Aliceinborderline

Aliceinborderline

Member
May 13, 2023
56
For context I live in Canada and it feels like our mental healthcare here doesnt exist or atleast its never existed for me. I have had horrible experience after experience after experience reaching out for help. Due to part of my condition using phones and even remember basic things is very difficult so its even harder to try to get out of this. I am on disability but would love to work if i could find a supportive work place that would accept my disabilities but when applying for a job it feels like they only want perfection or rather people they can exploit as i have yet to even get a interview and even if i did there is no promise my issues wont force me out of the work place as i have yet to get any real help on addressing and working on my issues.

Recently i have come out of what id call one of the worst moments of my life with things looking up and for a while i no longer wished to end things but with the positive always seems to come a negative and that negative is the insane cost of living and the meager amount i am left with after rent. Like i want to get better i want to be happy and feel secure in life I dont care about much else i dont dream of riches just enough to live and like with nothing changing and everything happening i feel like my issues are unsolveable and be that true or false the fact is ive been left to sit with them for over 15 years and they only got worse with more trauma. I dont want to be apart of a society that doesnt give me a place in it. I dont want to always be poor and counting my money to the last dollar. I dont want to be a slave to my own mental health knowing how much it limits my potential. I want to recover but i dont think its possible.
 
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