Venting I feel in mental agony and torture and I just feel scared and alone

[kawaiiphantom]

I feel in so much psychological torture and I just had a huge breakdown and I can't think straight and I'm so sorry. I cried and hyperventilated and acting really strange. I'm so sorry for posting this here I just don't have anyone to go to my best friend said my mental health has been hard on him lately, I don't want him to leave me again like last time so I have to keep it all in. and one of my other best friends they're going through a lot and I know I've been affecting them and the already done so much for me. I also when they were pulling up YouTube one day on the tv, in their search results it said "how to deal with a depressed/suicidal person" I don't want them to have to deal with me anymore. This is the only place I have. It's hard to Last long enough but I have to get the notes and paintings done I have to I can't go yet. I'm sorry this post is just. I can't think straight. I feel so scared I don't want to be like this I want to be normal and happy but no matter how much I try I just can't I want to be like everyone else, last time all my friends hung out without me because I was having episode and wasn't able to function and was crying and I just want to spend time with them so badly but everyone's busy. I want to tell them how much I'm suffering but I can't I can't let anyone know I don't think they would care anymore. I don't want him to leave me. I just want to be happy so so so sos o so badly I want to spread kindness and make people smile I want to make the world a better place but I can't last any longer. I'm in so much mental pain. everyday. I just. I just can't I can't I want help but it's not coming. I'm so sorry for all of the text I'm really I shouldn't be venting but if I don't I'll kill myself before I can finish preparations

 

[Toobrokentofix]

Please, please don't be sorry for venting. I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I understand how isolating it is being suicidal amongst people who aren't and who find your pain "too much". For me it's desperately lonely and at times utterly terrifying. Feel free to dm if you want to chat.

 

[throneofdispair03]

i'm sorry you have to go thru this. don't apologize for letting your feelings out. we are to listen to you.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

Please, please don't be sorry for venting. I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I understand how isolating it is being suicidal amongst people who aren't and who find your pain "too much". For me it's desperately lonely and at times utterly terrifying. Feel free to dm if you want to chat.

Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me it made me smile. I've calmed down a bit. I really appreciate it a lot :> i hate that you have to go through the loneliness and fear too, I really wish you didn't I'm here to talk too if you ever need me!!!

i'm sorry you have to go thru this. don't apologize for letting your feelings out. we are to listen to you.

Thank you so much for the kind words I always feel like an attention seeker when I vent and ahhh. So this helps a lot :] !

 

[Kit1]

I am so sorry that you are feeling so lonely, isolated, in pain and suicidal. You are on the right forum to be ablentontry and voice what you are going through and we are here to support you - no need to apologise ad most of us are here as we are not able to communicate how we feel outside of this forum. Please feel free DM me and take care.