I absolutely feel the same. I feel so alone and I wish I had more friends to talk to, especially friends to talk to about suicidal feelings. I've tried talking to people online but it's hard to find people you feel comfortable talking to from the Internet. I've just been forced to be socially isolated since I was in middle school because of bullying, and as I grew up and met teens that actually wanted to be friends, I was too anxious from PTSD to get close to people. Finally as an adult I actually wanted to socialize and hang out with other people, developed these chronic illnesses which ruined my ability to do that no matter how hard I tried. My life has just been so horrible and unlucky. If anyone else dealing with this wants to talk about it, feel free to message me because I feel alone too.