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sserafim

sserafim

they say it’s darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
8,422
Muh media
I'm honestly done with anime/manga which was the media I consumed most, there are a couple more I want to read/watch and after that I doubt I'll ever get back into it again. I just feel like I'm done and I've seen it all before or it just doesn't impact me/matter to me. Same with movies. The only stuff I really enjoy is dumb shit with fight scenes that lasts 1 and a half hours. I think I've watched 99% of the good ones already, and at this point everything is boring and predictable except the ones that are intentionally so and entertain you with stupidity. I realized this with games recently too. I was playing the new zelda, and it just felt like a reskin of the old with a few new gimmicks. 90% of games just feel like useless cashgrabs these days, again I do have some stuff in my backlog but once that's done there's nothing more.

Traveling used to be what interested me in life, but I've traveled through all of Europe and seen whatever I wanted to see. I had a bit of a nomadic lifestyle and enjoyed it, but I feel like there's nothing more now. Maybe I want to visit Japan, that's about it.

Friends are a cope, most conversations and people get boring sooner or later and I even get bored posting in places like here but it kills the time and gets dopamine from responses/reacts I guess.

Muh relationship/family
Yeah settle down with some boring guy that hates me. Kids would just be an annoying obligation and I'd have to stay home cleaning diapers when I'm not working.

Am I supposed to fucking wageslave? I've coped with muh hobbies, I've learnt enough to be called a walking encyclopedia, I used to play guitar but my band failed and I don't care to go through the bs of trying to form a new one. Also the kind of music I like, and bands in general aren't really popular these days, I'd just have to rely on soundcloud/youtube and a maybe some local gigs.

Idk man. I wanna maybe visit Japan, complete a couple games and manga, and then I would really just feel like I've burnt out on life. At that point I wouldn't really want to do anymore. I can finish all of that this year, I have enough left over money for Japan (assuming I don't have much expenses after that)
I'll probably just try to go out Joe style after. Don't know what else to do. I'm not depressed about my life, I'm glad that I experienced what I got to experience, and I lived on my own terms instead of waging away or dedicating myself to other people. But I've done whatever I wanted to do. And I think I'm done at this point. Some would cry about nobody visiting their funeral, and that's probably my future, but I don't mind that. Doesn't really matter anyway. Dying alone is completely fine to me.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
1,685
Traveling used to be what interested me in life, but I've traveled through all of Europe and seen whatever I wanted to see. I had a bit of a nomadic lifestyle and enjoyed it, but I feel like there's nothing more now. Maybe I want to visit Japan, that's about it.
That's some rich people shit right there.
 
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PetrichorBirth

PetrichorBirth

Student
Mar 5, 2024
118
Man i wanna visit Japan too some day. Have you watched The melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya?

I'll probably just try to go out Joe style after.
Who is Joe and in what style did he go out?
 
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J

J&L383

Specialist
Jul 18, 2023
359
Yes I'm quite jealous that you were able to do all that traveling already! As for me, now that I have the money to travel I don't want to travel anymore anyway it's too much trouble. 🤷‍♂️ So it's good you got the traveling out of your system while you were still energetic about it.
 
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damienlerone

damienlerone

English or Spanish...
May 5, 2024
853
The melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya?
yooo fire show!!
I realized this with games recently too. I was playing the new zelda, and it just felt like a reskin of the old with a few new gimmicks. 90% of games just feel like useless cashgrabs these days, again I do have some stuff in my backlog but once that's done there's nothing more.
you should try out Omori, or at least take a look at it. Its a psychological horror game so i'm not sure if you're into that, but it has a deep impact and its sad and happy at the same time.
my pfp is of Omori because i find it that good💀
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,961
I sort of understand how you feel. It's similar to how I felt after watching Avengers Endgame or the final season of The Flash or when Smash Ultimate released Sora from Kingdom Hearts as a dlc character. This completeness caused me to want to focus on other things and then I realized there are very few things left I want to experience. Lucky you don't have enough testosterone to feel compelled to spread your genes and start a family at least. It's a nightmare of a dream to have and it only gets worse when it can't be completed. 😞
 
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xinino

xinino

Anti humanist
Mar 31, 2024
399
Bored from the holy game, a useless consumption, What you are wanting for Acéphale, just do it, the dagger is in your left hand, and prove that you aren't some sort of tool in utilitarian regime.
 
Alexei_Kirillov

Alexei_Kirillov

Missed my appointment with Death
Mar 9, 2024
635
I saw a reddit post a few years ago that put it perfectly:
I know depression can be treated, I know there are new jobs, new friends, countries I haven't seen, books I haven't read, conversations to be had. Heck, maybe I'll even find love, who knows.
But the thing is, I don't give a crap. I have this feeling inside me that I'm done. I've had good times, I've had bad times. I don't need any more new experiences, happy or sad.
Some people live everyday like it's their last day on earth. I live everyday like my last day on earth was yesterday. I'm just an empty shell, a ghost. My future is just something to be calculated, a technical formality I have to endure. It's a fucked up experience to have at this age.
 
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T

thenamingofcats

annihilation anxiety
Apr 19, 2024
453
The teens and first half of the 20s are when everything is new and exciting. After that it's hard to get the same stimulation. Even new things are predictable since they're just different versions of old things. I mean how many times can a person visit a new place or go to a new restaurant or read a new book?
 
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xinino

xinino

Anti humanist
Mar 31, 2024
399
I saw a reddit post a few years ago that put it perfectly:
Whether life is purely, highly productive, functional, or just mere useless consumption, it's just not worth living because it's only interpreted from a materialistic perspective. Georges Bataille was right when he reevaluated the irrational part of our brain, which needs to be fed up by sacredness like religion, art, ecstasy, or any form of particular phenomenon's admiration, it is more like a psychological need despite its unreliability. So there is always an exciting inexperienced part of our lives that lies deep in our unlimited irrationality, waiting to be discovered. And the most beautiful irrational experience is the embracement of death, suicide, and sacrifice because it defies human greatest fear, pushes the boundaries of reason, and liberates from any form of predetermined assumptions.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

Death is white, not darkness.
Apr 17, 2023
3,264
Name every anime you watched.
 
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leavingthesoultrap

leavingthesoultrap

(ᴗ_ ᴗ。)
Nov 25, 2023
1,176
I feel the same now when I am almost 30. Nothing is appealing to me anymore I realised the futility of everything.
I didn't feel this way when I was younger tho. I chalk it up to being naive.
You seem to be pretty aware of the reality right from the get go.
 
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Zazacosta

Zazacosta

Student
Apr 29, 2024
101
@sserafim

You post made me think a lot about myself and my life. Thank you for that.
I wanted to write much longer post here, but I realized that it would be made of full boring bullshits anyway. (EDITED - it seems that I wrote long post anyway...OMG)
I was in a quite similar situation. I would not say the same. Who can say that he was in 100% same situation like any other if he/she has not encountered same things during his/her/its lifetime.
The biggest mysteriousness in life is the life itself.
I belive what holds you back from trying new things is your mind set as you wrote in another thread.
You want to be the best in something or never try it at all.
I belive you are afraid to fail.
I will tell you one obvious boring shit.
All people fail. Somebody fails more, somebody less. Those people who say that they never fail, those people fail the most.
Enough.

If you really believe that you have already spend your time in life, there is nothing else to write.
I also believe that I will someday consider that I have already spent, watched, listened, and burnt everything what was destined to me.
It only just currently seems that I have more things which I want to do and try in my life than you. Considering that you wrote that you will be done with nearly everything this year.

Can I have 1 different question?

I used to play guitar but my band failed and I don't care to go through the bs of trying to form a new one. Also the kind of music I like, and bands in general aren't really popular these days, I'd just have to rely on soundcloud/youtube and a maybe some local gigs.

I am also enthusiastic a lot about music. I listen a lot of different genres and I also played an instrument when I was young and then switched to producing "electronical music" myself. I am just curious about what kind of music you tried to do or what it should sound like.
Can I ask you if you want to share your music with me? I do not care if it is music what you recorded in the past or the music you like and what you wanted to your music to sound like.... If you do not want to share that publicly, can you PM me?
I can share also my music, but I believe that you will not like it so much...

Thanks. ZA.
 
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