I Feel Exactly the Opposite About Others as I Feel About Myself

[KafkaF]

For others I always see hope. I always try to comfort them and be optimistic about them. When they make mistakes I try to make sure they don't feel like they're too bad and try to point out the good things. I can see the worth and the value in almost anyone. And when I find someone I really care about, I can love them so much I'm willing to do anything for them, forgive them anything and lay down my life for them.

I'm exactly the opposite with myself. I see no hope for myself at all. When I feel like shit, I make myself feel worse. Tell myself I'm a complete piece of trash that nobody could ever love. Tell myself to shut the fuck up with my whining and end it already. When I make a mistake or, arguably, even when I don't make a mistake I blame myself and think I'm awful for it. I feel guilt so strongly and blame myself for it. I've never been able to love myself for two seconds. In fact, I hate myself with an unbridled passion that burns hotter than a thousand sons. And I think I'm completely worthless.

Idk, it's interesting. The way I feel about myself and talk to myself and treat myself in my head is a way that I would never treat anyone else. I'm completely merciless and ruthless with myself, never seeing any good and always telling myself I'm awful. Whereas with other people I care, I love them, I forgive them almost anything, I always try to make them feel better when they're sad. It's almost like I'm two different people in that way...

I do think that's me though. I think it's that I'm singularly useless and unworthy of love. And I always screw everything up cuz I'm worthless. I think I'm just unique in that way, I guess. Maybe one of the only people in the world deserving of no love and entirely deserving of the treatment I give myself.

Cuz I do believe that. I do believe that every single thing I say to myself and how I treat myself is fully deserved.

It's just... odd, I guess. The way I talk to and feel about other people is so completely opposite to the way I talk to and feel about myself.

 

[verywelladjusted]

I feel the same. The exact same thing. I am the stupidest, ugliest, most useless abomination to ever have existed in the history of humanity. And some one should send me back to whatever dark hole I came from. If you're into SCP , I feel like whatever I think the Shy Guy character feels like. I delete all photos of myself and have no real people social media. I'd like to say thank you to you and whoever created this forum though. Never been able to express myself like this without people giving me weird looks or telling me I lack faith in god, or I'll rot in hell for thinking these thoughts.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't think you're alone in that. I think lots of people do have an unforgiving and berating inner voice. Yours does sound especially harsh though. Out of curiosity- are you able to accept compliments from other people? do they annoy you? Or, do you just disregard them as being wrong? Or, overly kind maybe?

Have you ever tried to challenge the way your inner voice speaks to you? Have you ever tried to find excuses for things you do that you don't like? Do you think you will try? Do you know where it came from? Did you have especially demanding parents? Of course- all this is pretty personal- so obviously, I don't expect you to reply if it's too much.

It's got to be rough though- living with that. I can be harsh on myself but- certainly not all the time. I probably spend more time feeling sorry for myself! Which probably isn't very empowering either.

 

[Kit1]

For others I always see hope. I always try to comfort them and be optimistic about them. When they make mistakes I try to make sure they don't feel like they're too bad and try to point out the good things. I can see the worth and the value in almost anyone. And when I find someone I really care about, I can love them so much I'm willing to do anything for them, forgive them anything and lay down my life for them.

I'm exactly the opposite with myself. I see no hope for myself at all. When I feel like shit, I make myself feel worse. Tell myself I'm a complete piece of trash that nobody could ever love. Tell myself to shut the fuck up with my whining and end it already. When I make a mistake or, arguably, even when I don't make a mistake I blame myself and think I'm awful for it. I feel guilt so strongly and blame myself for it. I've never been able to love myself for two seconds. In fact, I hate myself with an unbridled passion that burns hotter than a thousand sons. And I think I'm completely worthless.

Idk, it's interesting. The way I feel about myself and talk to myself and treat myself in my head is a way that I would never treat anyone else. I'm completely merciless and ruthless with myself, never seeing any good and always telling myself I'm awful. Whereas with other people I care, I love them, I forgive them almost anything, I always try to make them feel better when they're sad. It's almost like I'm two different people in that way...

I do think that's me though. I think it's that I'm singularly useless and unworthy of love. And I always screw everything up cuz I'm worthless. I think I'm just unique in that way, I guess. Maybe one of the only people in the world deserving of no love and entirely deserving of the treatment I give myself.

Cuz I do believe that. I do believe that every single thing I say to myself and how I treat myself is fully deserved.

It's just... odd, I guess. The way I talk to and feel about other people is so completely opposite to the way I talk to and feel about myself.

You have described me perfectly as well. Always wondered if it is connected to lack of self confidence, lack of self worth, being a trauma victim/survivor, neurodivergence, complex PTSD..,

I think we just need to try our best (I try and fail miserably) to keep reminding ourselves of what we know are our weaknesses in being harsh towards ourselves.