Story I finally got medical care I desperately needed!

[timetogo46892]

This was soooooo difficult for me due to previous medical trauma and I think just autism and/or whatever else is wrong with me but I FUCKIN DID IT.

It was a tooth that needed to be taken out very badly. My dentist actually dropped me as a patient because I kept not getting it fixed and it had sent me to the ER once already from the infection spreading. I guess that made me a liability she didn't want to deal with.

I felt weirdly calm the day before the appointment and even while driving there. I was worried all of the stress would suddenly come out in the form of a bad panic attack and it did : /

Everything was fine until I was sitting in the room and I had a major panic attack, fainted and then almost left but my oral surgeon and the tech were so nice and helped me calm down and get it done. It was really unpleasant ofc but it's behind me now.

This felt like such an important step in recovery for me. For a long time I would just tell myself it didn't matter because I was going to CTB anyways which def caused the anxiety to build up more.

I'm about 10 weeks sober from alcohol and i've been on sertraline for about 6 weeks now. IDK if it's working but I'm going to keep trying meds until I find something.

I feel hopeful. I still have to see a normal doctor for some other issues and taper off of benzos but I'm gonna keep fighting. Thanks to anyone who read this <3 I needed to share this and I just kinda want to talk about it honestly.

 

[Enyan]

Ugh, panic attacks are the worst, but you did it! Congratulations, it's so wonderful to see people make progress and feel hopeful on here ♡ GL with the benzo taper, too!

 

[timetogo46892]

Ugh, panic attacks are the worst, but you did it! Congratulations, it's so wonderful to see people make progress and feel hopeful on here ♡ GL with the benzo taper, too!

Panic is just the worst. And this was probably the worst panic attack i've had in at least a year. I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack or something for a moment. BUT, I am past it. Thank you for you kind words.

 

[Catechism2282]

Congratulations, its good to hear news like this. I've made quite a few friends in psychiatric hospitals and walked a lot of them through how to get benefits, it has improved their lives dramatically. I am 15 months clean myself, synthetic opoids. It still sucks, but I'm just glad to be done with those withdraws. In my experience, benzos were never good for my depression or anything for that matter. They slow me down, I forget everything, etc. Benzos are basically flushing my mental health down the toilet, my life really. Took me a long time to realize that too, I sure did love the relief they provided, not worth it though.

 

[timetogo46892]

Congratulations, its good to hear news like this. I've made quite a few friends in psychiatric hospitals and walked a lot of them through how to get benefits, it has improved their lives dramatically. I am 15 months clean myself, synthetic opoids. It still sucks, but I'm just glad to be done with those withdraws. In my experience, benzos were never good for my depression or anything for that matter. They slow me down, I forget everything, etc. Benzos are basically flushing my mental health down the toilet, my life really. Took me a long time to realize that too, I sure did love the relief they provided, not worth it though.

You are spot on about benzos. High-dose benzos are a fucking nightmare that no one should be on for extended periods (except for maybe those with epilepsy, idk). They were and still are immensely helpful for my anxiety, but NOTHING can make benzo withdrawal worth it. It's been like 6 years at this point, and it feels like wasted years of my life. They made me weaker, less able to deal with stuff like my dental issues, even if it felt better short term. I still have a pretty long way to go tapering off of benzos, but I look forward to putting that all behind me. Thank you for your response, and congrats on 15 months sober <3