kawaiiphantom
I gently open the door
- Feb 1, 2024
- 301
I feel in so much psychological torture and I just had a huge breakdown and I can't think straight and I'm so sorry. I cried and hyperventilated and acting really strange. I'm so sorry for posting this here I just don't have anyone to go to my best friend said my mental health has been hard on him lately, I don't want him to leave me again like last time so I have to keep it all in. and one of my other best friends they're going through a lot and I know I've been affecting them and the already done so much for me. I also when they were pulling up YouTube one day on the tv, in their search results it said "how to deal with a depressed/suicidal person" I don't want them to have to deal with me anymore. This is the only place I have. It's hard to Last long enough but I have to get the notes and paintings done I have to I can't go yet. I'm sorry this post is just. I can't think straight. I feel so scared I don't want to be like this I want to be normal and happy but no matter how much I try I just can't I want to be like everyone else, last time all my friends hung out without me because I was having episode and wasn't able to function and was crying and I just want to spend time with them so badly but everyone's busy. I want to tell them how much I'm suffering but I can't I can't let anyone know I don't think they would care anymore. I don't want him to leave me. I just want to be happy so so so sos o so badly I want to spread kindness and make people smile I want to make the world a better place but I can't last any longer. I'm in so much mental pain. everyday. I just. I just can't I can't I want help but it's not coming. I'm so sorry for all of the text I'm really I shouldn't be venting but if I don't I'll kill myself before I can finish preparations
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