Venting I feel so worthless

[restless.dreams]

Academics used to be the one thing I could do right. I was a high achiever in high school and college. Now I'm easily the worst student in my program. I can't focus, can't stay motivated, can't put in the work. No matter what I do, it's never good enough. I know my advisor thinks I just need to tough it out, and if I can't do this, I must not be "passionate" enough. Well, maybe he's right. I'm letting everyone down, and leeching money and resources that could go to someone more deserving. I know I should just drop out, but then everyone will know I'm a failure.

The really sad part is, this was supposed to be my dream. Getting into grad school was the one thing that kept me going after my last CTB attempt.

Now I have nothing, and it's all my fault.

 

[DrPepper709]

I used to be one of those gifted kids, but now I am too burned out to care about school and get mediocre grades. It completely sucks when we're trained to put mental health, work life balance, and general happiness below achieving high grades, and then when we burn out, no one has a clue how to help except tell you to just keep pushing on, and that you're not trying hard enough.

I can only imagine how rough it is when you're in grad school while suicidal, pretending not to be suicidal and watching everyone else do better than you because they're actually happy with their lives. It sounds exhausting.