Clowndollie

Clowndollie

Focused on healing 💭
Apr 14, 2024
108
I'm a girl that lives in the Netherlands and I've truly never met someone before who struggles with the same things I do. I feel completely alone in my suffering and it's so bad that it makes me feel psychically sick. I almost have no friends and everything feels hard to do because of my autism + I recently got out of a relationship with a very narcissistic and toxic guy who I still really long for. It feels like I can't live if I'm not with him but I also kind of know that that's the manipulation speaking. It's just too hard for me to keep living honestly. I wish everything could go back to the way it was. It's probably never going to get better again and I don't have the strength to hold on.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,494
Welcome to the forum! I think you will find others here who struggle with similar problems! 🫂

When you have a few more messages you will also be able to use the chat.
 
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Helween

Helween

This is this and that is that.
Apr 13, 2024
106
Welcome, i recently got out of a relationship too, an autistic girl that i love with all my heart with the ups and down, she started to forgot about us as soon a she met new people at her work and decided that i wasn't enough anymore. i dont have any "friends" here since i moved in to live with her and every true mutual friends we had ghosted us because she was too harsh on them. i had to cut a lot of past friendships because she said they were too present in my life. Now i'm like a ghost to her, we barely talk beside the fact that she said that she really want to be with me, love me and all. i never felt like my feelings mattered in our relationship. I dont have the strenght nor the will to move on, so i understand how you feel truly.
 
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Clowndollie

Clowndollie

Focused on healing 💭
Apr 14, 2024
108
Welcome, i recently got out of a relationship too, an autistic girl that i love with all my heart with the ups and down, she started to forgot about us as soon a she met new people at her work and decided that i wasn't enough anymore. i dont have any "friends" here since i moved in to live with her and every true mutual friends we had ghosted us because she was too harsh on them. i had to cut a lot of past friendships because she said they were too present in my life. Now i'm like a ghost to her, we barely talk beside the fact that she said that she really want to be with me, love me and all. i never felt like my feelings mattered in our relationship. I dont have the strenght nor the will to move on, so i understand how you feel truly.
Thank you for sharing, it feels a bit relieving to know that there's someone out there that understands how I feel. It's so tiring though, I'm sorry you're feeling this way as well. You can always talk to me
 
Helween

Helween

This is this and that is that.
Apr 13, 2024
106
Thank you for sharing, it feels a bit relieving to know that there's someone out there that understands how I feel. It's so tiring though, I'm sorry you're feeling this way as well. You can always talk to me
Feel free to reach out too if you need advice or just wanna talk/vent ~ , i know how lonely it can be out there.
 
HopingOnaMiracle

HopingOnaMiracle

Experienced
Mar 8, 2024
297
I'm a girl that lives in the Netherlands and I've truly never met someone before who struggles with the same things I do. I feel completely alone in my suffering and it's so bad that it makes me feel psychically sick. I almost have no friends and everything feels hard to do because of my autism + I recently got out of a relationship with a very narcissistic and toxic guy who I still really long for. It feels like I can't live if I'm not with him but I also kind of know that that's the manipulation speaking. It's just too hard for me to keep living honestly. I wish everything could go back to the way it was. It's probably never going to get better again and I don't have the strength to hold on.
Im from the Netherlands too and I feel your pain. It's so hard to explain even to therapists how I feel. Feels like I'm alone in my suffering.

Do you have activities that make you feel less terrible? And are you getting psychological help by a professional? You say stuff won't get better but you have to admit you don't know that for sure.
 
Clowndollie

Clowndollie

Focused on healing 💭
Apr 14, 2024
108
Im from the Netherlands too and I feel your pain. It's so hard to explain even to therapists how I feel. Feels like I'm alone in my suffering.

Do you have activities that make you feel less terrible? And are you getting psychological help by a professional? You say stuff won't get better but you have to admit you don't know that for sure.
I used to crochet, knit and draw on my iPad but I've noticed that I'm even too tired to do those things now. And yes, I have two psychologists and I'm on medication. I like to travel as well so I'm going to Canada and Paris soon. I know that I don't know for sure if stuff will get better, but I'm too tired to hold on. I've planned that I'll end it after my travels. I feel so incredibly lonely.
 
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