I failed, feel useless.

[DeathKitty]

Chickened out when I was supposed to jump off a bridge like some weeks ago. I keep looking back to it and just feeling useless and hopeless.

My body froze up when I was at the edge, I couldn't do it. I stood there for a good while just looking down at the ground. I feel so dumb. Why couldn't I just have jumped. I'm so tired.

 

[JustA_LittlePerson]

If it makes you feel better, it happened with me too, many times.

 

[overdosesuckz]

i did this just yesterday, i understand how you feel

 

[TomorrowNeverComes]

Happens to the best of us friend. Take some time to collect yourself, and the decision on how to move forward will come to you. Good luck.

 

[Gangrel]

Happened with me too. It's hard, probably one of the hardest things ever, you're not useless for not being able do it. You're fighting against the survival instinct most living beings have, even plants. Even if you want to logically die, your body doesn't. Please give yourself some slack, it's like saying "well my toaster can't run Baldur's Gate 3 it's so useless" well...yeah it was made that way, just like you.

 

[AbusedInnocent]

I've failed to beat my survival instinct many times as well, my only regret is not having committed suicide earlier but I understand how I feel when I'm about to do it and cut myself some slack now.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

[esistzeit]

I once had the opportunity to climb a telephone tower. I was all by myself, it was nighttime and nobody would see me until the morning. I would've avoided a lot of pain if I had done it that day. But I lacked the courage to do it. I understand how you feel.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling tired of suffering in this existence, I personally really wish that suicide is straightforward, I find it cruel and dreadful how it's so difficult to die. But anyway best wishes.

 

[onelastcall]

It's okay. It wasn't your time. I also sat at the edge of a cliff. I found the view beautiful. I wasn't scared of jumping just felt that day it wasn't it. Take care.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You're not useless! Jumping is difficult. Don't be too hard to yourself

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

I Feel you, I had a similar experience, when I was twelve, I Tried to OD on sleeping medication, but After swallowing a large quantity I lay in my bed, and it eventually hit me what I had just done so I ran to the bathroom and threw them all up.

Sometimes I wonder if it was the correct decision to back out or not, but to be fair I wasn't in a rational enough state then to really think it out.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I couldn't even imagine jumping at the absolute worst of times. Don't be hard on yourself

 

[lostintheloop]

You're not useless. I have done the same. Jumping is really difficult to overcome SI with . It's really hard to stop your body tensing up even if you overcome it mentally . Just the way we're wired. Just like with bungee and parachute jumps etc . Eventhough people know they're safe and want to do it, so many freeze up or try to grab something to stop themselves
That's SI . But then it's 1000x worse when not safe and know you'll die .

 

[tinyhotot]

Chickened out when I was supposed to jump off a bridge like some weeks ago. I keep looking back to it and just feeling useless and hopeless.

My body froze up when I was at the edge, I couldn't do it. I stood there for a good while just looking down at the ground. I feel so dumb. Why couldn't I just have jumped. I'm so tired.

I know how you feel. Ive been here time and time again. You'll probably get it eventually. The other side is a scary concept but think of it as plunging into cold water. You arent dumb for hesitating.