I feel so alone

[Queenbannie]

Hey,

26Y Female here
Struggle with depression/social anxiety and adhd since I was 15. I already tried a lot of treatment but nothing helps. I struggle so much with living I cant feel joy and I am always bored. Last years I struggle with addiction and now I am stuck in this house with my parents.

I just want to get high or drunk because its the only thing that makes me happy. I have to be sober for treatment but I don't think it will help me.. I already tried so much. I don't have any friends because I am fucking awkward and boring and dead inside. Why the fuck would anyone hang out with me? When I get close to someone I got extremely anxious they will leave me.. I also can't get in a relationship because of this. Fucking attachment issues.

I just want to die.. I want to go to heaven where I can finally feel joy and happiness. I can't bear tis pain anymore. I live at my parents house and I can't order anything. I am stuck in a life where I don't want to be. I need to find a way out.. I am done..

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find peace eventually, it sounds like you've suffered a lot.

 

[bigworm]

I'm sorry that I can't find a way to help as I'm in same boat as you. Just realize you aren't the only other person living this way. I've been wanting to CTB since I was 7 and was always made of for being autistic my entire life. I just hope you find peace in one way or another. May god be with you. (if there is one)