I feel Invisible

[LostMyWay]

Having no friends and being a loner is such an awful feeling. Whenever I go outside and hear kids playing with their friends, or people having a conversation and laughing, having a good time, it just resonates with me even more how much of a loner I am. Everyday I'm always miserable, people tell me that I don't look happy, and I'm aware of it. It's hard to fake a smile and pretending to be okay is exhausting. I was walking through the city today, and all I could see are happy people enjoying their lives. No one paid any attention to me, not that they should. But it's such a weird feeling. It reminds me of those tv shows or cartoons where the main character dies, and he turns into a ghost. He can see everyone else, but no one can see him. He just watches and observes the world pass him by, alone in his little ghost realm. My friends and family have noticed my demeanor, and they feel sorry for me. They mean well and want to help, but there's nothing they can do to help me. I feel like a disappointment. Nothing goes well for me in life, but everyone else seems to get everything they want. The worst part of all is there's no one to blame for this. It's all just chance and I lucked out. What an awful feeling this is. If god is real, fuck him for creating me to live this shitty existence.

 

[LostSoul1609]

Having no friends and being a loner is such an awful feeling. Whenever I go outside and hear kids playing with their friends, or people having a conversation and laughing, having a good time, it just resonates with me even more how much of a loner I am. Everyday I'm always miserable, people tell me that I don't look happy, and I'm aware of it. It's hard to fake a smile and pretending to be okay is exhausting. I was walking through the city today, and all I could see are happy people enjoying their lives. No one paid any attention to me, not that they should. But it's such a weird feeling. It reminds me of those tv shows or cartoons where the main character dies, and he turns into a ghost. He can see everyone else, but no one can see him. He just watches and observes the world pass him by, alone in his little ghost realm. My friends and family have noticed my demeanor, and they feel sorry for me. They mean well and want to help, but there's nothing they can do to help me. I feel like a disappointment. Nothing goes well for me in life, but everyone else seems to get everything they want. The worst part of all is there's no one to blame for this. It's all just chance and I lucked out. What an awful feeling this is. If god is real, fuck him for creating me to live this shitty existence.

I feel the same sometimes. But you also say you have friends and family willing to help? Why can't they do so?

 

[again_noidea]

I was walking through the city today, and all I could see are happy people enjoying their lives. No one paid any attention to me, not that they should. But it's such a weird feeling. It reminds me of those tv shows or cartoons where the main character dies, and he turns into a ghost. He can see everyone else, but no one can see him. He just watches and observes the world pass him by, alone in his little ghost realm.

I feel you. at the height of my social isolation, i too felt like. That feeling is almost uncanny. Now that you reminded me i have to say, that it went away since i have more social contacts (not really friends) maybe it will begin again when i drift away from the people that are now in my circumference. Well, i'm not sure if I care anymore. Hanging is not the so bad after all. Are you young or is it almost over for you. I mean, lots of change can happen before you reach 35 years.

 

[Walkingcorpse123]

Yes I feel you. But It doesn't bother me anymore because im getting ready to die.

 

[Chiisai]

I feel you. at the height of my social isolation, i too felt like. That feeling is almost uncanny. Now that you reminded me i have to say, that it went away since i have more social contacts (not really friends) maybe it will begin again when i drift away from the people that are now in my circumference. Well, i'm not sure if I care anymore. Hanging is not the so bad after all. Are you young or is it almost over for you. I mean, lots of change can happen before you reach 35 years.

Ive been slowly withdrawing myself from people I know. Saying goodbye is hard so withdrawing is an indirect way of saying it. I feel like I cannot wait until that age. I dont want anymore pain.

 

[again_noidea]

Ive been slowly withdrawing myself from people I know. Saying goodbye is hard so withdrawing is an indirect way of saying it. I feel like I cannot wait until that age. I dont want anymore pain.

These things are very complicated, especially if you don't have an "official" illness. Take your time, but maybe hold some loose contact with some people, so that you have the possibility to reconnect. Sometimes a message or a short call is enough to hold the connection and some people even understand or at least respect your situation. But it is easy to write that and harder to do.... i know, in know. good luck

 

[LostMyWay]

I feel the same sometimes. But you also say you have friends and family willing to help? Why can't they do so?

Most of the issues that I face are mental. Social anxiety, feeling inadequate, and just being terrible at socializing. There is more to it but those are the most pressing ones. I really don't see how they could help in any way. I've always been fucked up in the head like this, and being bullied in school growing up made me hate people.

I feel you. at the height of my social isolation, i too felt like. That feeling is almost uncanny. Now that you reminded me i have to say, that it went away since i have more social contacts (not really friends) maybe it will begin again when i drift away from the people that are now in my circumference. Well, i'm not sure if I care anymore. Hanging is not the so bad after all. Are you young or is it almost over for you. I mean, lots of change can happen before you reach 35 years.

I'm 22 years old. I know a lot of older users say "Oh well you've got time". The thing is, I don't see what waiting a few more years would do. As long as my brain keeps working the way it does, I'll probably be in the same exact position at 35. I just feel like a defected human being. There's no fixing this, the only thing to do is what you do whenever you screw up a project or a piece of paper. You throw it in the trash where it belongs.

 

[LostSoul1609]

Most of the issues that I face are mental. Social anxiety, feeling inadequate, and just being terrible at socializing. There is more to it but those are the most pressing ones. I really don't see how they could help in any way. I've always been fucked up in the head like this, and being bullied in school growing up made me hate people.

I'm 22 years old. I know a lot of older users say "Oh well you've got time". The thing is, I don't see what waiting a few more years would do. As long as my brain keeps working the way it does, I'll probably be in the same exact position at 35. I just feel like a defected human being. There's no fixing this, the only thing to do is what you do whenever you screw up a project or a piece of paper. You throw it in the trash where it belongs.

What have you tried to do up to now to fix these mental issues?

I understand friends and family not being able to help you in this situation, they aren't psychologists after all, but they can still offer you support

 

[ollo]

My friends and family have noticed my demeanor, and they feel sorry for me

We hope someone reaches out, but this world doesn't work like that, mostly people will reach out to you, only if u have something to offer them, that includes me too...

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence is a horrible thing and it is true that everything is determined by chance. Many people suffer and it is no fault of their own. This world is very unfair. I'm sorry you are going through this. I understand that seeing the way that others are can make us aware of what we lack and it can be a depressing feeling. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[LostMyWay]

What have you tried to do up to now to fix these mental issues?

I understand friends and family not being able to help you in this situation, they aren't psychologists after all, but they can still offer you support

Sorry for the late reply, I forgot I made this post, I should check on this site more often. But I've tried forcing myself out of my comfort zone, I've tried therapy, I've done my own research online and tried advice from the internet. I just feel cursed. No matter how hard I try it seems like I don't make any progress. I'm terribly insecure and I barely leave my house except to go to work. I'm such a fucking failure man, I just don't want to be here anymore.

 

[UnemployedMD]

Having no friends and being a loner is such an awful feeling. Whenever I go outside and hear kids playing with their friends, or people having a conversation and laughing, having a good time, it just resonates with me even more how much of a loner I am. Everyday I'm always miserable, people tell me that I don't look happy, and I'm aware of it. It's hard to fake a smile and pretending to be okay is exhausting. I was walking through the city today, and all I could see are happy people enjoying their lives. No one paid any attention to me, not that they should. But it's such a weird feeling. It reminds me of those tv shows or cartoons where the main character dies, and he turns into a ghost. He can see everyone else, but no one can see him. He just watches and observes the world pass him by, alone in his little ghost realm. My friends and family have noticed my demeanor, and they feel sorry for me. They mean well and want to help, but there's nothing they can do to help me. I feel like a disappointment. Nothing goes well for me in life, but everyone else seems to get everything they want. The worst part of all is there's no one to blame for this. It's all just chance and I lucked out. What an awful feeling this is. If god is real, fuck him for creating me to live this shitty existence.

Your thoughts seem very similar to my own and is exactly how I feel every day. You also seem to be very self-aware of the things holding you back which is especially painful to come to terms with knowing there is quite possibly no solution. I feel like I am broken too and damaged from repeated trauma I've forcibly endured over an extended period of time and now have a overwhelming distrust and contempt for most people I encounter as a result. I was never the most social person either, but have become a complete recluse ever since depression has taken over me. The world is just cruel and some of us just really seem to be cursed to lives of loneliness, disappointment, and bad luck in spite of our best intentions to not end up like that. Just remember you aren't alone and there are many other people out there who feel exactly the way you do.

 

[one.way.out]

I relate to this. Not feeling invisible per se, but like a background character.

 

[Chiisai]

I feel you. It seems no matter what I do in life no matter how cautious I am in making choices, I always get the bad stuff. I cant bear to wait more years for this to keep happening. If this is a curse, lucky are those who already "got out".

Your thoughts seem very similar to my own and is exactly how I feel every day. You also seem to be very self-aware of the things holding you back which is especially painful to come to terms with knowing there is quite possibly no solution. I feel like I am broken too and damaged from repeated trauma I've forcibly endured over an extended period of time and now have a overwhelming distrust and contempt for most people I encounter as a result. I was never the most social person either, but have become a complete recluse ever since depression has taken over me. The world is just cruel and some of us just really seem to be cursed to lives of loneliness, disappointment, and bad luck in spite of our best intentions to not end up like that. Just remember you aren't alone and there are many other people out there who feel exactly the way you do.