting with the boss. He was outside and heard everything.

He knew full well what he had done and the pain I am in. All he did was look at me as of if was a complete stranger.

Thats excellent news, what a great turn out that is, sometimes people show their true colours sometimes, it hurts of course, but it can be a great blessing in disguise. What if you had a longer relationship with this man? He could have betrayed you when you were in deeper, and that would've hurt harder, and would've been harder to leave.

Of course you know now to keep your head down

 

[hungry_ghost]

If you feel like you're about be fired, I would suggest searching for a new job now so you can prepare to resign instead.

It might be better to just find a new environment to work in since so many negative things occurred at this job, and if you are terminated, it will look worse for a future employer.

 

[FireFox]

Thats excellent news, what a great turn out that is, sometimes people show their true colours sometimes, it hurts of course, but it can be a great blessing in disguise. What if you had a longer relationship with this man? He could have betrayed you when you were in deeper, and that would've hurt harder, and would've been harder to leave.

Of course you know now to keep your head down

@Againstthewind I always thought he was nice guy who was not capable of doing this. When I told him I loved him and found out he has gf he started to change towards me I just couldn't see it.

Worst of all he saw how upset I was in the office that day and he said absolutely nothing and looked at me as if I was a stranger. It was so painful this was someone I loved, admired and he betrayed me and humiliated me at work.

His silence and that stare was most painful. It it still hurts. He has pierced a massive knife in my heart and back god it hurts.

I have learnt from this. NEVER again am I getting involved with a male work
colleague. I am now laying low at work. I am staying far away from him. Everyone at work thinks he is a nice soft guy and I am the trouble maker. The fact I even had to scream " he is 55" was the worst because my boss couldn't see the power dynamics and who is in a more dominat position.

I do know he is currently being builled at by his younger brother and has had mental health stress issues because of it he used to tell me, we used to tell each other everything. I know he a weak man.

I'm so relieved to hear this. Yes, steer clear of him and his"tribe". It's hard, but in general it's simply a better policy to keep work and personal lives separate. Great advice from AgainsttheWind. I really feel good that you're out from under. Just keep all documentation anyway. Always have a way to cover yourself against nasty workplace skirmishes.

@Bardo I deeply regret telling him that I am loved in him after I found out he had gf because that is when he changed towards me. He never said anything after I told him I loved him but he goes and tells the boss.

he saw how upset I was in the office that day and he said absolutely nothing and looked at me as if I was a stranger. It was so painful this was someone I loved, admired and he betrayed me and humiliated me at work.

Everyone at work thinks he is a nice kind soft guy and I am the trouble maker young woman. The fact I even had to scream " he is 55" was the worst because my boss couldn't see the power dynamics and who is in a more dominat and commanding position

That day in the office the way my male colleague stared as me as if I am a stranger and was just painful.