Venting I feel like I'm not enough

[Lemuell]

honestly it's all because of my family, they're still treating me like a baby keeping an eye on me like i don't know what's right and wrong, brothers always watching my actions, looking through my stuff, putting unrealistic expectations on me and whenever I dissapoint them i get a dose of emotional abuse honestly i wish it was physical instead

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

Infantilization sucks, but as somebody who was frequently physically abused growing up, all it does is make you a rageful person. You internalize the violence you got as something normal and you become prone to attacking others. To this day I have trouble keeping my rage in check, to the point that I outright scare my loved ones and don't even realize how abnormal my periods of anger are. I got that while also being the "baby" of the family, so it's like wtf am I even supposed to be at this point?

Does your family even know what they want from you, or is it just some vague idea of success?

 

[Lemuell]

Infantilization sucks, but as somebody who was frequently physically abused growing up, all it does is make you a rageful person. You internalize the violence you got as something normal and you become prone to attacking others. To this day I have trouble keeping my rage in check, to the point that I outright scare my loved ones and don't even realize how abnormal my periods of anger are. I got that while also being the "baby" of the family, so it's like wtf am I even supposed to be at this point?

Does your family even know what they want from you, or is it just some vague idea of success?

they say they do it cuz they love and i believe they do love me, they just don't know how to deal with me as they probably incountered the same treatment as kids

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

Yeah, my parents were similar thinking they can just keep shoving me into success, and it never worked. I just try to stay out of their way these days, letting myself wither to the point of frailty. I wish you the best.