Venting I feel like my body wants me to die

[OnceThougtTwiceDone]

I feel like my body is trying to put me through so much pain that I'm suicidal again, I guess it succeeded . I've felt nauseous, had back pain, heartburn, etc. for a while now, and it makes everything I do painful. The thing I'm most upset about is the fact that it's probably because of my stupidity in 2019. Since then my life has been horrible and I always thought "It'll get better" but it never has, maybe temporarily, but I almost always have some mental or physical problem. "Oh now I want to die and I didn't even know what suicide was," "oh I get a panic attack every single day and have to be homeschooled," "oh there's this magic virus that's going around the place which means I need to stay inside for half a year and then be careful for the next year and a half," you get the idea. Does anyone else feel this way? I might make a 2nd part to this later but right now I don't feel well enough, oh well, or unwell, I guess.

Spoiler: I'm Back

Hello there, before I start talking I just wanted to say hi, it's been a while since I've been here, but unfortunately it's not a good idea to message a friend that I'm jumping down at least 3,500 feet isn't a good idea. I doubt anyone remembers me, but you can pm me if you need help with figuring out a method.

Also thanks for you guys being better than the average therapist, kind of stupid that even in this specific section people are more helpful than people who went to college to do the same thing.

 

[numbed one]

All our bodies are pushing us to death one way or another haha , but our brain resists for a few years before death occurs finally

 

[theboy]

All our bodies are pushing us to death one way or another haha , but our brain resists for a few years before death occurs finally

This

 

[OnceThougtTwiceDone]

All our bodies are pushing us to death one way or another haha , but our brain resists for a few years before death occurs finally

I didn't mean for it to sound like this, I meant it wants me to kill myself, not just die over time.

 

[Gonnerr]

Me too , my urge to ctb is almost 10 out of 10 , i wanna wait until april or may at least, i wanna do it in nature but getting there it will be hell.