Venting I feel like I'm stuck in this hell forever

[JustBeingHere377]

I feel empty and exhausted. I have a pretty healthy sleep schedule (I get at least 8 hours of sleep per night and I go to sleep and wake up at consistent times) but I still feel exhausted all the time, both mentally and physically :( Also I recently lost ALL interest in things. Music is bland, video games are boring and annoying, all my hobbies became stressful etc. And the worst thing is that I feel empty, no matter what I do. Recently I got what is probably the best streak of really high grades in the shortest amount of time in my entire grade (and maybe school) and yet I still feel empty, bored and sometimes sad... I tried coping in various ways (including unhealthy methods such as selfharm) but nothing work, and I also can't get myself to CTB, my survival instinct always kicks in and keeps me in this hell, I literally can't take it anymore... I know that no one here can physically help me but I just wanted to get this off my chest, expecially since this is the only place I can share this without getting the same responses

 

[anhedonya]

I feel empty and exhausted. I have a pretty healthy sleep schedule (I get at least 8 hours of sleep per night and I go to sleep and wake up at consistent times) but I still feel exhausted all the time, both mentally and physically :( Also I recently lost ALL interest in things. Music is bland, video games are boring and annoying, all my hobbies became stressful etc. And the worst thing is that I feel empty, no matter what I do. Recently I got what is probably the best streak of really high grades in the shortest amount of time in my entire grade (and maybe school) and yet I still feel empty, bored and sometimes sad... I tried coping in various ways (including unhealthy methods such as selfharm) but nothing work, and I also can't get myself to CTB, my survival instinct always kicks in and keeps me in this hell, I literally can't take it anymore... I know that no one here can physically help me but I just wanted to get this off my chest, expecially since this is the only place I can share this without getting the same responses

If you don't think it's depression in terms of your sleeping and interest loss, have you looked into chronic fatigue?

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling and it's good to say what's in your mind. I'm proud of you for your grades, do you feel you've had to over exert yourself in that part of life? Is there anything you could do to make life gentler for yourself? I know circumstances are the primary thing that impact depression, and it sounds fake until you try them yourself, but even really small self care things and resting even more can make a huge difference to just how bad the depression is. What can you do to make your life a little easier? For example, if getting up to clean your teeth is too much to handle, you could order small disposable brushes online and plastic cups so you can do it in bed.

I wish you the best of luck. Here if you want someone to talk to.

 

[JustBeingHere377]

If you don't think it's depression in terms of your sleeping and interest loss, have you looked into chronic fatigue?

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling and it's good to say what's in your mind. I'm proud of you for your grades, do you feel you've had to over exert yourself in that part of life? Is there anything you could do to make life gentler for yourself? I know circumstances are the primary thing that impact depression, and it sounds fake until you try them yourself, but even really small self care things and resting even more can make a huge difference to just how bad the depression is. What can you do to make your life a little easier? For example, if getting up to clean your teeth is too much to handle, you could order small disposable brushes online and plastic cups so you can do it in bed.

I wish you the best of luck. Here if you want someone to talk to.

I do think that it's depression, apparently I have chronic depression (if that's the proper name) and I have had it along with suicidal thoughts since I was 12 :')

Also thanks for the advice! I think I'll be trying to rest more and take more breaks, I really don't know what I can do to make my life less stressful and miserable (especially since I literally stopped good feeling things so even relaxing has little to no effect qwq), and my life already feels kinda easy so I don't know how to make it gentler or more relaxing. But I'll try! Thank you ^^