Venting i finally understand what they mean about being happy

[maneose]

almost all my attempts have been impulsive, so whenever i heard stories about people who've ctb where they planned it and are happier near the date, i never understood it. i guess mostly because everytime i've tried, i was sobbing before or during because i was just in too much mental anguish. but today after looking at a few methods and their outcomes, i decided on one i was sure that i would use if i ever came to the decision. also i sorta have a date? well, it's anytime after summer because i have a small business order to complete and don't plan on taking people's money to the grave. and that gives me plenty of time to put everything else in order! maybe it's not the same euphoric feeling others get the day before, but just knowing i have something to live for (i am very funny) just takes so much weight off my shoulders and makes me feel at peace. like, i can live for a few months more and not have to worry about so much, just try and enjoy the ride you know?

 

[derpyderpins]

Good for you. This is why I think it's good to have ctb as an option. The weight off your shoulders means there was a weight on your shoulders. And this means you're capable of being happy without that weight. Whether you go through with it or not I hope you have plenty of good moments on the way.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be a relief to feel more at peace, I wish you the best in your plans.