I finally broke up with my gf.

[UnwillingSavior]

5 years and some months, now just a memory. This pain is unlike anything I've ever felt before, I feel like it'll literally kill me. She and I are still on good terms because it was a mutually agreed decision, but oh my god this pain. It hurts so bad. I truly really did love her, and she did love me too, but we just felt we could not keep this up. I don't know what to do, I keep thinking she will replace me in a week or month. I'm in such agony, please someone help, advice, good words, anything, I'm losing my mind...

 

[Linda]

5 years and some months, now just a memory. This pain is unlike anything I've ever felt before, I feel like it'll literally kill me. She and I are still on good terms because it was a mutually agreed decision, but oh my god this pain. It hurts so bad. I truly really did love her, and she did love me too, but we just felt we could not keep this up. I don't know what to do, I keep thinking she will replace me in a week or month. I'm in such agony, please someone help, advice, good words, anything, I'm losing my mind...

Finding another partner, if you can, will probably help.

Five years is an unusually long time to be expriencing this level of distress over a breakup, and it might be worth talking to a therapist.

 

[bianbianbianbian]

Hey, I just broke up with my boyfriend like a few minutes ago. We only dated 5 months and became extremely toxic but we still love each other. I can't imagine years. I understand the feeling of being scared of being replaced so quickly. He was the best I've ever had despite all the toxicity. I'm so sorry. This shit hurts. Real bad. I'm not sure I'm prepared to be alone. Or be without him. But, push through for you. As another member said, therapy might just help some. I think I'll be going. I still need to grieve: Delete his pictures and his number. You can message me anytime. Push through. Stay safe.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

My ex broke up with me several years ago when we were dating for almost 5 years. I understand what you feel, it's a long time and depending on how the relationship was and the level of attachment, it can be a difficult break up. If you feel it is too much to handle, it could be good speaking to a therapist or at least a friend.

When my relationship ended, the almost 5 years one, I had to seek therapy, it was awful to heal from that one. It wasn't mutually agreed, he replaced me with another girl 3 days later, I was devastated beyond words. It's good that your breakup was mutual, it helps with the healing process.

Also, how recent it is plays a part on how painful it is. As time goes on it will subside, try to focus on yourself, doing some hobbies, taking care of yourself. It's the best you can do

 

[UnwillingSavior]

Finding another partner, if you can, will probably help.

Five years is an unusually long time to be expriencing this level of distress over a breakup, and it might be worth talking to a therapist.

I appreciate the advice. I'm not sure it's healthy for me to try and find a replacement, it's not fair to that person I latch myself to and destructive to myself. Sorry, I should've specified we just ended our 5 year relationship.

Hey, I just broke up with my boyfriend like a few minutes ago. We only dated 5 months and became extremely toxic but we still love each other. I can't imagine years. I understand the feeling of being scared of being replaced so quickly. He was the best I've ever had despite all the toxicity. I'm so sorry. This shit hurts. Real bad. I'm not sure I'm prepared to be alone. Or be without him. But, push through for you. As another member said, therapy might just help some. I think I'll be going. I still need to grieve: Delete his pictures and his number. You can message me anytime. Push through. Stay safe.

Godspeed to you, I hope you can heal soon. It's great you recognize the toxicity that was left behind, but even then it hurts so bad to leave behind something that was ultimately not healthy, no matter how good it felt. Thanks for offering to talk to me, I think I'll message you sometime soon. Stay safe and eat well.

My ex broke up with me several years ago when we were dating for almost 5 years. I understand what you feel, it's a long time and depending on how the relationship was and the level of attachment, it can be a difficult break up. If you feel it is too much to handle, it could be good speaking to a therapist or at least a friend.

When my relationship ended, the almost 5 years one, I had to seek therapy, it was awful to heal from that one. It wasn't mutually agreed, he replaced me with another girl 3 days later, I was devastated beyond words. It's good that your breakup was mutual, it helps with the healing process.

Also, how recent it is plays a part on how painful it is. As time goes on it will subside, try to focus on yourself, doing some hobbies, taking care of yourself. It's the best you can do

I'm so sorry you lost so much time to an awful person. I'm real impressed you survived that encounter, I think if my situation was like yours I'd definitely ctb. I'm happy for you.
The mutual aspect with my ex is something I'm lucky to have, but nonetheless I'm dying inside. The pain isn't as bad as when I posted, but I'm still feeling sick to my stomach and full of regret.



Update to everyone that commented: We had another talk and we agreed to stay friends. We are both hurt and regret so much. We also agreed to try again in another year but are also content with letting each other go. If either of us meet anyone, so be it. I suppose my experience is lucky, but I just feel awful. I want to ctb but I have a mixture of hope and despair that is confusing me. I appreciate you guys, thanks.

If you ever read this RK, I'm so sorry. I hope you and I can both heal. I don't regret a moment spent with you...

 

[lita-lassi]

youre both going to need space to figure out what being without the other is really like. im not saying cutting off entirely is the right move but spending time together right now even with clearly established boundaries will be REALLY painful and likely drag several unwanted feelings out for both of you. i hope youre able to find helpful coping activities/skills. but focus on yourself and just know that clinging into the hope of trying again may be more damaging to any progress :/ im so sorry this is happening. when my relationship of 5 1/2 years ended he left me for dead and i very nearly did actually die from the loss. it takes years depending on how one handles it. but one day far in the future, there will be a time their name doesn't cause tears.

 

[tryingtoquietdown]

I still need to grieve: Delete his pictures and his number.

I'm so sorry to both of you for having to endure that pain. I just wanted to point out that this is a great phrasing of what losing a relationship is: grief. People usually reserve the idea of grief for losing someone to death, but losing a romantic partner, best friend, or any kind of close relationship is a time for grief as well. Just like grieving death is different from person to person, grieving relationships is different, so don't judge yourself or feel guilt for having these emotions. Let yourself grieve this loss. Even if you're not grieving the person, you can grieve that you lost a source of comfort and safety. It can be extremely difficult and traumatic. I hope you both find ways to heal.