Venting I feel like I'm meant to ctb

[buttonfish]

It's something I'm slowly coming to terms with. I don't want to die, but I genuinely feel as if it's my destiny to end it all.

I'm a loser, I have no friends, I have no job, I don't go to school, I live with my parents. I contribute nothing and I AM nothing.

I believe I was put on this earth to kill myself. I don't know if that makes sense but its how i feel

 

[rottenflesh]

same here... im doing good rn therapy and meds but i know no matter how good life gets, i will die from suicide eventually....

 

[MyLuckyStars]

it was a depressing thought to me, at first. born to eat, shit, and then off myself before i really did much of anything. in the grand scheme of things, though, the difference starts to feel sort of minute. i picture it as if im being held at gunpoint, and someone tells me "i could kill you right now. but i might not. what would happen if i spared you?". I say, id probably go home, make food, sleep, and then do my usual day stuff. id do this a bunch of times, and then id kick the bucket. then he says "and what if i killed you now?". and then i say, well, i guess then itd happen earlier. and then we sit there, and i just stop thinking about it. makes no difference what he decides to do. at least, if you're of the mind that your future cant possibly contain anything worth noting beyond the norm. only you could say whats on the horizon on that front. hope the right decision finds you