Venting I feel guilty

[rotten_hrtz]

I never thought I'd come back to this forum, but I returned because everything got worse...

My depression has worsened and in the last few days I realized that I was groomed online during my adolescence, I discovered it because apparently my mind blocked those memories and I only recently remembered them, The last time I was groomed was when I was 16 but I never asked for help because in my country this situation is very normalized and they even blame the victims so I didn't ask for help and I never told my mother because I was afraid of her reaction.

I feel guilty and dirty just remembering it. I feel like I should have done something or maybe reported it but I just stayed silent. One day I mustered up the courage and blocked him, but I never asked for help, This whole situation makes me want to die.

 

[U. A.]

It's not your fault. Children are never responsible.

 

[rotten_hrtz]

It's not your fault. Children are never responsible.

Thank you, I'm too ashamed to talk about it, but I needed to express the guilt I feel every day because of it

 

[PrincessSaturn]

I hope that over time, the feelings of shame lessen for you. No judgement here, and you're not to blame for what happened to you. Sadly, grooming is very common in online spaces, so you're definitely not alone or crazy for having these thoughts and feelings.

 

[rotten_hrtz]

I hope that over time, the feelings of shame lessen for you. No judgement here, and you're not to blame for what happened to you. Sadly, grooming is very common in online spaces, so you're definitely not alone or crazy for having these thoughts and feelings.

Thank you so much, reading this really helps me a lot :3

 

[Chemi]

I'm really sorry you're going through all of this. What you remembered, and what happened to you, was not your fault. Not then, not now. Grooming is something that many adults do to young people by exploiting your innocence, trust, confusion, and just vulnerability. They get off on the thought of being able to control you. You were a minor and didn't know better at the time. You were manipulated and the responsibility lies entirely with the adult who harmed and took advantage of you.