R
ready.to.go
Member
- Nov 19, 2021
- 45
I've been dealing with this debilitating physical illness for a couple years. I've been to dozens of doctors and no one has any answers. I'm currently temporarily living in another city to try to see if doctors have answers. If I get nothing, I'm going back home in January and plan to ctb in February. I'm bed ridden and in constant pain and my life is just not worth living. I'm very set and confident in my decision.
The problem is that I obviously can't tell my family. So I have to play along in making plans for the future. Getting an Airbnb for a wedding in June that I know I won't be going to. Making plans to visit in May when I know I won't be around anymore. Etc etc. Every time it happens I feel this horrible weight of lying to them and leading them on. It hurts so much and I feel so guilty.
Telling them isn't an option. They would 5150 me or do something to prevent it. I wish I could so they have time to prepare and that I didn't have to hide things from them.
The problem is that I obviously can't tell my family. So I have to play along in making plans for the future. Getting an Airbnb for a wedding in June that I know I won't be going to. Making plans to visit in May when I know I won't be around anymore. Etc etc. Every time it happens I feel this horrible weight of lying to them and leading them on. It hurts so much and I feel so guilty.
Telling them isn't an option. They would 5150 me or do something to prevent it. I wish I could so they have time to prepare and that I didn't have to hide things from them.