I feel already dead

[jimmy7754]

The only memories of me feeling alive are just little sparks. I can't feel like this anymore.

 

[Wrennie]

The only memories of me feeling alive are just little sparks. I can't feel like this anymore.

I try not to think too much about my past memories. The knowledge that the hobbies I used to actively engage in and that the fun times I spent with friends & loved ones are now forever out of my grasp is by far too painful for my heart to handle. I spend the remainder of my time on this earth dissociating from the harsh & unforgivable nature of my reality. I'm used to dissociating as an unhealthy coping mechanism stemming from childhood trauma, so it comes easier to me than most.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like I have already died as well, in my case it could be argued that I have never even felt alive. Living a pointless, empty existence can be dreadful. It is cruel how we are forced to exist without choice and we have to endure all this pain. I hope you find freedom from your suffering.