i feel so much closer to dying

[depthss]

i have not killed myself yet because of guilt, but i have a feeling i will soon. i am very excited to die. i feel very positively fixated on death, especially suicide. i have a feeling i will do it soon, though im not sure exactly when. i do partial for short amounts of time, so i can feel the symptoms, and feel closer to dying. i had a vision of me dying there while i was hanging, and some other vision i cant describe too well.
i feel so ready to die, and it all feels so close to me now. i dont think just guilt can keep me around much longer, i am sure i will be dead soon. i cannot imagine myself living for years and years. it seems terrible. i do not see any point to life, and i dont get why people find anything purposeful or fulfilling. im very painfully aware of how edgy and nihilistic i sound. i wish there was a way to say all this in a better way, but i guess thats just how it is.
im just waiting for the day that the guilt stops bothering me. i can already feel it will be soon

 

[Unknown21]

Same. I can feel it coming.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also could never see any point to any of this, existing will always feel so undesirable to me personally and it's something I'd never wish for. But anyway I wish you the best.