Help I feel uncapable of holding any firm beliefs

[DeathPaloma]

It's like I am colorblind and I know a leaf is green but I can't see the actual green...

I feel like that about life philosophy, I don't belive in anything, I suppose I am very nihilistic nothing can be changed, nothing matters, I don't care about anything. Whatever...

So even when I am exposed to something that makes sense or a philosophy or thought that I like and in the best scenario will inspire me momentarily.

Most times I see a "philosophy" that makes sense or that I feel I maybe could use to help guide my life and my search for pourpose and meaning. It's like I can't acutally grasp what it means, how to keep it in mind.
It's like finding a quote you really like and forgetting it. So you remember there was a quote that I really like but I can't remember at all what it says. I can't acutally feel inspired

Less often I will feel inspired but that feeling will fade very quickly, like in an hour. And things are going back to not mattering.

It's like in movies when the character has a very meaningful thing happen in their dreams and then they wake up and can't really remember.

It's like these things inspire me too superficially nothing really hits deep, and again on the very rare occasion it does... it doesn't stick

Help? How to figure out what to do with myself? how do I actually belive in something?

 

[Brown-Jacket Revy]

Maybe do some self-reflection in a journal?

I saved a bunch of prompts/questions that I've been meaning to dig into because I am also working on self-discovery.

There's a bunch of these kinds of posts on Pinterest.

 

[DeathPaloma]

Maybe do some self-reflection in a journal?

I saved a bunch of prompts/questions that I've been meaning to dig into because I am also working on self-discovery.

There's a bunch of these kinds of posts on Pinterest.

Idk, I might look at those later in my current mood I am not realy willing...

Like from the first image
1. I Hate myself
2.I dont give a shit
3.Anger
4. That I am a useless fucking coward
5. Nothing
6. Most of them ( I could make a list)
7. I run
8. Honestly no clue, nothing seem important to me
9. Usually like I fooled someone or if I feel like like I shouldn't because I suck.

10. I don't remember. Even as I child I remember being sad and crying a lot

I am going to stop

 

[XXXWRLD]

What are your thoughts on stoicism?

 

[DeathPaloma]

What are your thoughts on stoicism?

Cool in theory a bit non sensical, ( I am really bad at finding the right words to express myself, so non sensical wasn't exacly the word I wanted)... but like "sounds good, doesn't work"

 

[XXXWRLD]

Idk, I might look at those later in my current mood I am not realy willing...

Like from the first image
1. I Hate myself
2.I dont give a shit
3.Anger
4. That I am a useless fucking coward
5. Nothing
6. Most of them ( I could make a list)
7. I run
8. Honestly no clue, nothing seem important to me
9. Usually like I fooled someone or if I feel like like I shouldn't because I suck.

10. I don't remember. Even as I child I remember being sad and crying a lot

I am going to stop

Cool in theory a bit non sensical, ( I am really bad at finding the right words to express myself, so non sensical wasn't exacly the word I wanted)... but like "sounds good, doesn't work"

I like how through reflection you construct your own meaning in life, and then you go about doing it without allowing others peoples opinions to sway you. The only true focus is 'do good'

Overall I'm with you though, I don't know if any dogmatic way of living has caught up to the complexity of which we exist.

Which leads me to a quote that I once thought about a lot, but not so much anymore.

"It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society"

 

[Forever Sleep]

I guess the problem with all philosophies and religions is that they can't be proven. I think we all go through phases where we feel lost and we hope we'll hit on that one thing that makes everything make sense. I don't know. I haven't found it yet!

I certainly remember reading self help books that made a difference to me at the time- Eckhart Tolle's 'The Power of Now' was one but- like you- I don't remember much of it now.

I think in a way, I've more come to the acceptance that no one really knows. Certain things will probably resonate with each of us more than others because of our life experience to date but as for one particupar idea or philosophy- I don't think it exists for me. That's good though- it means I can pick and choose from all sorts of sources as to whichever make sense to me. I guess you just have to keep searching- and maybe you'll hit on something that makes sense. Maybe you won't.

In a way, I think Absurdism fits my way of thinking the best. I do think in a way it's all absurd and I do think we tie ourselves in knots trying to define something that can't be defined yet. I doubt anyone will congratulate the person that strikes on the meaning of life. How will they ever really know they got the right answer? Same with religion in a way- unless there really is a second coming or- we find out when we die. It's not that I think it's pointless to wonder about this stuff. We're bound to- we have brains that do that but I feel like it's something we may have to accept we'll never get the answers to.